WOHM to 3 or more. Can it be done??

[fnpmama]

I have a 2 and 3 y/o (well almost 2 &3, birthdays are in April - they are 12 months apart)  We want to add to our family, but I will have to continue to work at least part time 24 hours/wk+ for the next 1 -2 years while DH finishes his PhD and finds work.  In an ideal world we would wait until he has a job and DS1 is in school to have more, but that may be too long interms of my age. So we are thinking about TTC sooner than that. 

I have some friends who are WOHM of 2, but don't know any of 3 or more.  Can it be done?  How do those who have 3 manage child care for that many if they are not in elementary school yet?

Any advice or experiences greatly appreciated.

[HollyBearsMom]

I had woman who worked for me that has 4 and one on the way.  She WOH 30 hours a week and switching to FT (40+).   Her oldest is in first grade till 3 each day, the next is in K till noon, the 2 youngest are still at home. Her MIL fills in 2 day a week, she works from home 2 day a week and she has a part time sitter for the rest. Her MIL and/or sitter will pick up an extra day when she goes FT

In my industry is is very common to see moms of many working. At the executive level they either have live in nanny's or the husband is the SAHP. Middle MGT and below its combination of live out nanny's and after school/preschool programs. 

My mom WOH and I am the youngest of 5. You do what you gotta do.

 

Once you get to 3 or more it usually a better "value" to have a nanny. The cost per child is more reasonable or is at least comparable to a day care but you get the benefit of the kids being on their own schedule, no packing bags, making lunches, etc. Most nanny's are responsible for the child's laundry, keeping the kids rooms/play areas clean and neat which is a huge bonus and time saver to a WOHP.  If you negotiate upfront many will do the households laundry, will make meals, and do light housekeeping, another huge benefit.

[Skippy918]

My friend is a WOHM and has 4 kids (6, 4, 2.5, 1).  Her DH is the stay at home parent but he also has his own business.  They have a nanny/housekeeper that comes for a few hours a week to help out if her DH has calls or meetings.  Her two oldest are in school and the two younger ones are home.  If her hubby was also WOH, they probably wouldn't have had 4 kids because of daycare costs.

[heathenmom]

I WOH and we're expecting our 3rd in June.  The oldest is in 1st grade; stb-middle child will start pre-K in August.  We have insanely cheap and fabulous daycare, plus my parents live next door and my mom will probably keep the baby for the 1st 6 months or so.  By the time he starts daycare, the 2 girls will both be in school.  During the school year they'll catch the bus at daycare (spending less than 30 minutes there in the AM) and get off the bus there in the afternoon (will be there about 3 hours or so in the PM).

If we were paying market price for daycare, there'd be no way to manage it at all.

TBH, I'm still freaking out a little bit about the new addition.  He was very much wanted and planned-for, but my mornings and evenings are soooo frantic already.  I'm having trouble imagining how in the world I'll find time to take care of a baby on top of my already too-full schedule.   I don't know anybody IRL who does it either ... all of my friends with more than 2 little kids are SAHMs.

[fnpmama]

Thanks for replies mamas.

I am hoping we can figure some way to make it work.  Unfortunately all grandparents are several states away, so we are on our own in that respect.  I think a part time nanny would probably be the way to go, but after getting burned by a difficult nanny situation last year I am kind of scared of the process.   But 3 in daycare would cost a a fortune in our area (We currently pay 2.5K/mth for 2 fulltime and that is one of the less expensive ones. ) and I  can't imagine the drop off routine??!!

[sarahwpen]

I have been trying to figure out how to go back to work (realtor) since my 3rd was born. I was just about to when we found out #4 was on the way, so i held off for a while. She is 18 m now though, and I really want to have some time and space to do my own thing again, but i feel terrible about it. I don't want to start any WOH vs. SAHM/WAHM wars here, but I really can't bring myself to do it. I guess my whole upbringing and lifestyle would have to change so drasticaly that I feel it would be asking an awful lot of my family to change just for me at this point. 

[MamaChicken]

I work full time as an engineer and have 4 kids. DS1 is in middle school, DD is almost four, and the twins DS3 & DS4 are two. DH just finished a two year paramedic school that had him working or in school EVERY day of the week. We hired a nanny for so many reasons and it has been a godsend. It is also cheaper than a decent daycare.

Definitely doable, but it requires a lot of sacrifices.

[bluebunny]

I'm unexpectedly pregnant with our fourth.  Our other three are six, four, and one.  I work part-time (20 hours per week).  I have no idea how we're going to make it work with four.  I'm thinking that we should nanny-share or get a nanny/sitter.  

[Momsteader]

I used to do daycare for a mama with 4 and she WOHM full-time and another time a mama with 3. A home daycare would be cheaper than a center if you could find one you're comfy with. Or a nanny is a good bet as well. And, your kiddos get to stay at 'home' with a nanny which is another big intangible plus for them. And, a big plus for you! You don't have to get 3 or 4 kiddos ready and out the door. You're the one going, and the nanny arrives!

[34me]

When I had ds2 my other two were 4 and 2. At one point they were at three different day cares because that's what they needed as individuals. It wasn't easy when they were little but I figure it was getting me ready for the three years they spent in three different schools. If I had to do it over I would probably hire a live out nanny.