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When does it get easier? (This just may be a vent) - Page 2

post #21 of 28

OMG girl you made my day! you made me laugh not at you but with you for i totally now what you mean and you  put everything right as it is and how it is! its very hard, i have a VERY active 3 year old and a VERY clingy 18 month old, and i get anoyed at all the repetive things i do all day. and im a stay at home mom yet seem to never get anything done, im lucky to cook! my patients seems to be at 0! i always want a break but cant have one, find my self having an ocassional cig, and i quit over 2 years ago (never around the kids outside during bed time if i do have one) and i have so much stress going on in my life with school, kids, new puppy, moving, the closest person i knew passed away last month too. so its hard. but the only thing i can think of is when they wind down and you get the moment where they cuddle with you want to be held, remember that when they act up! it helps some. but other than that i hate to tell you i dont think their is no cure but time and A LOT OF IT! lol good luck, if you need a online friend to vent i am here and on FB i like to vent and like to know that there is others out there not scared of venting as well!

post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoamingWidgeteer View Post

This is the original Learning Tower.

 

But if you're handy you can build one, like Ana White's Little Helping Tower. Its on the to-do list!



i was wondering what they called those and when ever i talked to someone about them they were all confused like wtf are you going on about! i so want one thanks for the links going to be on this asap! lol

 

post #23 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by radicaleel View Post

Aww hugs! I had to laugh because so much of that dialogue sounds SO familiar to me for some reason! My DS, 17 mos., gets exactly like that sometimes, maybe not as constantly hyperactive as yours though. I think it is normal little boy behavior. They just can't contain it!

My 2 cents: it sounds like you really need to get him out of the house somewhere he can run around and explore a new environment. If you are able to. Some ideas: a park or playground, childrens section of the library, the mall, the zoo, a big hardware store like Home Depot, a friend's house. We don't get out every day, but when I manage to take him somewhere interesting for an hour or 2, it makes a huge difference. He tires himself out and sleeps great after a fun outing.



sorry for the multiple post but i love the fact you brought out going out evento a big store! i forgot that on mine, i know mine get even worse the longer winter lasts so even letting him roam around free in walmart helps! i know in our area we have a mall that has a play place that works good. but summer may i suggest walks and parks besides them getting exersize and getting out and about you do and you feel better about yourself which makes parenting a lil less stressful. i promise im done with the multiple posts............ for now mauhahahaa! ;)

 

post #24 of 28

I'm going to go with perfectly normal because that sounds like the average day at my house. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AirMiami View Post

Hey, we gave birth to the same child! Except replace train with baby or fairy. My 25 month old daughter is exactly the same, she's always been very high needs, moody, dramatic etc.



Oh poo there goes my theory that a girl wouldn't be as crazy lol. 

post #25 of 28

I just wanted to thank you, OP, and subsequent posters. It feels good to know that we are not alone. Around 16-17 months, life with my very calm, mellow baby changed drastically. Compared to many, she is still a mellow, easy going baby. At around 19 months now, I have SOME tools to handle this, whereas at 17-18 months I was just really lost. I can see she's struggling to adjust to being more independent and capable (but not nearly capable enough to do all she would like!), Breastfeeding as much as a newborn (but much more insistent), sometimes hitting or biting, having not obviously explainable throw-herself-on-the-floor temper tantrums, refusing to get in her carseat or go potty in the toilet. Every day there are moments when I lose my patience and feel desperate for an outlet. Especially with the carseat thing. Sometimes if my husband is going to be 15 minutes late getting home, I feel venomously angry at him for leaving me alone with our dd, because I feel I can't keep being the patient, somewhat reasonable one. I know he doesn't understand the depth of frustration I sometimes feel--he has never been alone with her for 8 or 9 or 10 hours or many days in a row.

 

I try to think of this as good practice for staying present in the moment. It's really hard. It's hard to keep perspective when it feels it will never end, that you are under attack, or that you are alone with a person who doesn't appreciate how hard you're trying. For me, I try to remember that she lacks autonomy and is kind of stuck, not understanding her situation. I try to empathize out loud with what I imagine her feelings to be. (She is very verbal, so I think she understands a lot, but probably not everything.) "You are mad. You want to hold that and I won't let you." And sometimes I empathize out loud with my own feelings! "I am so frustrated right now! It's only natural in this situation. I think I need a little break. I will feel better later." I'm not sure these things help her so much, but they give me something to do other than act as angry or frustrated as I feel!

 

As with others, my biggest help is going outside to a safe place. It is typical for us to go to the park twice in a day. In the evenings sometimes we stay there for hours. We do this even if it's rainy or somewhat cold. At the park, I follow her lead and help her to try whatever she wants to do. Sometimes she just stands still and watches other kids, sometimes she spends tons of time picking up every bit of trash or putting the mulch in her mouth. But it's still better than being stuck in the house. Then we go through the carseat drama (which seems to be reduced a little when I start telling her a story well in advance about how we're going to go to the car and she's going to sit in her carseat and we're going _____), which sometimes erases all the patience I've built up while at the park. 

post #26 of 28

haha, this sounds like our days.  We almost always get out of the house. Anything for a little sanity - in the winter, it's hard (I'm in Michigan) but we're frequent loiterers of stores ;) And even that, for awhile, was difficult. Our two year old hadn't learned the concept of "no touch" and "not ours" or "you break it, you buy it."  But you must, must, must get out of the house!

 

The other thing we succumbed to is television. It's extremely limited and when he watches, it's educational. But it's completely worth it if it means I can cook for 20 minutes without being disturbed. And, in that sense, it's better for our son too. If I can't cook because he's clinging to me, that means we're normally eating something that isn't so healthy.



Last of all... everything is a phase. He'll grow out of this!  :)

post #27 of 28

Lately I have to fight an instant headache when I tell my 25 month old "no" because of the temper tantrum that follows. Not to mention the other two usually trying to get attention at the same time. I am waiting for my hair to turn completely grey.

post #28 of 28
Cham - sounds like you kismet and I are all having the same issues. I know A's lucky i havent taken up drinking this week, with the rain. The other day i finally said to heck w it threw a jacket on him and we went for a walk. He walked all the way to WF. My back ached all night from holding his hand, but he was tuckered out!

Do you know any gated playgrounds? I know one in C V we used to frequent, no worries about running kids. Might be worth checking around your area. It definitely makes park time more restful... In fact i was at one in SJ just last week w a fence. I'll have to ask where it was (i wasnt driving). I turned the kids loose and just hung around to intercede if necessary. Much nicer than riding herd.
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