I recently lost my Mother (59 y/o) and best friend on the 19th of February after she went through 1 Chemoemobilization treatment one week prior and was released from the hospital 2 days later. Because I am a single mother of toddler twin boys, my older sister stepped up and said that she would take her at 5:30 am to the hospital for the treatment. My first cousin also went. I arrived at her recovery stage later that day and she seemed to be in a lot of pain. When my Mother was discharged, I arrived to find my sister signing off on the discharge papers and was a little excited that she was also a partner in my mother's health(she seemed detached from the helping process for 2 years).
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I visited my Mother on Valentine’s day and she seemed to be doing okay just a little tired which is what we were told would be the case. We talked to each other throughout the week and she sounded good just a little loopy which had been common with the pain meds. Well on the 18th, I called my Mother multiple times and did not get an answer but since I didn't hear from her in home support worker or my younger brother who lives with her, I just thought she was resting. The next morning I packed up my kids and we went to spend the night with my mother. Upon arrival, I was told by her in home support worker that she went to the hospital. I called the hospital and was connected to her room but got no answer. Once we arrived, I found her room empty and was told by the station nurse that she "coded." I almost died but tried to hold it together because my twins were in the stroller I was pushing. I was taken downstairs and to my mother, who was pronounced dead 20 minutes prior.
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I still can't believe it and I am doing a lot of counter factual thinking. My sister signed off on her meds and follow up appointments but did not share this information with anyone. My mother's medication (marinol and oxicodone) and life insurance paper's was the only thing my sister was concerned with when she was told about my mother's death. My sister's only listed her telephone number as emergency contact so the hospital continually called her to report my mother's condition with no answer which prevented them from moving forward resulting in my mother dying of exsanguination(Gastric Bleeding). In addition, my younger brother (22 y/o) was with my mother while I was calling, the day before her death, and had to carry her into the home with her in home support worker because she could not walk but did not call anyone (but he calls me to get him a new phone on my sprint account)...he left for two weeks on vacation to Tennessee. And to top it off, I have had to relive the trauma a few times a day because my sister took all of my mother’s phone books but did not call anyone so I had to forward my mother's calls to my phone in order to let her friends know about her death. I've also recieved calls from her cancer specialist conveying that she missed numerous follow up appointments a few days prior to her death and this information was conveyed to my sister who did not take her or tell anyone.
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At this point, I am venting and hoping that anyone can give me some words of encouragement. I have tried to remember the great time my mother and I had prior to her death and I have a therapy appointment scheduled but it's not until next week.
