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In your circle of friends/family

post #1 of 52
Thread Starter 
what is the percentage of intact to circumcised boys? And why do you think that is the breakdown?

There are a total of 21 grandchildren on my dh's side. 3(my three) out of 19 total boys are intact boys. On my parents side there are 4/4 that are intact. I tihnk this is due to the fact that my mom was a maternity nurse and was appalled by circ. So what's your family's story?
post #2 of 52
Out of 6 combined grandson's from DH and my family, our son will be the first to be intact. My husband had an intact cousin who had "lots of problems with it" probably due to forced retraction. I'm pretty sure my 3 male cousins are circed.

Among my friends the vast majority have intact sons...but they're all AP parents.
post #3 of 52

My dad and my husband are circumcised but my parents did not circumcise my brother (now 27 yrs old) and we did not circumcise our son. Everyone in my family shared the idea that it seemed wrong to cut a baby when he was so small, and we are pretty well traveled and familiar with countries where circumcision is exclusively for religious purposes (which we don't have.) Among my friends, it seems about 50/50. 

post #4 of 52

Out of the 5 grandsons my parents have, my son is the only intact boy. Actually, to avoid convoluted details... out of the additional 11 sons, grandsons, and cousins I can think of throughout my extended family, I'm absolutely sure that my son is STILL the only intact boy. The only chances I'm wrong is a son of dh's cousin, and my two cousins could be intact... but I really doubt it.


Pretty sure all the grandfathers in question are intact, just due to the when and where they were born, but one grandfather only had girls, the other was probably at the bar when dh was circ'd, the other wouldn't have gone against medical advice.


As far as why, I think it's because no one else in the family questions the medical establishment. Period. And dh and I question EVERYTHING. We're the (happy) rebel outcasts. ;) That being said, were my older sister to have another son, she wouldn't circ again. And thinking back, she DID question it, we were just basically from a place (mentally and geographically) where circ was normal, so since she didn't find (or probably couldn't think of) any good reasons NOT to (back in '86, there just wasn't enough easy access to good info for anyone, let alone teen moms!) circ, she did it because it was what she was familiar with, and what everyone said to do.


ETA: With my friends, it's about 50/50. I'm hoping a gf who is TTC will go with the flow our other close-since-8th-grade gf and I have started with our two intact boys when and if she has a boy - she knows both of our boys are intact.

post #5 of 52
My parents have 3 grandchildren, 3 boys only my ds is intact. My dh's parents have 3 grandchildren, 2 are boys only my ds is intact. The first 2 where circed because my older brother was circed at 3yo the boys belong to him. The other side the other boy was going to stay intact because his father is but ironically enough the mother of the father insisted her grandson be circed for religious reasons even though her own ds was not headscratch.gif

I dont know any other boys who are intact.
Edited by MCatLvrMom2A&X - 3/8/11 at 12:51pm
post #6 of 52
We don't know any other intact boys, not one relative or friend. I know one family that would not have done it but they have 3 girls. My family thinks we're weird and they accept my boys being intact because of that. I don't think anyone in our family would consider leaving their sons intact. We aren't close enough to anyone on DH's side of the family (other than MIL) to know their feelings on it. I don't think MIL has a strong opinion about it either way.
post #7 of 52

We (as far as I know) have the only Intact son out of all of our family and friends.  I'm pretty open about it so I'm sure if someone else had an Intact son as well, they would have stepped up. 

post #8 of 52

On my side of the family, 2/3 of the grandchildren (my kids and my sister's kids) are intact -- my four boys versus her two :)

On DH's side of the family, there is only one other grandchild, and he is intact!! joy.gif(okay, he's two weeks old, but they aren't circ'ing, I'm sure partially because we didn't and I'm a little pushy; plus my BIL really respcects his brother's opinions, so that may have tipped the scales for new nephew). So, 100% of 5 on that side, and I'm pretty sure other BIL and his wife, should they have a son, would also leave him intact (they live in the Bay area, and now have 5 intact nephews ... circ'ing their son would actually put him in a minority in his own extended family and likely amongst his friends, too. Whew!)


Of our circle of friends, almost all are circ'd. irked.gif I don't know the reasons in every case, but I'd bet big money in the vast, vast majority, it was a desire for baby to "match" dad. Some are Jewish (at least culturally, if not religiously), so I assume their sons are circ'd. We have four other families that we know who have intact sons -- two of which I suspect I may have influenced slightly -- but that's it -- so far, but I haven't discussed this issue with many parents, so it may be more in reality than I assume.


So, our boys are in the minority amongst their friends, but the majority in their family; and I think that, over time, as we branch out into bigger/more diverse schools, they'll be less and less in the minority (our current non-religious private school, which is wonderful, does have a relatively high proportion of families of religions/cultures who circ (versus our city overall), at least right now.)


However, for the record, it wouldn't matter if my four boys were the only intact boys in America, I would *still* have left them intact! The "herd" mentality in parenting, IMHO, defies logic.

post #9 of 52

In our families, there are no intact boys. (I only have daughters for now...am pregnant so we'll see when it's born but we will NOT circ.) I have several friends whose boys are intact, though. In our homeschool support group there are some pretty hippy/crunchy families and they tend to leave body parts as they should be.

People in our families either do it because everyone else does it or they believe the myths about std's, infections and cancer. One mom in the family had had cancer during her pregnancy and I could understand her fears after she heard circ helps prevent cancer but everyone else I had my own bad thoughts about.

I do worry a bit about the things that will be said from my in-laws if I have a boy, my MIL had 5 sons and thinks not circ. is weird. Hopefully it just won't come up but I know it will!!

post #10 of 52

In dh's family, 4 of 6 adult men are intact, not including ds.  In my family, most are circ'ed except my dad and step-dad themselves. 


In a childbirth class I took in 2000, I was the only person of 8 couples who wanted to circ a boy (we had a girl).  I was still most influenced by my mother then, but it was very eye-opening to realize I was in the minority.  After a discussion online as well, I did more research on circ and I came to a point of realizing my mother's beliefs were outdated and unfounded. 


Sometime after ds was born (and left intact), we went swimming with a parenting group I was involved with then.  Out of about 15 kids (some were girls), there was 1 circumsized boy, all others were intact.  We were changing our kids into their swimsuits when the mom of the circ'ed boy commented that she had him circ'ed so he would fit in with other boys and not be teased in a locker room.  This swim party was the first time she realized that she created this situation by circ'ing him - he was the only boy there who wasn't intact. :(


We are in Arizona.

post #11 of 52

I honestly have no idea.  I know that my brothers are intact (adopted form Korea as babies, and my mom didn't want them to go under general anesthesia - so she just didn't!), and my ds is intact.  My mom told me to leave my baby intact if it was a boy, AFTER we had decided that we weren't going to!  Up until then, I had no idea about my brothers.

post #12 of 52

I just had this conversation with my mother.  My parents left my brother (25) intact, which interestingly, I never noticed growing up.  My husband and I are expecting our first baby this summer, we are not finding out the sex but discussed circumcision and we both want our baby to stay intact.

In our close circle of friends I would say 5 of 7 of the little boys under 4 are circumcised. 

post #13 of 52

I don't know about my circle of friends, but my current circle are almost all people I met through MDC and/or the local homeschooling community. I'd guess their boys all, or almost all, intact.


Both my sons are intact. All five of my nephews on my side (ie. my brother's and sister's kids) are intact. I don't know about my ex-SIL's son, as I never thought to ask, and never saw him without his diaper (he's 21). My brother is also intact. I have no idea about my uncle or my cousins, but I know my mom was horrified and disgusted by the whole idea when my brother was born, and refused to sign the consent form. He was the only baby on the ward who breastfed, and the only boy who was left intact. (It was 1963, and he was born by c-section. I believe they were in the hospital for 10 days. I'm soooo proud of my mom for sticking to her guns!)

post #14 of 52

On my side my younger son is the only boy intact, besides my Grandfather (who is still alive).  All my male cousins are circ'ed and my sons don't have any male cousins on my side.  I regret to say my older son is circ'ed.


On my DH's side, all the brothers and their boys are circ'ed.


My sister is currently pregnant, due 4/15 and I'm hoping if its a boy she does not circ.  I haven't spoken with her yet, but plan to soon. 

post #15 of 52
Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow View Post

what is the percentage of intact to circumcised boys? And why do you think that is the breakdown?

There are a total of 21 grandchildren on my dh's side. 3(my three) out of 19 total boys are intact boys. On my parents side there are 4/4 that are intact. I tihnk this is due to the fact that my mom was a maternity nurse and was appalled by circ. So what's your family's story?

I assume this means she educated you on the issue.  When did she first talk to you about it?  Was it difficult to convince your dh to leave the kids intact?



post #16 of 52

I am an only child with very few cousins or family with wee ones, but I can say that among my circle of friends, I only know one circumcised boy.

post #17 of 52

My DS is the only grandson on both sides of our family, and he is intact.  My brother's wife is pregnant with a girl, but she was very clear if it was a boy she would circ because my brother is circ'd :(  My grandfather is intact, but circ'd his sons and when my DS was born my grandmother told my mom she hoped we circ'd him because that is what they believe in.  It is hard but I am 1,000% confident in our decision.  My closest friend's sons are circ'd.  In fact, I don't know anyone IRL that is intact (other than my DS).  It is so sad.

post #18 of 52

On my side of the family, my son is the first intact male that I know of, and we "pay" dearly. They think it's "dirty" and "weird". When they found out the baby that's on his way is a boy, they were shocked and disturbed that we weren't going to circumcise him either. When DS had an infection earlier this year and my (ignorant) pediatrician was pushing circ, I didn't even tell my mom (who I pretty much tell everything to) because I didn't want to deal with it!


On DH's side of the family, my 7 year old nephew is intact, but only because he was a NICU baby and a sick infant/toddler and couldn't get surgery scheduled for when he wasn't sick. By the time he was able to get a surgery scheduled, I talked MIL (his primary caregiver) into keeping him intact.


As far as my "circle", I really only talk to moms at church. All but one of the little boys (under 4... the rest I really don't know about) at church are intact, and the one who is circ'd isn't there all the time. His mom doesn't seem to like being around the rest of us. Keeps to herself.

post #19 of 52

mine will be the first male cousin on either side of the family, and I have no idea about all my cousins' sons (though I assume circ for most). DF is intact, so if he had any nephews I think they might be left intact. I'm waiting until my sister finds out if she's having a boy before bringing it up (she finds out next week), but I think she'll lean toward not circing (she tends to lean more toward natural parenting). among the friends who were're close enough to that I know, all are circed, but that's a pretty small sample size. 

post #20 of 52

We will not circumcise our son. I know my nephew is circ'd (only boy on my side) and this baby I am pregnant with the first grandson on DH's side, so who knows what will happen there. I expect we'll get some pretty negative reactions from my family when they find out and DH's family is pretty opinionated so if they are against leaving him intact, I expect to hear about how bad our decision is (DH is circ'd.) I know my sister thinks it's wrong not to circ and my mom probably agrees so I am not discussing it with either of them. I was talking to a big group of friends about it a few months ago and was surprised that not one of their sons is intact, so I expect he'll be the only boy I know not circ'd. I'm only sad that I've gotten a few negative comments about our choice from friends. I have no desire to educate anyone or discus it at length, I was just hoping folks would either accept it or not care enough to comment negatively.

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