Im currently four days "overdue", and Im just feeling really discouraged. This is my second attempt at a homebirth. The first one I remember trying every trick in the book to get things started, including taking that vile castor oil and nasty black and blue cohosh tincture. I ended up going 2 and half weeks overdue before my midwife used an ..extreme method.. to get things going which did bring about labor but also made it come on unbearably strong. So I ended up transferring to the hospital to get an epidural because I couldnt handle the pain, and felt totally crushed since I had wanted a homebirth so badly and had believed so strongly in my ability to give birth without painkillers and in the end i couldnt do it. It left me feeling traumatized and ive felt wounded ever since. So I was scared enough already to attempt another homebirth again as it was. I've tried to have courage and faith that this time would be easier but its been a long scary suspenseful pregnancy.
So I really didnt want for things to get to that point again. I dont really buy into the whole "due date" thing anyway, and wouldnt mind so much, except I can only go so long before having to be induced at the hospital since the midwife has a deadline, being licensed and all. Last time my baby ended up being nearly ten pounds, (and I was a first timer) and we can tell this one is no small baby either, so the clock is ticking.
I just wanted a normal home birth, without all the agonizing suspense and desperate attempts to get labor going. I'm so jealous of the moms whose babies come near their due date, or that have smaller babies. I keep praying, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do.. am I just supposed to go get induced at the hospital like all my friends? Is homebirth just not "meant" for me? People already think im crazy for attempting a homebirth in the first place, im starting to wonder if maybe they are right. They all just go get induced a day before their due dates and think nothing of it.
Ive been taking a bunch of pills my midwife gave me, and trying to walk a lot.
I guess I could just use a little friendly encouragement and advice. thank you..