Arranging for always-homeschooled kids to visit a school for a day...

[onatightrope]

I have an 8 and 10 year old who occasionally ask me what school is like.  I try to describe what I remember about school, but I know things have changed, and so I was thinking of arranging for them to go to our local public school for a day so they can see for themselves.  They think it would be interesting to do-- sort of a cultural experience, KWIM?

Has anyone done this?

I've been talking to friends, and the reasons I've been told this might not be a good idea are:

1. The teacher/other kids might be mean to them
2. They might not know how to do something they are asked to do, and it might undermine their confidence in themselves/homeschooling
3. They might have a lot of fun, and decide they want to go to school, but not actually be up for doing it everyday.

Personally, I am not all that worried about #1 or #3, but I suppose I could be wrong.  Our local schools are generally pretty friendly to homeschoolers.

I suppose the other reason not to do it is that it would take some of the teacher's time and attention away from the other kids, but since this is the school my kids would otherwise be attending, its hard for me to feel too bad about that-- they could be there fulltime, and certainly that would take more time and attention.

Thoughts?  Experiences?

Thanks!

Thea

[lach]

When I was in school, every once and a while someone would bring in a cousin or a private school friend to shadow them for a day.  It wasn't a big deal. The guests were definitely objects of interest, but in a friendly way.  Do they have any friends in public school that they could buddy with?  That might make it easier.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by onatightrope 

I suppose the other reason not to do it is that it would take some of the teacher's time and attention away from the other kids, but since this is the school my kids would otherwise be attending, its hard for me to feel too bad about that-- they could be there fulltime, and certainly that would take more time and attention.

This last reason is actually the one I would take most seriously. If your child was attending, the school would be receiving thousands of dollars a year to provide education and supervision for your child, your child would count towards the teacher's class size, and your child would (normally) be integrated fully into the entire school year. I think it is a bit of an imposition and if it's not because your children are seriously considering school as an option in the next few months, if it's just because they're curious, I think you need to weigh that imposition fairly.

Buddying with a friend reduces the degree of imposition, because some of the responsibility for integrating your child into classroom routines can be delegated to that child. 

My eldest attended school with a buddy for two or three days in 3rd grade because she was unhappy at home at the time and was considering school for the following year. The teacher was a personal friend and was totally fine with it, though she did ask that we time the visit for a week that would work better for her, rather than just some random time that was convenient for us. (My dd didn't end up enrolling in school the following year, but found the trial days helped her make an informed decision.)

Miranda

[Daffodil]

From what I know about the schools in my area, my guess is that they wouldn't allow unenrolled students to visit for a day.  I imagine there could be liability issues.  What if the child got sick or hurt during the day, or hurt another child, or broke something expensive?  They might be concerned about whether your child has any health or behavioral issues that could cause problems, and about whether your child has been vaccinated.  (On the other hand, my homeschooled DD has come with me several times to visit my DS's public preschool class, and no one has ever brought up any concerns like that.  They always seem happy to see her.  But I'm right there with her.)  And of course, as Moominmamma says, there would be some work involved for the teacher, and she's not getting paid for that extra work.

In my state, homeschoolers are allowed to participate in some activities at public schools, like PE, music, or art.  (I think in theory they could participate in some academic classes, too, but I haven't heard of any doing that in elementary school.)  If something like that is possible in your area, maybe that would be a way for your kids to get a taste of school.  I assume you'd have to fill out all the forms parents have to fill out when they enroll kids, and your child would be expected to commit to showing up regularly to participate in the chosen activities.

[Tjej]

I once visited my old middle school after I'd transferred to another one year (we had different holidays).  It was perfectly fine with the school and I just "shadowed" a friend.  I think it'd be ideal for your kids to each find a friend they'd be interested in sharing the day with and figure it out from there (if the friend is interested, then if the teacher is okay with it).  Also, I'd make sure your kids are capable of sitting and observing for long periods of time and/or plan to pick them up at/after lunch time.  If you aren't studying the material already and you don't know anyone and it's regular class time it MIGHT be a lot of just listening to others and not being able to be vibrantly involved.  It could be a LONG day.

HTH

Tjej

[Lisa1970]

I do not think it would be a good idea because they could go, and have everyone so excited for the new kid that they are super nice to them. Then they come home begging to go to school, even though what they experienced was not real.

[Igraine]

I agree with Daffodil about a school not allowing it. My friend had a similar situation with her teen age daughter and when the parent called the school to arrange a visit they said no due to liability. This is New York state where there is a big divide between public schools and homeschooling, no participating in any school activities for my kids.

What worked for my son was talking to kids their own age who attend school about their experiences. My kids still go to daycare for a few hours a week to have some local connections with their friends who go to school. All my son's friends tell him how lucky he is. My son's best friend happily answered my questions about his school day ("Oh it is only 6 hours of school each day and I think it is pretty easy." This to my son who fights to do a few assignments a day! He politely told his buddy "I would rather not talk about this please." )

I live in a pretty small town but the school has fairly strict rules so I do not believe they would allow such a visit.

Now if only I could rent a school bus for my 5 year old who really just wants to ride the bus like her friends...

Good luck to you whatever you do!

[mattemma04]

When my dd started school a month into it everyone was SUPER nice.She even had classmate helpers to show her how things were done. One day of visiting will not do it. They would need to sign up and start in the fall to really get an idea. She tried 1st grade and left after winter break.She tried 2nd grade to see if things were better and left after winter break.

They will only know if they actually attend,and every year will be slightly different if they get new teachers yearly. I regret my ds trying school only because he was bullied.Being bullied changed him.Otherwise I think it was a good experience for both my kids to see what day to day school life was like.When we pass the old school there is no yearinng or wonder. No,they have a special name for the public school now,and it is not very nice!

There was the issue of pulling the kids out,and that was made a bit hard by family who wanted the kids to stay in PS no matter what. I pulled anyway and dealt with family after the fact.

BEST WISHES!!!!!

[scheelimama]

My kids went with their cousins for lunch and recess last year and got to check it all out.  They were very curious too and just wanted to know what the inside of a school was like.  They were very intrigued with the idea of walking in a line, quietly, through the hallway, on one specific side only, to get to the next activity.  We were only there an hour or so though, not sure about going for a whole day.  But it was fun for them to see what the classrooms looked like, what school lunch was all about, and some of the "weird" rules that the kids had to follow.  There was absolutely NO talking during lunch (except for visitors who could sit with the people they were visiting as a completely different table farther away from the school kids).  No talking in the halls.  And many other little rules my kids were surprised at.

[onatightrope]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! 

Originally Posted by scheelimama 

My kids went with their cousins for lunch and recess last year and got to check it all out.  They were very curious too and just wanted to know what the inside of a school was like.  They were very intrigued with the idea of walking in a line, quietly, through the hallway, on one specific side only, to get to the next activity.  We were only there an hour or so though, not sure about going for a whole day.  But it was fun for them to see what the classrooms looked like, what school lunch was all about, and some of the "weird" rules that the kids had to follow.  There was absolutely NO talking during lunch (except for visitors who could sit with the people they were visiting as a completely different table farther away from the school kids).  No talking in the halls.  And many other little rules my kids were surprised at.

This is the level of experience my kids are interested in.  We all understand that it wouldn't be a full picture of what it is like to go to school, and unless the school day gets shortened and pushed back by a couple hours, I can't see my kids wanting to go to school.  And if they did come away from visiting a school with the feeling that school was the place for them, I'd be ok with letting them start in the Fall and give it a real shot.  

I am trying to see how it would be an unreasonable burden for a teacher to have to deal with an extra kid in their classroom for a day.  I could see making it a half day, to make it easier on everyone, but they're good kids-- I don't think they'd cause huge problems, and they would be there to learn (they'd be learning about school itself more than the curriculum, but still a learning experience).  I guess I don't see why it would be so terrible for my kids to get one day of education out of our local public school system.  I know the school wouldn't get the per student funds from the state, but they still get the same amount of property tax from us, and it's not like the teacher's salary would go up if I enrolled my kids...

I haven't asked my local school, but a friend of a friend was able to arrange for her son to spend a day at their local public school, so I think it's possible.  I suppose I may need to sign something promising not sue.

The kids in the neighborhood who go to public school are never home, so we've lost touch with them over the years.  I'll have to think about who we know in the right grades....

[tankgirl73]

In my state, homeschoolers are allowed to participate in some activities at public schools, like PE, music, or art.  (I think in theory they could participate in some academic classes, too, but I haven't heard of any doing that in elementary school.)  If something like that is possible in your area, maybe that would be a way for your kids to get a taste of school.

My 12yo son has joined the middle school band program.  I had to talk to a bunch of people, starting with the band director (who is a friend of mine since we're colleagues in the local music community), moving up the chain until we got the the principal.  At every step, each person said "I don't see why not, it's okay with me, so let's check with so-and-so".  The principal then said "Sure!  We have no rules against homeschoolers participating in our activities, in fact we encourage it!"  (Though from what I can tell, ours was the first case lol)

I was a bit concerned that he'd get the wrong impression about school since he'd just be part of the 'fun' stuff, that he'd enjoy the social time with the other kids so much, and want to spend more time with his new friends and want to go to school... Don't get me wrong, I think at 12 he's old enough that if he decided he wanted to try school I'd probably let him (but keep a close eye on things since he does have Asperger's) but I don't think it would be a good fit for him!  

Anyway, I needn't have been concerned.  Most practices are after school but occasionally he's had to go in for lunchtime practices, so he's had a chance to see kids heading for lunch, changing classes, etc etc... and he's not impressed.  He thinks it's crowded, noisy, crazy... and while he LOVES band, he gets the other kids saying "you're homeschooled?  LUCKY!"  (when they're not saying "weird" heh)  This is just enough 'school' for him.

So -- if there's any possibility of something like that for your kids, whether arts or sports, it might be a good compromise.

As for visiting a classroom - my niece (who is unschooled) once tagged along with her cousin to school when they were visiting their relatives in another province.  She was pretty young... I think 7 at the time?  In a grade 3 classroom I think.  Her mom was a bit worried... it turned out that the day she went was a "fun" day, where they were doing a lot of cool activities, rather than a usual school day.  She was worried her DD would have the wrong impression and start begging to go to school!  She didn't... but I know it's something I'd be concerned about, that either it would be an untypical day or they'd be extra-nice trying to entice the kid to join them.