Sudden sock and underwear issues with my almost 5 yr old driving me batty! Help!

[Carolyn R]

Our dd, who will turn five in a few weeks, is suddenly having major sensory issues with her clothing. It started with her socks. They were the same ones she's been wearing forever, and all of a sudden, she says they're lumpy. And cries. And thrashes. Won't put them on. We've tried several different kinds, and same deal.

Then one day, she added underwear to the list. Despite obviously fitting her fine, she screams that they are sticking to her (I think she means in the back because she yanks on them) She's become obsessive about wiping after pottying, saying she still feels "wet". Even with me helping her wipe, asking her "Are you dry now?" "Yes" she replies, and then freaks out once we pull her underwear up. "They're still wet!!!!!!!!!!" It took about four underwear changes this morning.

There's been other issues also. The way the inside of her boots feel. The way her jammies slide up when she's in bed.

What concerns me is that it all seems very sudden. Like two weeks ago this was non-existent and now suddenly getting dressed in the morning has turned into a huge crazy battle that leaves her frustrated and crying and me feeling about the same way! It seems to be worse in the morning and at bedtime, but even her teacher at school has commented on the sock thing being a sudden issue. She used to be able to get dressed by herself in the morning if I laid her clothes out, but now I will check on her only to find her sitting on the floor in her closet crying because something isn't right with her socks or underwear.

At first I tried to downplay it and just give her the power to choose, for example "Honey, that's fine if your socks are bothering you. Just grab a different style out of your drawer." or "Here's a soft cloth. Just wipe your butt again and throw a new pair of undies on." But it's so beyond a simple solution. She seems crippled by her anxiety and can't choose. It almost reminds me of an OCD tendency where she can't get it "just right."

Any advice? Is this a common phase? Normal for it to come on so quickly? Do I call her ped? Wait it out?

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Carolyn R 

Any advice? Is this a common phase? Normal for it to come on so quickly? Do I call her ped? Wait it out?

We all have sensory issues.  I have lots of them.  I can't stand to hear someone chew gum... I mean, where were these people's parents... why didn't their parents teach them to chew gum with their mouth closed?   I also hate lace.  I hate how it feels, I would never sit on a couch pillow with lace.  I touch all potential new clothes.  I have even vetoed shirts for my husband because they weren't soft enough.  

Socks are a HUGE hot button issue for kids.  My daughter would have meltdowns right before school because her socks weren't right.  When she found a brand of socks she liked, I bought them all.  She hated fruit of the loom underwear because they were "too tight".  She had maaaaaybe two pairs of jeans she liked because "they choked her knees".  The man at the children's shoe store dreaded shoe day for her, because she was so hard to please.  "I can feel the bottom!!!"  Sandals were her best friend.

She was a dancer, so the tights and costumes during the recitals and pictures were NOT fun.  She had to suck it up for those two occasions, but she made the first 30 minutes miserable for me.

We are all quirky to some point.  But, five year olds are just more annoying about it.  It doesn't actually get a whole lot better, you guys just learn what she likes, and doesn't like, and you stop buying the offending socks and panties.  

[meemee]

yes i think its not unusual. not very common as it goes the other way. 

5 is the age they kinda lose their sensitivity. so i cant see why it cant start. 

phase? i am not sure. maybe not. 

dd has socks issues. its the seam. it makes it lumpy in the shoes. so seamless socks?

how about a size larger for underwear? and check the material. i know some underwears feel cold to the touch than others. dd when younger prefered boys underwear as they fit better than the girls. 

when you have a 'crippled by an anxiety' situation i would brainstorm trying to fix the clothes and stuff causing the problem. 

the reason why its so crippling is because it actually causes pain and physical discomfort. i wonder if that's the reason why some manufacturers have done away with sewing lables on the clothes around the neck and just printing the info directly on the shirt.  

since her issues are related to just socks and underwear i'd try different makes to see if they would help for her. 

[LynnS6]

You might try going up a size in undies, just in case.

Another thought is whether she has any environmental allergies. My son's sensory stuff really acts up in the spring/summer when I think his allergies bother him. It's almost like he's OK for the sensory stuff until the allergies hit, and then that tips him over the edge. I'm going to get his allergies treated this year (up to now, I've not worried, because I didn't notice it that much. It's only recently that I've put the allergies+sensory stuff together.)

Look too at sleep and any foods she's been eating.

There's a good book called "Freeing your child from anxiety" by Tamar Chansky. (She's got a couple of other ones -- freeing your child from OCD, etc.). I'm not saying that your daughter has full-blown anxiety/OCD, but the book(s) might give you some good strategies for dealing with her flipping out over these things.

[fritz]

Have you tried turning the socks inside-out?  That way the seam's not rubbing against her feet....  How about the undies inside-out (although it probably won't help w/ any wet feeling)?  That's how I wear mine, but it's b/c the seams/thread/elastic actually make my skin itch...and that's something I noticed over the past year--never had that problem before.

Yes, it is possible to develop new "issues" rather spontaneously, but definitely see if you can figure out if there's been a recent change in her diet, or if it's linked to allergies, as a PP suggested.  Over the past week my spring allergies have already started up (although mine don't affect anything other than my eyes and nose).

If her issues with the clothing persist, look into contacting an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration.  There are certain things you can do to try to help her system process input more normally.  Calling your pediatrician can't hurt, and if your insurance requires a referral to see an OT, then it's a necessary step.

[Tjej]

Try getting bigger socks and underwear and see if that fixes the problem. 

Is there any other stressor that is new in her life?  Sometimes one thing will just make a person more anxious/stressed, so it spills over into other totally unrelated things (like clothes). 

HTH

Tjej

[Carolyn R]

Originally Posted by Tjej 

Is there any other stressor that is new in her life?  Sometimes one thing will just make a person more anxious/stressed, so it spills over into other totally unrelated things (like clothes). 

HTH

Tjej

Thanks everyone who has replied...I've been checking back here all day to read the responses. Tjej's post made me realize that although I didn't immediately make a connection, we did move into a different house about two months ago. Dd seemed to transition fine, and we only moved across town, so her school and everything else has stayed the same. Dd has been really excited (we now live in the same neighborhood as her cousin and grandparents), but also much clingier, not wanting me to leave the room at night until she goes to sleep, etc. I wonder if she could be having some sort of 'delayed reaction' to the move, and anxiety to settling into a new routine and environment.

Again, thanks to all and I look forward to continued responses and ideas.
 

[kerry17]

Hi all I'm so glad its not just me. My 4 year old just started this sock and underwear thing . Also the same thing about being wet and she isn't.Not sure what to do .I know that She started preschool and does not like going and  this is when it started . I thought she was just procrastinating throwing a  fit every morning about the socks and underwear so she wouldn't have to go to school .I have not been making her wear socks but winter is here and it getting cold . The underwear is my main concern because she is constantly annoyed by them and picking at herself. Does anyone know if the seamless socks and underwear work .

[JudiAU]

You might check out the underwear from Hanna Anderson. Very comfortable. I wish they made them for adults. =)

[AAK]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

You might check out the underwear from Hanna Anderson. Very comfortable. I wish they made them for adults. =)

I second Hanna Anderson undies.  It is all we buy anymore.  They are a bit pricey, but their sizes are awesome.  My kids will actually get many years out of the mediums.  (my 5 yr old just moved up to mediums and my 9 year old is still wearing mediums--actually so is my 11 year old, but she never has had a bottom)  

About socks, ugh we have had that battle.  I finally found socks that everyone liked and (bought a ton) now they don't have them anymore.  The last year was terrible.  We can't have socks that have prints because of the strings inside the socks.  Athletic socks are often too thick and will bunch at the toes.  Seams can be bad too.  However, I wouldn't worry too much about the socks.  Let her go without.  Eventually, the discomfort of cold toes will outweigh the discomfort with the socks. 

Amy

[Imakcerka]

We had the sock issue. LUMPS!  that's a huge problem.  Underwear generally aren't a problem but they like the boy shorts the other ones do bother them.  My sister used to make my mom buy her underwear that covered her belly it's was pretty cute.  They were practically under her armpits!

[pianojazzgirl]

Oooo yes!  "My socks are... TWISTY WISTY!!!!!"  A constant refrain from dd at that age. 

She too went through a phase of undies not being comfy, and that "still feeling wet" thing (actually she still does sometimes go back for more wiping after leaving the bathroom).

All in all this phase is long past.  I really do think there was an age when all these sensory annoyances really peaked for her.

[pporow]

I am having the same trouble with my almost 6 year old.  Out of the blue she can't wear any socks or underwear at all.  She has always been particular about the seams but we could always find a brand or pair that worked.  Now she has them on for 2 seconds and begins screaming they don't feel good.  It's awful, all day long.  Just wondering if your daughter grew out of it?  Or you found underwear that she liked?  Thanks.

Heather

[umgeek]

I too have sensory issues...so do my children. If my socks aren't perfect (to me) it feels like being stabbed with a nail. It's awful. My own experience allowed me to be more charitable when my children expressed similar issues. Socks, tags in clothing, shoes, food textures, and so on. I found a book a few years back called, Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight; it's filled with information about what is termed 'Sensory Integration Disorder' and how to find ways to make life manageable despite having sensory issues. HTH. =)