When I started breastfeeding my oldest, I said I would "try it out." I didn't really think about how long we would nurse for; I wasn't even sure we would succeed. He struggled because of an underlying infection and was hospitalized for severe dehydration in the very first week of his life. At that point, I was happy just to nurse at all and only saw one day at a time. He naturally weaned at about 13-14 months, and never looked back. My second child is still nursing, tandem nursing with his 1 year old brother. My middle child is 3.5 years old. Honestly, I knew I wanted to tandem nurse, especially because it was so foreign to me; no one in my family nurses for a long period of time let alone tandem! So when my youngest was born, I was thrilled to tandem. It has been a struggle at times over the last year. My middle child wants to nurse at least a dozen times a day. I have found myself recently cringeing when he asks to nurse; I don't know why. When I sit down and think about it, it makes me sad. I really do believe in CLW, and we let our children's cues dictate so much else in our lives; why should this be different? But something about two tugging at me constantly is draining me emotionally. My baby is not interested in solids, so he still nurses full-time, day and night, for his nourishment at nearly 13 months old.
I often resent my middle child still nursing but don't have the heart to say no. I have tried imposing limits, like only at home, only certain times of the day, limiting the duration of the session, but he flips out and throws a massive fit, no matter where we are, and then we get *those looks.* Y'know, the shocked, omg-he's-still-nursing-I-can't-believe-I-just-heard-that" looks. I wish I could say I was Teflon and it didn't matter, but it does get to me. I would be much happier letting him nurse, I believe, if it could just be in our home and only a few times a day.
I've tried substituting things, like snuggling and reading a book, but he literally spends the whole time saying "nurse nurse nurse" and licking the outside of my shirt where my nipple is. He's such an easy-going kid usually, about anything else.
I don't even know what I'm saying or asking. I just wanted to put this out there with mamas who maybe understand. Another mom, a LLL leader, recommended weaning him cold-turkey, but I just don't have the heart to do that to him. I do love having the connection to him, but I guess I'm feeling angry towards him because I feel like I'm not allowed to have a voice in the relationship, like only he gets to decide when/where/how much/how often because he throws such a big embarrassing fit. I don't want to feel like my opinion doesn't matter in this nursing relationship; I feel used.