Hi everyone! I was hoping I could get some advice. Sorry if I'm asking questions that have been on here in 100 different ways...
My dsd (13) moved in with me in December. She's been with her dad full-time since she was 7. Her mom was on drugs and in and out of jail until last August. Since then, she's been in a strict rehab center and will be for a year. Dsd had a pretty tough life until she went to live with her dad. Mom was pretty much on drugs her whole life. She hasn't seen her mom in years. Anyway, dad works out of state and is home with us on weekends. I have two girls from my previous marriage (8 and 6) and am pregnant with our baby. So, my issues:
1. Dsd is awesome. She is kind, so well behaved and respectful, just a dream 13 yr old. I honestly can't believe it. My theory is she is more appreciative than most kids because of what she's been through...) She loves my dds, is super excited about the baby, helps around the house, etc. But I am afraid I am not making her feel like she fits in enough. It's only been a few months. I tend to be pretty reserved and have trouble being comfortable/ open with people. She is the same way. So there is still a lot of awkwardness. Like, she still asks if she can take a shower, and I'm brainstorming conversation starters.
I have no clue how to be very "maternal" with her... she seems so mature, but I know 13 is still very young. I try to show her that I care by helping her decorate her room, making sure she has everything she needs for school/ clothes/ etc, and getting her little surprises on occasion. But I know she needs more than that. Does anyone get where I am coming from? I don't want her to feel left out... I am so used to interacting with my dds... this is so different.
2. Her mom recently started calling once every week or two. I have really negative feelings toward this woman, and I don't even know why! I *know* that's the only mom she'll ever have and that I need to support that relationship. I do. But I think she is an awful person and I feel jealous. Why!? What can I do to control this? (I never, ever let this show, btw.)
Whew... this is long. Sorry! Thanks for reading.