Any ideas of what could be going on with my baby's recent behaviour?

[Snapdragon]

He is my first so I have no comparison.  He will be one in a little over a week. I have to say that for the most part he so far has been a really sweet and mostly happy baby, thank goodness! He smiles a lot, is quite calm, etcetera.  I mean, he has always had difficult times, but his norm has been pretty happy.  Even when he got his first four teeth, he was upset when he was in pain, but we gave him some tylenol and it seemed to do the trick. But lately- total different story!! argh.

so I was sick for 3 weeks, and he was sick for 2. We both had this nasty cough and chest cold thing. So understandably this put him in a bad mood a lot for that time period. I was also not feeling well so everything was just more difficult. We have both been better for about 2 or three days- totally better thank goodness. Right now he had two new teeth coming through the bottom , and two on the top almost coming through. So I understand he is likely having pain from those.  I try not to over use pain meds, but when I can see the teeth pushing through and he is screaming a lot, I will give him some pain meds.

okay- so on to the behaviour. he has been screaming much of the night for the last two nights. And in the day he seems angry a lot. He hits at me. He freaks out every time I change his clothes or diaper. He throws mini tantrums all day long! then we go out, and he is pretty cheerful, not his total usual smily self, but decent. he also has periods during the day when he is relatively happy- but generally, I put him down and walk away for two seconds and he freaks out.  I finish feeding him a meal (when he has had plenty ) and he freaks out. He wakes up rested from a good nap, he immediately cries. basically he just is so angry and freaking out all the time- for the last three days- but also somewhat for the last two weeks when he was sick.

Is this teething? oh also he is now very willful- but in a grumpy way- always pushing things away, I hand him a toy and he throws it angrily on the ground. what is going on?!!! I feel like he must  be in physical pain. There is nothing going on at home different than usual, and he seriously has mostly been quite a cheerful guy.

dh and I are going nuts! he is not fun to be around right now at all!!

Also he wants his paci constantly- which is probably related to mouth pain from teething.

so any advice on how to deal with this? Is this a normal stage? how can I get my cheerful baby back?

just to re- emphasize- this is totally not usual behaviour for him.

[Mosaic]

My first guess would be separation anxiety. It's pretty common for that to lead to some rough nights, and rough nights make for crabby days. Plus, it's possible he's still not feeling up to 100%, and I wonder if maybe he's hungry? I would recommend just lots of together time, babywearing if possible and if he likes it, really trying to pay close attention to his cues and keeping track of his sleep and feeding schedules to see if you can find more of a pattern to it. Make sure there are no new foods you have introduced recently, and keep an eye on his diapers to make sure he's not constipated, rashy, or otherwise uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, I think it's also common to just have a rough patch. I remember my first DD seemed to become really high maintenance just before she learned a new skill or achieved a big milestone. Fortunately, these patches don't tend to last very long. Good luck!

[Snapdragon]

I just remembered one more circumstance which may be related- I remember the first time I noticed this behaviour.  It was this past weekend- we left him with dh's mom for an hour, his first time alone with her. She lives about  6 minutes away from us - in the same town. ds doesn't really know her that well but dh and I really needed a break so we tried it out. Prior to that the only times I have left him (other than with dh) was a couple times with my parents- when we were visiting them in another state, and we were staying at their house and dh and I went out for an hour or two- and there was no problem. so this tme, last weekend, we left him for an hour with dh's mom- who is very nice and as far as I know would never do anything harmful to him- she was never abusive to dh in any way and seems like a decent person-

but the thing was, when she called us to pick him up we could hear him crying pretty hard on the phone, and it took dh about 6 minutes or so to go get him.  It wasn't rally that big of a deal, and I nursed him when he got home, held him a lot. but later that day after he took a nap, I noticed for the first time that he seemed kind of angry and aggressive. I was like, wow, that is weird, he has never acted like that before! So I don't know if there is any relation.

[Snapdragon]

one more added thing! Actually two- the thing
I mentioned above, I think if anything it was like the first time he was upset and dh and i
 weren't there to comfort him- more than dh's mom doing anything bad to him.

Secondly, just as I was finishing this post- dh and ds got home. dh took ds to the kids rm at the library for an hour - and he said he was perfectly happy. :) now ds is happily crawling around playing by himself- so just wanted to point out that he is not always like I described- ha ha maybe his behaviour troubles have passed! but still, I want opinions on what was going on!

[Knitting Mama]

All I know is that my 11 month old is here too, when she used to be so even-tempered and good-natured. I want my sweet girl back. So at least you're not alone, mama!

[Snapdragon]

thanks for the response!! I am not sure about the seperation anxiety thing- I mean, I am with him 100% of the time except when dh has him (and dh is great with him)

do you mean that this is something babies just go through- even if they are with their parents all the time?

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

All I know is that my 11 month old is here too, when she used to be so even-tempered and good-natured. I want my sweet girl back. So at least you're not alone, mama!

I wonder what the heck this is!!! glad I am not alone but also sorry yours is doing it too. for this very moment ds is cheerful so I am like- oh, maybe it is over. but the last few days were horrible so I don't count on this lasting---

[Knitting Mama]

I think that it's a combination of things, really.

First, I noticed that this past week, she has had an explosion of mental leaps. She started saying new words and understanding new concepts like simple commands ("bring me the block, sweetie!"). I think that she's in one of those leap stages and I think that can make them feel a little wacky.

Secondly, she cut another tooth last week, which is #7, and hers usually come in pairs, so I'm half expecting #8 to come soon.

Third, I think she really wants to walk and is quite frustrated that she's not yet.

I'm not sure if it's separation anxiety here either, because she is literally always with me, with the exception of her much-loved evening walks with her papa.

So that's my take, at least. I bet this is a common time to have new frustrations for our poor loves.

[cocoanib]

DD has had some times like those and I too think it's a combination of things around this age.

She has started walking and talking more and along with that some more teeth are coming in.

Like your DS, so much is going on that I think it's overwhelming for them.

Something that has made a huge difference is that I started putting DD's amber necklace on her again every morning. We only take it off for bed time.

That alone has made a huge difference!

That along with spending alot of time outside and changing things up , so she's not bored makes a happier home.  

[clothmama]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon 

thanks for the response!! I am not sure about the seperation anxiety thing- I mean, I am with him 100% of the time except when dh has him (and dh is great with him)

do you mean that this is something babies just go through- even if they are with their parents all the time?

Snapdragon - I have a 10 month old and I am with her the majority of the day (I work evenings), and she has some separation anxiety issues even when I am around. She gets upset when I take her into DH's and my bedroom (we cosleep) and lay her on our bed. I think it's because she thinks I'm laying her down for nap time and she doesn't want me to stop holding her. Separation anxiety is only a phase, though, and it will pass! It may be especially tough for your little boy if his mouth hurts and knows mommy=comfort. Look at it this way: Separation anxiety from mom and dad means that you guys have created a healthy, strong bond with your little one!  Good job mama!

I read that a way to help with separation anxiety is to play "object permanance" games with them. Sit them down in their room, and step outside their door for just a second while singing a song to them or talking to them. Then pop your head back in and smile, keep singing/talking/etc. Make it sort of a "peek a boo" game. It may help baby learn that when mommy is not where they can see her, it doesn't mean she is gone forever!

*hugs* It WILL get better, I promise! I have a three year old and that phase is a very distant memory.

[Snapdragon]

for whatever reason he is more back to his old self today!! hooray. here's hoping- of course I know he will go in and out of stages all the time, but he seems to be past that period of serious anger for the moment!

[Snapdragon]

  . . .  and a few hours later, willful, screaming, obnoxious, kind of mean baby is back! :( it feels like he is actually mean! I try to do nice things and heyells and screams and acts obnoxious/ omg this parenting thing is hard!! Sometimes he is just the sweetest bundle of love and so amazing. But when he acts like this it takes everything I have not to lose it! Even tho he is a baby, it still feels trying to try to be kind and gentle and loving to someone who is hitting me, yelling at me, and just generally being ungrateful and tantrumy., kwim? sigh

[NikonMama]

Does he walk yet?  I've worked in childcare with infants for 16 years, and in my experience most babies go through periods of being really grumpy/crabby/etc (basically any behavior that is not norm for them) shortly before a big change for them (rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, etc).  Sometimes these stages can last a week or two, but sometimes it can be a month or two, sometimes longer.  It just depends.  Usually once they are able to do the "task" that has them in this state, they go back to their normal happy selves.  :) 

[BabyFireFly]

My daughter is now 18 months old and we have been going through exactly what you are going through on again and off again every single time more teeth come in. At first I though she had chronic ear infections, since her thing to do when cutting a tooth is to constantly tug on her ears, but it ended up being how she expresses the pain from her new teeth. 99% of the time she is a super sweet, quiet girl...but that other 1% of the time when she is teething, she turns into monster baby! I hate using pain meds, but if it gets too bad I will give her a dose of Motrin at night so she can at least sleep - if not she looks like a zombie the next day. I have had a ton of luck with the Hyland's tabs and gel - a giving her cool things to naw on.

The part about visiting grandparents is also familiar to me. When my daughter was very young she would stay with my mom for 2-3 days at a time (my mom lives almost 3 hours away so once a month she goes and stays over for an extended time) and be fine. Then when she started getting older, the visits would cut short because my mom felt like she "wasn't having fun." I would pick her up and bring her home and she would be fine. I couldn't figure out what was going on, until yesterday when my mom came here to visit for the day (I'm due in April and 3 hours in the truck is not in the cards). My daughter is used to being home with me all day/everyday and we kind of do "our thing" throughout the day - but yesterday when "those things" that are normal for our day were interrupted, my daughter became crabby. My mom was "at her" constantly with the "come to me" - "play with this" - "don't touch/do that" and I realized that grandma was just annoying her!

[Snapdragon]

Times like this make me think maybe it is time to start getting a babysitter or something for a few hours in the week here and there. Dh takes ds a lot thank goodness, but he works during the week- he always takes him when he gets home to give me a break :) but when ds is being really difficult to the point where I feel resentful, I feel like maybe getting a babysitter or someone else to watch him for two hours in the day 3 days a week or something may be just what I need to get enough me time to be able to still be a good mom to him during that. I am not sure how I would find someone I trust enough, but as he is almost one I may start looking into it.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by NikonMama 

Does he walk yet?  I've worked in childcare with infants for 16 years, and in my experience most babies go through periods of being really grumpy/crabby/etc (basically any behavior that is not norm for them) shortly before a big change for them (rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, etc).  Sometimes these stages can last a week or two, but sometimes it can be a month or two, sometimes longer.  It just depends.  Usually once they are able to do the "task" that has them in this state, they go back to their normal happy selves.  :) 

Originally Posted by BabyFireFly 

My daughter is now 18 months old and we have been going through exactly what you are going through on again and off again every single time more teeth come in. At first I though she had chronic ear infections, since her thing to do when cutting a tooth is to constantly tug on her ears, but it ended up being how she expresses the pain from her new teeth. 99% of the time she is a super sweet, quiet girl...but that other 1% of the time when she is teething, she turns into monster baby! I hate using pain meds, but if it gets too bad I will give her a dose of Motrin at night so she can at least sleep - if not she looks like a zombie the next day. I have had a ton of luck with the Hyland's tabs and gel - a giving her cool things to naw on.

These are what I am betting on. My 11 month old is in that "I think I want to walk but I can't figure it out and GRRRR it's frustrating!" stage, and as well, she's been cutting a bunch of teeth lately. But I think it's perfectly normal even if it's horrible for all of us involved.

[Snapdragon]

It may be a developmental stages thing I suppose-- he is not walking yet, and is pulling up- almost to standing, mostly to his knees still- all the time. But oh gosh I was just looking through photos of him and he was so sweet and happy in so many of them- I really hope my sweet boy returns!! IT is so odd to see him like this! I am glad to hear it may just be a thing that will pass on its own and not either something I am doing wrong or something that happened to him in any major way.

[asberck]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon 

Times like this make me think maybe it is time to start getting a babysitter or something for a few hours in the week here and there. Dh takes ds a lot thank goodness, but he works during the week- he always takes him when he gets home to give me a break :) but when ds is being really difficult to the point where I feel resentful, I feel like maybe getting a babysitter or someone else to watch him for two hours in the day 3 days a week or something may be just what I need to get enough me time to be able to still be a good mom to him during that. I am not sure how I would find someone I trust enough, but as he is almost one I may start looking into it.

Amen!  I'm about to do the same thing.  Moms need breaks.  I notice that I never have any time for myself (unless it is the middle of the night) and I get resentful.  Finding someone you trust is another story.  Good luck!  Even a break a couple of times a week will do wonders.  But be sure that you use that time to recharge!  (I need to take that advice myself.)

[Asiago]

As PP mentioned, it may be separation anxiety. You mentioned he is pulling up now.

Seperation anxiety and new mobility go hand in hand. It's nature's way of making sure the newly mobile one doesn't wander off accidently. So the more they are able to detach from you, the more they 'attach' for safety reasons.

[BabyFireFly]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon 

Times like this make me think maybe it is time to start getting a babysitter or something for a few hours in the week here and there. Dh takes ds a lot thank goodness, but he works during the week- he always takes him when he gets home to give me a break :) but when ds is being really difficult to the point where I feel resentful, I feel like maybe getting a babysitter or someone else to watch him for two hours in the day 3 days a week or something may be just what I need to get enough me time to be able to still be a good mom to him during that. I am not sure how I would find someone I trust enough, but as he is almost one I may start looking into it.

I have been doing this for about 6 months now - my sister in law (who is one of our employees as well) watches my daughter a few times a week for 4-5 hours while I work with my horses....which is relaxing "me" time, just me and them. It gives me just enough time to clear my head and revive, and my daughter has a good time with someone other than her parents for a change.