Can we talk about BLAME?

[IdentityCrisisMama]

For a variety of reasons I've been thinking about the human tendency to seek blame.  I'd love to chat about it and hear your thoughts.  

Here is my newest theory: 

-A person seeks a place to place blame because they feel as though if there is no one/nothing to blame their anger, sadness, frustration, and ect. on they do not have the right to their feelings.  

What are your thoughts on blame?  

-Why do we do it?  

-Why do we sometimes need it to be so "neat", so focused on one thing/person?  

-Why do we need it in the first place?  

-When is it healthy or appropriate?  

-What are the effects?  

-If it becomes an unhealthy issue for us or someone in our lives what can we do to tone it down?  

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama 

-When is it healthy or appropriate?  

...-If it becomes an unhealthy issue for us or someone in our lives what can we do to tone it down?  

I think that for me, blame was related to a deep belief that someone had to be a fault, and I didn't want it to be me, so I looked for some where else to focus the blame. Anywhere but me. Blame was about being afraid that it was my fault. Part of moving past blame was letting go of the belief that someone had to be at fault.

I don't think blame is ever healthy or helpful, though I do think it is very natural. I think that it keeps us stuck in the past, and that it limits it our ability to create our life to be what we want it to be like. I think it is closely related to resentment, and it's like an emotional cancer, eating away at us. 

The ways to work though it depend on the situation around the blame. Partly it's about just taking responsibility for our lives and choosing to live in the present, which is easier said than done.

It was difficult for me to accept responsibility for my life without feeling like I was accepting blame.

(I blame my parents for that one. )