Originally Posted by jenniferadurham
My biggest point to the story I guess is that she ISN'T ready for a bra. She has the tinyest little hump, if you can even call it that. It literally looks like a swollen ant bite. That is my frustration...it was bought without it needing to be bought. We don't let our children grow up faster than they need to...bras, makeup in public, adult music, boyfriends, etc. She's not even nine yet, and she needs to be a KID. And just bc she asks for something doesn't mean she should to get it. Same thing with candy and kids...just bc they want it, does it mean that we need to buy it for them?
...I respect her privacy and her wants/needs...when they are valid.
I feel completely differently on this topic than you do. One of my DDs needed a bra rather young, and one didn't. The one that didn't need a bra wanted a bra, and therefore got a bra. I only say no to my kids if I have a REALLY good reason, and *to me* there isn't a good reason to say no to what sort of underwear my child wants to wear. And the whole thing that you are checking her every three days to see if she needs a bra sounds really, really weird to me. I can't picture that. Are you actually looking at her naked nipples? Did you tell her that her breasts look like ants bits?
And saying that you can't have what you want until you have bigger boobs is just messed up. Some women never really get breasts. Nothing in life should be tied to the size of one's boobs.
I think you are the one creating the drama. Your DD wanted a bra, you wouldn't get one for her, and now she has one. Making an even bigger deal of it isn't going to help the situation.
<<..I respect her privacy and her wants/needs...when they are valid.>>
You gotta pick one. either you respect her privacy OR you decide when it's valid. You don't get to do both. It just doesn't work. Right you, you are creating a lot of drama with your DD. Leave grandma out of it. Take her shopping and let her try on lots of different styles, and let her find what she likes. Then buy it. Then take her someplace that is fun for her, like Starbucks and just chat. Building your relationship with your DD. And DONT go into the dressing room with her!!!! let her just try some on and see for herself what she looks like in them and let her make her own choices.
(BTW, as the mom of 2 teen girls, I've bought so many bras that I don't see bra shopping as all that interesting. You may have lots of issues with grandma, but cut her some slack on this one.)
Originally Posted by karne
I fear that this issue has little to do with your dd, and a lot more to do with power and control issues of the adults in her life.