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How others see you

post #1 of 45
Thread Starter 

Since I'm a little on the "young" side in this DDC (due June 21) and also a first-timer, I am probably a little behind the size curve relative to some posters here--but everybody can probably relate anyway. I've found it interesting to notice how other people respond to how pregnant I look, since last week was the first time I'd had a stranger assume I was pregnant (not counting a time on a bus 2 months ago when I was wearing a huge cloak). What I've noticed is that people do not ask or say anything, for the most part, but when I mention it they don't seem at all surprised, which makes me think I'm still in a stage of "I bet she's pregnant but I don't want to ask in case she's just chubby".

 

Anyway, I just thought this was interesting. How about you? Where are you in this process?

post #2 of 45

Most people instantly respond to DD and her putting on a show :) then they look at me and say " HOLY COW you're going to have another already????" yuup and by the way people... they will be 2 years apart... not 9 months. It's not that crazy, or even crazy AT ALL. 

 

I also get the mean stares from people thinking I'm a teen mom. Those are cute. 

 

Generally though, people are sweet and just give the smile. Older people always ask when I'm due, gender, and what we are naming him. I always have my generic answer ready--- " Due in June, it's a boy, we haven't decided yet" I'm thinking of printing a t-shirt with this info on it :)

post #3 of 45

Yeah, there's no questions here - I definitely look pregnant.  Really pregnant.  I am sure the "you're not due until JUNE???" comments are going to start any day now.

 

If my other 2 little ones are with me, I often get comments about how close in age they are and how tired I must be (all less than 2 years apart) but it really doesn't bother me.  I used to get peeved when people would say things like "how are you going to manage with another one?" and what-not, but I can't say I really care what other people do or say.  And I know a lot of mamas who have lots more babies than I do and manage just fine, so I just draw off the wisdom and strength that they show (Annabelle).  

 

I actually like the attention I get from being pregnant.  It helps me remember what a miracle it is to grow a baby!!!

post #4 of 45

People can tell I am definitely pregnant. People see me with DD #3 and say, "is this your second?" and I laugh and say nope, we have a 21 y.o. and 19 y.o. as well and they usually say "oh my" and then DH loves to tell them our whole 8 years of infertility and an adoption in between story *LOL*

post #5 of 45

Lately when I'm out with my two older girls and they are fighting I think people are saying "That lady should REALLY not be having another one!"  I also get the "JUNE?!!" comments.  I'm huge.  Get over it!  :)

post #6 of 45

I'm the fat chick people *think* is pregnant but are way too scared to ask in case I respond that I'm not pregnant accompanied by a face like this ---> irked.gif ... lol I was large before pregnancy and although I think I totally look pregnant and people who know me can tell, I can see where people who don't may be leery to ask. Typically, they will hint something like, "so...is she your only so far...?" about dd (presumably to test the waters lol) then I respond with, "and another coming in June" with an affectionate pat of my belly. Then, they look happy and relieved because their assumption was right and general pregnancy talk ensues (do you know what you're having etc).

 

It's a fun little dance lol

post #7 of 45


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

I'm the fat chick people *think* is pregnant but are way too scared to ask in case I respond that I'm not pregnant accompanied by a face like this ---> irked.gif ... lol I was large before pregnancy and although I think I totally look pregnant and people who know me can tell, I can see where people who don't may be leery to ask. Typically, they will hint something like, "so...is she your only so far...?" about dd (presumably to test the waters lol) then I respond with, "and another coming in June" with an affectionate pat of my belly. Then, they look happy and relieved because their assumption was right and general pregnancy talk ensues (do you know what you're having etc).

 

It's a fun little dance lol


Yes, that is me, too!! Though I'm a plus-sized gal, I actually think I look way more blatantly pregnant this time around. But sometimes I think people see my 20-month-old and assume I just haven't lost the baby weight or something (actually, I hadn't lost it all when I got pg when DD was 14-months-old, but then morning sickness helped me with that!). I also get a lot of shocked remarks on how close the girls will be, but they're due two years apart, not exactly scandalous...

 

Last week I mentioned to another mom that my daughter was going to be a big sister and she looked at her and looked at my belly and said "Are you her nanny?" "No, I'm her mom, and I'm due with another baby in three months." Baffled stare. I'm still not sure what confused her, but luckily my daughter ran off and I had to chase her :)! 

 

post #8 of 45

People think I look huge.

post #9 of 45

Today is the first day that customers have commented on my belly, which is kinda fun! My coworkers always comment on how small it is, but I attribute that mostly to being 6'+ tall and having lots of space for baby to hang out in. I'm pretty sure the comments will be coming in more while on errands and such. Hard to tell with a sweater and a long coat! I'm 24w now.

post #10 of 45

I look like I swallowed a basketball. People stare.

post #11 of 45
Quote:

Originally Posted by erigeron View Post

 

What I've noticed is that people do not ask or say anything, for the most part, but when I mention it they don't seem at all surprised, which makes me think I'm still in a stage of "I bet she's pregnant but I don't want to ask in case she's just chubby".


This is me too. People seem relieved when I mention that I'm pregnant, because they're 97% sure, but not willing to risk asking. winky.gif

post #12 of 45

I'm getting a lot of "June? You're so TINY!" But I feel like I'm really popping finally! Even though this is my 2nd, I haven't really been obviously pregnant looking until the past few weeks (22-25 weeks).

post #13 of 45

I've JUST started to get comments about my tummy being big (or, according to one woman today, "fat"). I don't think I've suddenly gotten huge; I show late and tend to measure small (long torso, thinnish), so I've only just started wearing maternity tops, which emphasise the tummy. On days when I wear my non-maternity shirts I look a lot smaller. So I think it's just a perception thing.

 

Unfortunately I'm not too keen on personal remarks at the best of times, and during pregnancy I can get downright antisocial; so it grates on me when people comment. I still get people asking what sex the baby is, too, which we've known for months (well, nearly two months, anyway!), and the reactions to that annoy me too. There are the people who Approve of Boys, which I find obnoxious because I'm one of six girls; and of course the "now you've got one of each, how perfect!" comments, which always make me want to retort that we were hoping for another girl. I don't mind talking pregnancy ad nauseum with my friends, but acquaintances are the death of me. I have a friend who holed up for several months before she had her baby, and still hasn't come back into society several weeks after he was born... I know how she feels!

 

post #14 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by BallardBaby View Post

Yes, that is me, too!! Though I'm a plus-sized gal, I actually think I look way more blatantly pregnant this time around.


Me, too.  I am plus-sized, but this baby is way more noticeable than the other 3 were.  I'm due June 19th.  She is just "basketball-y". LOL  People definitely know I am pregnant this time around and say so.

I've actually lost about 12 lbs, but I can always count on my 86 year old grandma to comment on my "largeness".  Thanks, Grandma!

 

post #15 of 45

I am expecting in July and people can definitely make that outpeace.gif

I too sometimes get, "JULY??" look as if they thought I was due next month twins.gif

post #16 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

I don't mind talking pregnancy ad nauseum with my friends, but acquaintances are the death of me.

Oh, this, a million times over.  It drives me nuts when the cashier at the grocery store asks me when I'm due and what I'm having.  I know they're trying to be nice, so I don't usually spew crazy all over them, but I really don't understand why pregnancy questions are seen as fair game for small-talk.  The impending birth of my child is not exactly on the same level as "nice weather we've been having, eh?". 

 

I think a lot of the "whoa, you're so big!" comments are coming from the fact that we don't really see VERY pregnant women very often.  Movie stars usually go into hiding around 7 or 8 months (because who wants to wear 4" heels when you're toting an extra 30 lbs?), and I read somewhere that most maternity models are at 5 or 6 months when their pictures are taken (because even in pregnancy, advertising isn't effective if it's not making someone feel insecure), so pregnant women people might see in TV or in movies or wherever are almost never full-term.  Add to that women going into hiding their last month to avoid insensitive verbal ejaculations about their size, and it really seems like our perception of a normal woman's size at 9 months is skewed. 

post #17 of 45

That makes a lot of sense! (Side note, I saw a pregnancy model with stretch marks the other day. It was refreshing! I guess if most pregnant models are only 5-6 months, that might explain why they don't have any... well, that and airbrushing, probably.) I've certainly read my share of "[Actress] glowing on the red carpet, ready to pop" captions under women who didn't look nearly full-term... maybe the captioners were clueless about tummy size, or maybe they just figured an "It's amazing she didn't give birth right there at the premiere!" caption would be more dramatic? :p

 

Oddly enough, I don't mind strangers' comments so much... cashiers and bus drivers and so on. It's people I know slightly that drive me nuts - actually, to be perfectly honest, it's mostly people from church. We come from a small, nosy church. :p Some of the people are lovely, mothers themselves, always up for a good gabfest about placentas and labour trauma and breastfeeding, and that's fine; I've had some great conversations with one woman who had twins, and another who has some funny labour stories. But then there are people who don't generally talk to us, and who give the impression that they're checking up on the pastor's daughter to make sure she's doing things the Right Way, ie. the correct number of children with the correct spacing and correct sexes in the correct order. Which, naturally, differs from person to person. So that's fun. :p I'm probably a bit sensitive about it because of my living-in-a-fishbowl pastor's-kid bringing-up... it reminds me how everyone from church felt they had the right to come to our wedding, even if they didn't know us, because I was the pastor's daughter and they (sometimes) came to church! I know pregnancy makes you public property anyway, it's just our church seems to amplify that.

 

Oh well. Someone I barely knew passed along some brand-new baby shoes yesterday at church, so that was cool. And we will doubtless receive many casseroles after the baby's born, which DH will once again refuse to eat because he likes my cooking better. People do mean well, I'm just grumpy and misanthropic.

post #18 of 45

I don't mind questions about myself or about my pregnancy, but I am getting sick of hearing you are huge. Heard it at church again today. 

post #19 of 45

Yeah, I posted a belly pic on facebook and everyone immediately came back with "OMG, look at how big you are!" yes, thank you very much.  Not one person said anything nice!  Last time I post a pic like that on FB - learned my lesson!

post #20 of 45

I don't mind the "Big" and "huge" comments... in fact, I like them! Being big and huge has nothing to do with my weight, it's my baby, I can't possibly be offended by that. :) Plus, it's not like I don't realize it too: I'm pretty massive!  From about week 17 onward all I get is, "You must be ready to pop any minute now".

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