Inappropriate behaviors

[makeitmommy]

My 4 year old ds was diagnosed with mild autism at the age of 2. Since then he has made huge progress with the help of intervention therapy and preschool. Now some days it is difficult to even remember that he is special needs, except when he has an anxiety episode, or when he is having a hard time understanding (mostly issues that are not black and white, such as word usage and such). Recently he has potty trained, and since then he has started some very inappropriate behaviors that he thinks are funny. He will pull his pants down to show his penis to people, mainly guests in out house, especially other children who may come over to play. No matter what I have said to him about it he still is doing this occasionally. I tell anyone around at the time to please not laugh (one of my friends was hysterical laughing about it and I think that encouraged it only more) and to try to communicate that the behavior is not desirable to him just as I do... hoping that a group effort will help him to understand that no one likes the behavior. He has also started pretending to pee on things, or his older sister who gets really upset about it. This morning he did it and she came to me asking me to make him stop. When I approach him to talk to him about the behaviors he is most difficult to make eye contact with (other times when we communicate it is not an issue anymore) and usually gets very hyper and runs off only to repeat the behaviors over and over again. Because his condition is so mild I sometimes forget that he needs special treatment, but in this case I know that something absolutely needs to be done so that he does not start doing these things in public. Like all kids he thinks that burps and fart noises are funny and he will make them over and over again sometimes even when I explain that it is rude and ask him to please stop. Does anyone else have experience dealing with these types of behaviors and have any advice that may help me teach him what is or is not appropriate?

Btw, I am also a single mother so it is very difficult for me to watch over him constantly looking for these behaviors to start. Usually they are directed towards his older sister who is 7. She tells him no and that it's not ok too but it only makes him want to do it more- typical of a sibling relationship. His father only sees him every other week and he has a hard time sticking to routine and remembering how to relate and react to ds so he has not been much help is teaching ds... I feel like I am outnumbered with two children and all of the stress of having to do it myself is making it that much more difficult for me to think before speaking or reacting myself. Sometimes when ds is behaving that way I will get upset with him before I can remind myself that he needs to be handled differently and I'm afraid it has only made the problem worse somehow... :sigh

[*LoveBugMama*]

Oooh, that sounds like a tough situation!

I don`t have any personal experience with this, but have heard that creating social-stories can be of good help. Could that be an option? Maybe make a story about a child doing something similar, and that it made peple around him annoyed/hurt/feel that he didn`t respect them etc?

I really hope you get some good answers from mamas who have BTDT. :)

[makeitmommy]

Thank you for replying! I did some googling and found this page.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/autismaspergerspdd-awareness/Inappropriate-Behavior-214484

The suggestions here, along with your suggestion helped a bit this afternoon. When my son came home from school and went to the potty we had a social story about his sister and I, and whether or not we show our private areas to people or pretend to pee on them, and how it would make him feel if I did that. He laughed and said noooooo in his cute and sweet voice, which usually means to me that he has made the connection to the act and the idea that it is not meant to be done. Only time and repetition will tell, but I even go him to repeat it back to me which usually means that he understands. If he does not want to repeat the words back to me then it is usually a sign that he will not accept my explanation and I have to keep trying... He is a very smart boy, he can already read and is starting to ask about math. It is the behaviors that are the biggest concern. Sometimes he is so sweet and sensitive and other times he can be very hyper and almost crude. It can be frustrating when he is in the latter mode... 

[Serenity Now]

I can't offer any solutions for you. My son is 6 now, with autism, and he does the exact same thing. He's been doing it for years. We haven't been able to get him to stop, so I don't know what to tell you. When he was younger he would pull his penis out and point it at people when he got angry. Once he was verbal, he would say "I'm pointing my winkie at you!" when he was mad, and he'd pull it out (I don't know why he calls it a winkie, BTW, we always call it a penis). Now he pretends to poop and pee on people, and will hold down his big sister and pull his penis out. We've been trying to extinguish these behaviors for years, and nothing works. Now he knows it is unacceptable, so he just hides it from us. He doesn't do it at school, or in front of his father, and I only know about it because I've caught him at it. My oldest was hiding it from me because she was embarrassed.

I wish I had some tips. We've tried it all, social stories, clothes he can't take off, rewarding him when he doesn't do it, ignoring it, etc etc. Reading your post made me feel better, though, because I have not heard of another kid with autism who does this! I've talked to therapists and doctors and they all say they've never heard of it before. Whew! I feel better. I'm sorry I can't help you, but you have been a great help to me. Your son doesn't hurt animals and children, while laughing, by any chance? I think after the penis stuff, enjoying harming small things is my #2 worry about my son.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by Serenity Now 

I wish I had some tips. We've tried it all, social stories, clothes he can't take off, rewarding him when he doesn't do it, ignoring it, etc etc. Reading your post made me feel better, though, because I have not heard of another kid with autism who does this! I've talked to therapists and doctors and they all say they've never heard of it before. Whew! I feel better. I'm sorry I can't help you, but you have been a great help to me. Your son doesn't hurt animals and children, while laughing, by any chance? I think after the penis stuff, enjoying harming small things is my #2 worry about my son.

Perhaps it isn't related to the Autism, but ADHD? The two conditions frequently are comorbid.
 

Edited by Emmeline II - 3/9/11 at 8:33am

[makeitmommy]

Glad to know I'm not alone here. As far as my son hurting animals and other children, aside from the sibling interactions of occasional pushing and hitting his sister (which she does back to him when I'm not looking so I think he learned that more from her) but he has never approached another child in that way. We do have a cat and a dog, he used to torture the cat until he got scratched one too many times and finally stopped. He really loves dogs and tries to play with them and crawls all over our dog, sometimes to the point where I have to remove her from the room. She is old and does not like it all the time. He is not mean to her, although he did used to pull her tail, which she never responded to, but I was very consistent in teaching him that was not ok and it hasn't happened in a long time. Now when he is in a mood and either of the animals comes near him he will yell at them to go away, and ask me to put them in my room. Maybe he knows that there will be a consequence if he acts on his desires?

I talked to my son's OT yesterday about the behaviors while she was here. She said it does not sound like they are related to a sensory issue, but more of a behavioral problem. She is going to look more into possible solutions for me, so if anything comes up we have not discussed on here I will be sure to share!