DD can only get to sleep by nursing. She's almost 2. Anyone else?

[nukuspot]

Hi all,

Just wondering how many others out there have a 2 y/o (or older) LO who NEEDS to nurse to get to sleep.  I have never gotten her to sleep (bedtime or nap) without it (except if she falls asleep in the carseat or in the ergo).  Even if she falls asleep in the car or the carrier, I still can't carry her into the house and put her to bed, she will need a few minutes of nursing to get back to sleep after the transition.

She nightwakes frequently still (1-4 times) and NEEDS nursing to get back to sleep.  I haven't even thought about nightweaning at this point because I don't know what alternative I could add to get her to sleep in place of nursing.

Just wondering if anyone else out there has an older toddler who still needs to nurse in order to sleep.  She isn't constantly nursing all through her sleep, I can detatch after awhile, but sometimes it takes about 30-45 minutes or so until she is asleep enough I can break the latch.

[mamaforever]

Hi!  Yes, my 26 month old son still "nurses" to sleep.  But it's actually a bottle he takes now, not the breast.  He weaned from the breast on his own at 12 months (I think because I had milk supply issues!).  But he still needs his bottle to fall asleep.  I put almost all water in it and just tiny bit of milk (he won't drink it with ALL water) because I'm trying to avoid dental issues.  But you shouldn't have to worry about this with breastfeeding because I've read there is a decay-fighting ingredient in breastmilk that should help prevent dental issues for your DD.  For a while I was thinking about trying to get him to fall asleep without having a bottle, but then I got involved with attachment parenting groups that encouraged me to continue doing what my son needed.  He NEEDS his bottle right now to fall asleep, so keep giving it to him when he needs it.  I also read in one of Elizabeth Pantley's books about how many parents go through the entire toddler years doing this, and if it works for mother and child, then there's no issue.  The child will eventually learn to fall asleep without nursing.

[woodchick]

DD2 nurses to sleep 99% of the time.  Every once in a blue moon if I'm out of the house DH can get her to sleep, but hardly ever.  We've thought about night weaning, but frankly, it is just far quicker and easier to nurse her back to sleep and I need all the sleep I can get :)

[lookatreestar]

my dd didn't start falling asleep w/o the boob until 2.5/3 years on a regular basis.

[xzaviers_mama]

I'm in the same boat, and I want out!  lol...

So, I have an 18 month old, and a 3  year old.  They will both only fall asleep while nursing.  My 18 month old still sleeps with me, and he winds up  nursing several times throughout the night.  For the past 2 weeks or so, my 3yo has been waking up 1-3 times each night as well.  It's awful, because DH wants to help, but there's literally nothing he can do.  They want nothing to do with him at those times, so I wind up literally juggling kids all night long.  I'm also about 8 weeks pregnant, so I'm already exhausted all the time...  I just don't know what to do, or how to fix our situation.  

[Leisha]

Originally Posted by nukuspot 

Hi all,

Just wondering how many others out there have a 2 y/o (or older) LO who NEEDS to nurse to get to sleep.  I have never gotten her to sleep (bedtime or nap) without it (except if she falls asleep in the carseat or in the ergo).  Even if she falls asleep in the car or the carrier, I still can't carry her into the house and put her to bed, she will need a few minutes of nursing to get back to sleep after the transition.

She nightwakes frequently still (1-4 times) and NEEDS nursing to get back to sleep.  I haven't even thought about nightweaning at this point because I don't know what alternative I could add to get her to sleep in place of nursing.

Just wondering if anyone else out there has an older toddler who still needs to nurse in order to sleep.  She isn't constantly nursing all through her sleep, I can detatch after awhile, but sometimes it takes about 30-45 minutes or so until she is asleep enough I can break the latch.

I was in your boat until about 2 months ago. DD (now 2.5) had only ever fallen asleep at night while nursing, her whole life. (except maybe 10 times on occasions where i had to go out at night until quite late. If it wasn't late, she would just stay awake until I - or more importantly, my boobs - came home). Same for naps: unless she was in the car, carrier or buggy, she had to be nursing.

She also woke up multiple times a night and then need to nurse to fall back asleep. I ended up spending most (basically all) nights in her bed because there was just no use to me leaving (if I could even sneak away - as soon as she would notice I was gone, she'd start crying).

I was alright with that for a long time, cherishing the nightly cuddles and I certainly don't regret any of it, but the last say 6 months (probably more even) it just got so very frustrating... I could get so little done because my whole evening was spent trying to get her to sleep (when she was younger she fell asleep quickly but it got increasingly difficult up to a point where I tried to get her to sleep from say 7 or 8pm and she'd finally sleep by 11 or even later... and it wasn't a peaceful affair, she'd often cry, want to get out of bed, etc) countless times I actually fell asleep before she did!

I read the no cry sleep solution (+ the one for toddlers & preschoolers) a few times, and used some of Pantley's tricks, which helped for a while or to a certain extent. (I think I could have made more of an effort probably, but dd seemed so unbelievably attached to nursing (to sleep) that I just was never really confident that it would help or change anything, I just couldn't imagine her going to sleep any other way!...)
But then I tried one of the things Elizabeth Pantley suggests... I let someone else take over the bedtime. My DP now puts DD to bed (which means I now have time to visit these forums again, hahaha!) and she goes to sleep with absolutely NO problem 99% of the nights, and... she has been sleeping through the night since pretty much the first time he did the "night shift".

Pantley also said that in her book... the way kids fall asleep often sets up a pattern for the night: if they fall asleep nursing, they want to be nursing the whole night, or at least need to nurse when they wake up in the night. Now when my dd wakes up, i hear her fussing a little and she falls back asleep on her own.

Anyway, i wrote a super long reply just to say that you're definitely NOT the only one who has/had an older toddler still nursing to sleep.
Are you happy with the situation or would you like to teach your dd other ways of falling asleep? I couldn't really tell from your OP.

[fruitfulmomma]

Yes, my 27mo old is still nursing to sleep and my oldest did the same thing. Daddy has tried taking over bedtime but she isn't having it.

[Leisha]

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma 

Yes, my 27mo old is still nursing to sleep and my oldest did the same thing. Daddy has tried taking over bedtime but she isn't having it.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention... she won't have it when I'm also there... so most nights around her bedtime (first I put her in her pj's , brush her teeth, read a book with her), I go out (either i really go out of the house; to dance class, visit my mom&dad or meet a friend,; or, ahem... I pretend i'm leaving but sneak into our bedroom instead : I'm really not proud of that last bit, I really hate "sneaking" or basically "lying" to her (i hope i don't get flamed for this my friends think it's really funny but i feel a bit, well, sneaky) but it helps her sleep so much better...and i won't be doing that for long anyway, just for the transition phase... plus I try to plan a lot of activities so most of the time I actually DO go out for a bit.; it's nice to have some time to myself after those 2+ years of nursing to sleep every night, i gotta admit)

[winter singer]

My DD is 2.5 and still nurses to sleep more often than not, unless she falls asleep in the car or sling, but I think things are slowly beginning to shift by themselves without any specific action by us.

It used to be that whenever she fell asleep in the car and we moved her into the house I'd always have to nurse her back down, like you say happens with your daughter. That's the way it was for 2+ years. But over the past month or so that's changed and now she usually just needs a quick cuddle without nursing - sometimes not even that. She might half wake up but she seems to feel secure enough now to be able to go back to sleep immediately.

As far as going to sleep at night is concerned, she'll sometimes want to nurse but then unlatch while still awake and just stare at the ceiling and burble to herself until she falls asleep. I always stay with her at those times - I don't think she's ready to fall asleep completely alone - but it does seem to be happening that way more and more often. 

She still nurses a lot at night though and sometimes I feel like I'm beginning to get burnt out with that......it's been a long time!

Anyway, all this is just to say that your DD may start changing her sleep pattern all by herself when she feels ready to do so.