Ex posting pics I sent him on FB

[waiting2bemommy]

I'm trying to figure out if I have any recourse here.

Ex has no rights to ds at all. Ds uses my last name and I have full legal custody. Ex is not included in any of the decision making regarding ds and is a total deadbeat.

However out of courtesy and to keep the peace because I don't want to piss him off too badly and wind up back in court before our divorce is finalized, when he called on ds birthday (the first time in...a year?) I agreed to email him a few pics.

Tonight I happened to discover that he had posted a picture of ds on his facebook account.

Now we are not FB friends, so if I could see it, so could anyone else. I am not comfortable with this, and since he has no legal rights to ds I feel like he is out of line posting pics of MY child without permission. I reported it to facebook, but since he had the nerve to title the pic "MY SON" I doubt I will get any action.

I should ad that he and his friends are very heavily into porn, and he is into kiddie porn and young girls. Some of the people he communicates with on line are also sexual deviants. It makes me sick to think that by posting this on his FB page, he is basically inviting these perverts to get their jollies looking at or photoshopping pics of my ds.

I realize that no internet setup is completely safe, but I have my FB set where only friends in a specific group can see the pics I post, and those people are all folks I know very, very well, IRL.

What can I do?

[makeitmommy]

I do not have a solution, I am sorry. I was actually going to post a very similar question here though. I found out that my ex still has pictures of he and I together (kissing and obvious relationship pics) on his FB page, they are also public for everyone to see. I have him blocked, but my friends have seen them and told me. This disturbs me and I want to know if there is anything I can do about it too?

There has to be a way that you can get him to remove the pictures, especially given his background and the fact that you have full custody. Do you have lawyer or presiding judge in your child custody case that you can talk to? 

[doubledutch]

i'm a little confused, because there's a difference between you having full legal custody with him still being the legal father, versus him having no rights (as in, parental rights have been terminated).  you can have full legal custody and he can still retain rights as the child's parent.  is he a legal parent or not?

if not, then i would continue to pursue it through facebook.  if he is still legally the father, then you probably will not have much luck getting the photo taken down.

i'm sorry!

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by doubledutch 

i'm a little confused, because there's a difference between you having full legal custody with him still being the legal father, versus him having no rights (as in, parental rights have been terminated).  you can have full legal custody and he can still retain rights as the child's parent.  is he a legal parent or not?

if not, then i would continue to pursue it through facebook.  if he is still legally the father, then you probably will not have much luck getting the photo taken down.

i'm sorry!

I'm going to go with "no" only because he is not listed on ds birth certificate, by choice. But I might be talking out of my a$$, because I have talked to 3 different lawyers and each has given me a different answer. So I really am not certain where he stands legally. 

It just sucks because in a normal world he could have and share pics of ds but under these circumstances it just icks me out. I KNOW for a fact that he communicates with people who are into photoshopping pics of minors and turning them into pornographic material. I have tried so many times to report him but the police don't take it seriously. And with me being long distance there is really nothing I can do.

This is why you have to be careful with your kids......just because someone isn't a convicted offender doesn't mean they are ok. Who knows how many people like my ex are walking around totally free to prey on underage kids.

[lilyka]

Unless his parental rights have been legally terminated he has rights.

But all of this is neither here nor there.  You gave him the pictures and so long as he is not using them in a deviant way they are his pictures to do with as he pleases.  You can try to take him to court to get them removed but I doubt you will be very successful.
 

And for what it is worth my xh has pictures of his girlfriend (mistress) mauling my kids and it makes me want to vomit but there is nothing I can do.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

I'm trying to figure out if I have any recourse here.

Ex has no rights to ds at all. Ds uses my last name and I have full legal custody. Ex is not included in any of the decision making regarding ds and is a total deadbeat.

However out of courtesy and to keep the peace because I don't want to piss him off too badly and wind up back in court before our divorce is finalized, when he called on ds birthday (the first time in...a year?) I agreed to email him a few pics.

Tonight I happened to discover that he had posted a picture of ds on his facebook account.

Now we are not FB friends, so if I could see it, so could anyone else. I am not comfortable with this, and since he has no legal rights to ds I feel like he is out of line posting pics of MY child without permission. I reported it to facebook, but since he had the nerve to title the pic "MY SON" I doubt I will get any action.

I should ad that he and his friends are very heavily into porn, and he is into kiddie porn and young girls. Some of the people he communicates with on line are also sexual deviants. It makes me sick to think that by posting this on his FB page, he is basically inviting these perverts to get their jollies looking at or photoshopping pics of my ds.

I realize that no internet setup is completely safe, but I have my FB set where only friends in a specific group can see the pics I post, and those people are all folks I know very, very well, IRL.

What can I do?

You can contact Facebook and have the images removed since they are of a minor. 

If your ex-husband is truly involved in viewing or distributing child pornography, you should contact the FBI.  In your scenario, I would probably call the Child Pornography Tip Line - 1-800-843-5678. 

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

You can contact Facebook and have the images removed since they are of a minor. 

If your ex-husband is truly involved in viewing or distributing child pornography, you should contact the FBI.  In your scenario, I would probably call the Child Pornography Tip Line - 1-800-843-5678. 

How does that work? Can it be anonymous? And what dod I do if I have no hard proof atthis point I'm going based on things that he has said on the phone to me and on what I saw and witnessed while we were together, but I last saw him over 2 years ago, so I have no idea if that's too long ago to even be valid information anymore. I'm 100% sure he hasn't changed, I just have no way to prove it.

And back when we were together, after one particular incident, I did call the police, they said they couldn't do anything ubnless they happened to catch him in the actual sexual act with this underage person, so I kind of lost faith in them.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

It just sucks because in a normal world he could have and share pics of ds but under these circumstances it just icks me out. I KNOW for a fact that he communicates with people who are into photoshopping pics of minors and turning them into pornographic material. I have tried so many times to report him but the police don't take it seriously. And with me being long distance there is really nothing I can do.

I highly doubt you can do anything about the pics already up on fb.  But, what you CAN do, is never give him other photos.  Which is exactly what I would do in this situation.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

How does that work? Can it be anonymous? And what dod I do if I have no hard proof atthis point I'm going based on things that he has said on the phone to me and on what I saw and witnessed while we were together, but I last saw him over 2 years ago, so I have no idea if that's too long ago to even be valid information anymore. I'm 100% sure he hasn't changed, I just have no way to prove it.

And back when we were together, after one particular incident, I did call the police, they said they couldn't do anything ubnless they happened to catch him in the actual sexual act with this underage person, so I kind of lost faith in them.

I'm not entirely sure if the removal situation is anonymous, but I imagine it is since that type of thing is typically anonymous.  You could always set up a fake account and request the removal through that account if you are concerned.

I'm confused on whether the latter was in-person situation or online.  Either way, if you really know your ex-husband has child porn on his computer or has viewed it, your best bet is to call the number I provided, express your concerns, and see what happens.  For the record, if the child pornography issue was online, not all PDs have the capabilities to investigate computer crimes (child pornography in this case), so they would typically "outsource" it to the FBI or a regional task force, etc.

[waiting2bemommy]

Yes, typically (last I knew, at the time I left him) he would view illegal porn on the computer (either child porn or hidden cam type) and he also would hit on young teen girls that he saw while walking around the city. I found out later that he was luring them back to his house and I know for a fact that on one occasion a real life sexual act did occur. That was when I called the police, who like I said did nothing.

I know this thread has totally taken a turn, but this is something that bothers me. Even more so because his younger brother (now 13) lives with him and is undoubtedly exposed to these things.

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

I'm not entirely sure if the removal situation is anonymous, but I imagine it is since that type of thing is typically anonymous.  You could always set up a fake account and request the removal through that account if you are concerned.

I'm confused on whether the latter was in-person situation or online.  Either way, if you really know your ex-husband has child porn on his computer or has viewed it, your best bet is to call the number I provided, express your concerns, and see what happens.  For the record, if the child pornography issue was online, not all PDs have the capabilities to investigate computer crimes (child pornography in this case), so they would typically "outsource" it to the FBI or a regional task force, etc.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

Yes, typically (last I knew, at the time I left him) he would view illegal porn on the computer (either child porn or hidden cam type) and he also would hit on young teen girls that he saw while walking around the city. I found out later that he was luring them back to his house and I know for a fact that on one occasion a real life sexual act did occur. That was when I called the police, who like I said did nothing.

I know this thread has totally taken a turn, but this is something that bothers me. Even more so because his younger brother (now 13) lives with him and is undoubtedly exposed to these things.

If you know for a fact that he is doing these things why are you sending him pictures of his son at all. If you want him to not post the pictures to his Facebook account then don't send him any - I can't imagine Facebook would make him remove them if he was able to prove that you had in fact emailed them to him.

[waiting2bemommy]

I didn't even know he had an active FB at the time. I knew he had created a myspace page years ago and it hasn't been touched since maybe 2008. So I had no reason to think that he was active on FB and would do this.

FWIW I don't really have a problem with HIM having the pics, because I don't think even he is sick enough to be inappropriate towards my ds. It's his friends and acquainatnce and the general public, that I don't trust.

[BabyBearsMummy]

Photos you have taken are your intellectual property. Facebook will remove the pictures on the grounds that they have been posted without your consent. Report this thru Facebook channels.

[blessingscome]

Facebook will do that? That's great!