What I'm Learning As a Parent

[MeganWoods]

I remember reading recently on a separate thread that some people find these forums make them a little neurotic, or upset about things they are/n't doing. I'm feeling really great today and was inspired to share something positive that I hope other moms out there can contribute to. We all spend too much time criticizing ourselves and parenting is about developing, growing, transforming. So, here's a list of things I'm learning from my daughter:

- There is no such thing as too many kisses. Just when you think you're about to run out you discover they go on forever. 

- I don't call other women 'Gorgeous', 'Beautiful' and 'Darling' nearly as much as they deserve.

- Empathy is probably one of the hardest yet most important social skills. 

- We are all hurting somewhere and we don't always know how to communicate our pains to the ones who love us.

- It's hard to keep crying when you're in the arms of someone who loves you.

- Energy is contagious. Thoughts are energy. Thoughts are contagious. 

- Our bodies are truly beautiful. We are all just as loveable as we were as a baby - we just decided to believe lies. There is no reason why a grown woman's body is any less deserving of the respectful handling given to a baby.

- Bodily functions and eliminations are normal and there is nothing inherently repulsive about them.

- Pay attention to who you spend time with - they affect your energy, your thoughts, your emotions just as we do to our children.

- People don't poke out their tongues and wink to each other and it is a great loss in our ability to communicate unconditional love to others.

- You can love and love and it will never hurt. It isn't love that hurts, it's non-acceptance of the reality of our being that hurts.

- It is a great feeling to be needed. Independence is overrated. 

- Nothing is more important than what is happening right now. Your life is happening and the present demands your full attention. There are no problems NOW, there are only things to be mourned from the past and feared from the future. 

- Recipe for a good life: Eat good food, sleep as much as possible and smile in between.

I could go on and on...

[OvenSeeksBun]

I must be feeling sucky, because this choked me up a little. Great thread! I will keep reading and contribute soon :)
 

Originally Posted by MeganWoods 

Our bodies are truly beautiful. We are all just as loveable as we were as a baby - we just decided to believe lies. There is no reason why a grown woman's body is any less deserving of the respectful handling given to a baby.

[P.J.]

Oh wow, this is a big one for me. I find being a parent is forcing me (for lack of a better word) to grow up and transform and heal and burn through old negative patterns. I have to: this little person is absorbing all of me like a sponge and will carry on any unresolved issues I bring to him.

By being with Max I am learning to be present. He demands my full presence a lot! It's not always easy, but things go so much better when I can fully be there for and with him.

I am learning to contain and resolve my emotions like anger and frustration, because it's not his fault if I feel that way and it's not fair to dump them on him.

Likewise, I am learning to take care of myself, because when I have given myself time for me to relax and do what I want, I am a more balanced person and can be there for Max fully because I don't feel like I'm missing something for me.

I am learning how easy it actually is to live fully and totally, because that's how Max lives.

I am remembering how beautiful and wondrous everything in life is as I watch him curiously explore and see things for the first time.

I am learning simplicity.

BTW it reminds me, I am currently reading this book: The Conscious Parent  . Such an amazing book; the one I would recommend if you only read one. It's about the spiritual side of parenting, how we learn and grow as people through the path of being a parent. I also love reading Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves and listening to her CD's. She says that our babies are our Zen Masters, and I agree! Parenting is definitely a spiritual path of growth and transformation if we choose to experience it that way and learn as we go. 

Great thread! Can't wait to see what others have to say.....

[lunarlady]

My little ones have taught me that all the material things we think we want can't hold a candle to the belly laugh of a child. Happiness is more valuable than gold and more beautiful than diamonds.

Some stains never come out of clothing, but if you act like you don't care nobody else seems to.

Sometimes the best outfits are made from clothes that clash.

Farts are funny, even if they smell bad.

It only takes a minute for a child to make a friend. What would my life be like if I invited that friendly mom at the grocery over for a playdate after she pointed out my baby losing a sock?

All food is mysterious and potentially awful or wonderful, depending on the day.

It is okay to cry when life is unfair. Nobody can hold it together all the time. Loss sucks. Cry, sigh, have a drink of water and move on.

Love makes a family, laughter makes a home, and naps bring peace and renewal for all.

[MeganWoods]

Oven Seeks Bun - Glad you liked ;) Reading your signature I see we're in almost exactly the same situation! Look forward to reading your thoughts.

P.J. - I don't think I've heard of 'The Conscious Parent', but it sounds right to me. I'll have to check it out! Keep living fully in the present!

lunarlady - I agree - the best outfits DO clash! I do it on purpose now... I also have a little tooter ;)

[OvenSeeksBun]

My babe is only about 2.5 months old right now, but I have learned/am learning:

~ Have faith in your instincts. I'm amazed by how much about labour/childbirth and parenting I seem to just *know* deep down  within me

~ The bottomless well of information that is MDC can be a blessing, but it can also be overwhelming and confusing. I repeat: when in doubt, trust your gut

~ When you're doubting yourself, remember that you are the very best mama for your baby

~ You can "plan" all you want, but you don't *know* what kind of parent you'll be until you're there

~ Tiny babies have huge bodily functions

~ Nothing smells better than a baby's head; nothing is cuter than a baby's feet

~ Every picture truly is worth a thousand words

[neonalee]

Originally Posted by OvenSeeksBun 

~ You can "plan" all you want, but you don't *know* what kind of parent you'll be until you're there

That's my biggest one.  I learned to stop saying "my child will/won't xyz" when he was less than a month.  I'm also becoming less judgmental of both myself & others (a known fault).

I discovered I have an even deeper well of patience than previously thought, even if there are still times it doesn't feel like enough!