Tracy-- I was irritated at the very title. (lol).
My first reaction is-- tell him that her training as a doctor is essentially opposite of what natural birth is all about! Of course she wouldn’t find it kosher, "crunchy" aside. Doctors feel the need to manage and control, and most of them honestly believe that things could easily be disastrous without that. Doctors have learned protocol and how to follow, and have not actually studied just the very nature of birth itself as a biological function. They look at everything clinically and medically, and they don’t understand fully how things function and operate outside of that environment! They know how to bend birth to suit their environment. In other words, they are specialists IN their environment. When it comes to a natural home birth, they are no longer specialists. Totally different dynamic, totally different environment.
Just the fact that she talks down about “uninformed decisions” shows her level of misinformation. It’s ironic how most people who claim UCers are uninformed are actually the uninformed ones, and not once do they stop to consider that possibility. It is instantly assumed that they know better and are better educated on the matter. If your husband wants to believe her as being more informed over you who has both information AND intuition, I would ask him to consider what that really means in the big picture, in terms of where the trust and the faith is being placed. If he understands the situation on those terms, he might be tempted to view UC and your opinions in a different light. He may not be easily swayed, but it is his sister, and she is a doctor (any medical professional’s opinion tends to carry weight and is at some points intimidating). He needs to realize that you are not uninformed, and if he really thinks she knows better, it sounds like he needs to have more information on UC, himself. Maybe you could steer him towards that? Education would almost certainly eliminate anyone’s seeds of doubt, IMHO. Having a bit of jitters seems only natural, but can be easily eliminated when one knows that UC is really for them. And, there’s still plenty of time for this whole thing to turn around! So much can be gained and learned in the coming months.
So yeah, I totally agree with you that more reading is a great idea for him. I want you to be able to do what is best for you and your family. Keep out all external forces which could hinder that.
LOL @ Tumble-- hey, I think for some husbands, that’s what it takes! Some people won’t be sold on it fully until they witness it for themselves, and then they’re hooked/convinced.
And yeah-- if all you see all day long is emergencies, she’s emergency-minded. She’s not used to seeing things from a calm and peaceful, non-emergency perspective. I can only imagine what I looked like in labor when the paramedics brought me in to the ER! All the docs and nurses must have thought this was another “natural” birth in progress-- and what a crazy lady, ‘cause who wouldn’t want to be in the maternity ward right now with that epidural instead of winding up like this? These are very one-sided views. They are witnessing a very limited picture of birth. It’s unfortunate that the perceived authorities on this subject actually have a very limited take on what birth truly is. Most of us mamas have more experience in this department from more widely varied views. Some of these docs have seen thousands of births, and some of us have only seen a few, yet, we come away with much more of the broader picture in all this. Not to mention we are reading the texts which they are not, that talk about the realities and the pure common sense science of it. “Uninformed”? Only in that we can’t perform our own C-sections, perhaps. In every other way, I’d say we are rich in information when it comes to birth. But yeah, her training is to view things in terms of emergencies. It must be taken with that grain of salt.
If we are just addressing his insecurity about what to do in case of an emergency, this is a common worry for moms and dads alike. I can’t tell you how many accounts I’ve heard of where such jitters were admitted to, but when the time came and labor was in action, that completely disappeared. And, if the time came to take action, action was just taken instinctively. There was no time to think, just to act. It’s natural. I mean, none of us can promise how we’ll react in any given situation, but that’s life. We can’t promise how doctors will react, either, and they’ve received specialized training and are still quite capable of making mistakes of their own. But we are deciding who we will give the ultimate power of choice over to-- a doctor, or ourselves?
Tumble, when people allege that we as UC-ers are less interested in our child’s well being, that just always reflects to me how uninformed they really are. Some of us saw our children as previously and needlessly being put IN harm's way, and are now making this very informed choice as a means of actually safeguarding them from future unnecessary threats. Psh.
Yeah, in terms of mini-freak outs… I had a dream last night about a scenario occurring that was slightly worrisome, and I awoke to turn over groggily telling myself that I really must research that issue more. Then as I woke up more and became more conscious and logical, I realized that I had already, and I knew these answers-- that the dream situation wasn‘t even an emergency, but it usually gets handled as such (like so many other birth situations). I will still look it up more, but I recognized instantly what this was. This was leftover fear training you could say, from being taught what to fear in a pretty unrealistic way. It’s crazy how all that conditioning can resurface, even after you’ve battled it and debunked certain issues. So I agree with Tumble--- distinguish the difference between a temporary freak out or jitters and the intuition that this really is not good. When all else fails, research! Research until you know enough to feel better.
I also would refuse to discuss it any further with the sister. People in my family started asking about my plans when they discovered my midwives were no longer with me. I answered some questions honestly enough but vaguely to set their minds at ease. Later when questions became a little more specific, I simply told them I didn’t want to talk about it. End of story. :) I don’t want to be put in the position of defending my case to people who couldn’t possibly begin to see things through my eyes right now, and you and your hubby might feel better to keep yourself from those stresses as well if you can help it! You have more important things to focus on right now, like a healthy and happy pregnancy and baby. No good can come of that other form of interaction.
Sounds like he's probably just feeling disappointed that his sis wasn't supportive of his decision. But, oh well, move forward. Not everyone is going to be happy with every decision made. 
