Sleep Bootcamers! Week 3 - check in!

[whozeyermamma]

Ok, mamas! I decided to start a new thread for us. Contentmama? Expat? Any better? Jessepumpkin? Still good? All you other ladies - how is it going?? 

Well, I bit the bullet last week and started the "put him down in the crib sleepy but not in a milk coma." I'm also now sleeping in another room - (loooong story on how we got here, but he is a terrible cosleeper so he was sleeping alone in the center of the bed and I was scootched all the way at the end of the bed. DH sleeps on the couch b/c he snores and likes to watch late night movies or sleeps with DD.)

Anyway... so now I'm on a bed in the babies room and he's in the crib in the grownup bedroom, which is quieter from the rest of the house. Sooooo ... Mixed results. I have to say that being in another room helps him go longer - I often get from 7:30 am to midnight!!!! But the frequency of his wakings after that are not changing. Oh - and I've given up on the pantly pull out thing - I'm letting him sleep with his binky.

Putting him down sleepy but not asleep - it sometimes takes 4 -5 times to do it. And often at 3 am I just fall asleep nursing. At some point, I hope to get to the next Pantley stage of being able to just go in and sooth him without having to nurse him. Also - plan to get DH to go in for a waking or two if it's only been 1 hr between feedings.

Anyway ... hope to hear some good news!!!!

[asberck]

I followed the other thread closely but never posted.  After last night, also know as the worst night ever, I'm compelled to share.  

Getting my DS on a schedule has been completely hard.  Between everyone getting the flu, running a new cafe (don't open a cafe when you have a baby, it's just dumb), and everything else, we were doing well to have baby down by 10:30 or 11.  He also fights sleep so much time between 8 and 10 was spent walking, patting, rocking, nursing, and everything else.  Anyway, I had enough about a month ago and started trying to move up bedtime, get an actual routine and stick to it even when everyone was exhausted and overwhelmed. It has taken a month to even begin to establish a routine but I used to teach 1st grade so I know that routines take 6 weeks to get going.  6 WEEKS!  So it is only week 3 and if you are still trucking along with this then you are halfway there to (hopefully) establishing routine of peaceful sleep and ease in getting to sleep.

So this week, we've been having bedtime at 7.  We start at 6 with bath (with a drop of lavender), lotion/massage, book, bottle.  Monday was ok.  But now DS is teething.  So my burning question is:  HOW do you keep any sort of routine when teething is happening?  DS actually slept from 7 pm-12 am (which we consider a great success) but was up from 12 am to 5 am off and on.  He would go to sleep, sleep for twenty or thirty minutes and then wake up shrieking.  I'm trying sooo hard not to use tylenol if I can soothe him in any other way.  Other nights we thought maybe gripe water was helping.  But last night was horrible.  Everyone was crying by the time it was over.  DH said he'd never been more frustrated with the baby so then we were all feeling guilty.  

Sending positive thoughts of happy, sleeping babies to all who are just trying to get some rest. 

[slgt]

I'm new to this thread - is it for those of us who are struggling with sleep-related stuff? If so, sign me up! DD is almost 8 months. She's teething, she has also, in the past month or so, started crawling, sitting up (getting to-and-from, too), and just today started trying to climb up stairs and pull herself up.

I moved her into a crib in our room - had to for safety b/c she's so mobile & active. But I also hoped it would help her sleep better. But I'm terrible about putting her back in the crib when she wakes up during the night because I'm so tired! She sleeps well from about 6:30-10:30, and I might get one more stretch of about 2 hours, but then she's very restless and waking every time she bumps into me - so every 40 minutes or so. If I get up and rock her, it takes her 45 minutes to fall back asleep.

What should I do? Wait it out? Hope that the restlessness is just teething & all of the developmental stuff? Or do I - gulp - try to mama-up and start helping her figure out some kinder, gentler ways to actually sleep? Or is it hopeless???

[expat-mama]

Hey there.

Well, we reached rock bottom a few days ago then things started to look (slightly) up.

I MIGHT have figured out part of our problem- DS was eating too much food or maybe too much heavy food at dinner time before bed. He is eating some solids and pureed foods and I was giving him things like pureed lentils and chicken and chicken and pumpkin for dinner- he loves it and would eat a lot, maybe too much. I think he was having trouble digesting at night, or was just too full with that food and then breastfeeding before bed maybe. Anyway, I only give him those kinds of foods in the morning or for lunch and have had to cut him off at smaller amounts (it's hard to know how much to give him, because he will just eat and eat and eat!). So at dinner time he eats some finger fruits or vegees or pureed fruits or veggies. I also stopped giving him greek yogurt (which he LOVES :(  ) thinking that may be a problem too. But I dunno. Now that he is more settled in the early part of the night, I may try to reintroduce it and see if it makes a difference or not.

Anyway, so DS is now a bit more settled in the first part of the night- the last few evenings he has gone down around 7 pm and only woken up 2-3 times until about 11- he has been easy to put back down quickly those times, without nursing. Then at 11 I either give him a good long nurse or a bottle of EBM and bring him into bed with us if he seems unsettled or if he's really passed out put him in his crib next to our bed. He is still waking a few times (4-5) between 11 and 7am but it's SOOO much better than waking every 20 minutes and not going back down easily. So DH and I take turns putting him back down (I am nursing him back down when I do) and I take over around 4 am so DH gets a good stretch before he has to go to work. I'm fine nursing him back down 2 or 3 times a night- I think he must get thirsty as well as hungry. We live in a very dry climate and we keep glasses of water by our bedside at night because WE get thirsty, so I'm sure DS does too.

So we pretty much abandoned any pretensions of "boot camp" or our NCSS plan, but things have gotten better... or at least good enough for us at the moment.

DS has also moved from 3 naps to 2 naps during the day. The transition was weird and consisted of him refusing his morning nap for a few days then wanting one short early afternoon nap and one looong late afternoon nap. He's now settled into two naps of about 1-1.5 hrs long at around 9:30am and 2pm. I just follow his lead and look for signs of tiredness. He's also been napping by himself (YEY!) in his crib but I stay close by to pat him down because he does stir a bit and if I don't get to him in time he wakes and I have to nurse him back down again.

Anyway...things are RELATIVELY better for all of us. Not perfect. No STTN or anything like that, but we're content enough. I'm just happy to be feeling more rested and not so frustrated and guilty for feelings of anger at my DS when I'm so tired and beat down.

There you have it! Hope everyone else is getting to good place too. Whatever works is our new motto and I'm comfortable with that.

[whozeyermamma]

Hi all - took me a while to get back here!

asberck; I'd say if the teething is that bad, go with the ibuprofin. Gave some to my Ds tonight b/c he was jamming his thumb across his upper gums and wailing like crazy. Poor guy. I don't like to rely on meds a lot - but there are times when I think it's ok.

sigt; yes - it's a sleep strugglers thread! I made it b/c I wanted to try to take some steps toward better sleep and didn't want to do it alone. Your LO sounds a lot like mine! I do find that when I do get him into the crib he sleeps much better. I think a lot of it is developmental - mine too is crawling and pulling up and I know it's making him . I'm basically trying some of the "no cry sleep solution" ideas - but not as consistently as I should.

expat; I bet you're right - I bet all that digesting was keeping him up! Like you, a lot of the past few nights I've given up on the bootcamp or NCSS. "whatever works" is a good motto. I always joked that I went by the Malcolm X method of parenting; By any Means necessary.

Most nights I get him into bed sleepy but not asleep (ok, probably half-asleep) for the first stretch. He is sleeping longer bc I'm in another room now. But the midnight to waking is still, often a disaster. Like up fussing and crying from 11 pm to 1 am. or 3 am to 4:30 am. I have learned that if I can get thru that rough patch and get him back into the crib, he's more likely to do a good 2 hr stretch afterward. Of course, if he's up at like 5, then the only hope is for me to hold him cradled and hope at least HE sleeps till 6.

Like you expat - I'm kind of taking a break from it.

I don't expect him to nightwean yet - but I would love to get the wakings down to, say 2 or 3 a night and that after he nurses he goes back to sleep. I wouldn't mind bedsharing with him, but when I try to just lay with him, he won't sleep at all and starts to cry and fuss. I have to nurse him, rock him with the binky into a coma and then put him down in the crib. Only way he'll sleep.

Anyhoo - anyone else from the original thread? Anyone else want to join? What are your goals?

[jesepumpkin]

hi ladies!!

sorry to be missing, lots of drama at my place. my cat went missing for a week and then found his way home. i am certain that he was stuck in a shed/garage for a week. i was a wreck and the week was such a nightmare. anyways...back to sleep:

well, the one night she slept through 6 hours after night weaning was a one time deal. then she was up at 2or3ish for the next few nights but soothed back to sleep. THEN i put her in her sisters room and it went downhill. the same night the cat went missing. they both woke each other up all night, if one stirred, the other was up. ugh it was a bad night. the 3 year old is better already at sleeping through it. also, macy was starting a growth spurt and ate 3 huge meals and so much milk for those few days, all of a sudden could reach off the coffee table after that. so that night i started a night feed again and i'm still doing it. all week ive been so depressed, no 'fight' left in me to care about struggling to night wean. but now i've got my cat back and am feeling so happy.

so now it is:

10:30/11 dream feed, but a true one as she actually sleeps until i stir her!

2:30 wake and feed

5 or 6 or 7 wake. if early i feed her and she goes back to sleep until 7.

i am still VERY happy with this but i am starting over again working towards night weaning. decreasing the time/amount of the feed and trying to use only the 'least favorite' breast. 

i set a back to work date of May 4th so i am enjoying the slow but steady return of brain function that sleep has been bringing. 

we had also dropped from 3 to 2 naps for good, and it's great!

sounds like things are looking up for you all. 

whozeyermamma: i think it is a good step to be in another room, give ds a few more minutes to try and settle. 

expat: i think when we dropped the third nap then the night waking improved. so hope it keeps getting better.

keep up the struggle mamas!