How do you fit with the cultural standards of beauty?

[bluedaisy]

So many of the things that women are supposed to use to be considered beautiful in this culture are laden with toxic chemicals - makeup, lotions, shampoos, hair color, hair care products, perfume, etc.

So I'm curious - do you try to maintain the cultural standards of beauty but use natural products instead of regular products - i.e. natural make ups, lotions, etc.

Or do you just do without most of the products and go for "plain" natural beauty - no makeup, nail polish, perfume, hair care products, etc

Or do you "shun" the standards of beauty and purposely try to make a statement with the way you look?

I fall into the second category - I can't really afford natural products so I don't really use many.  I have naturally curly hair that is a pain to style and manage so I just wear it long and keep it in a ponytail all the time. I wear makeup maybe 10 days a year and can't stand the smell of nail polish or remover so I don't use it.  I don't use many lotions and I never wear perfume.  I do shave all the "typcial" places the culture dictates women should shave

I think I would like to do a little more with my appearance (I think my DH appreciates it when I make a little more effort, although he has never said anything negative at all about my appearance.) but at the same time I can't stand the thought of exposing myself and my daughter to all those chemicals.

So I'm just curious what other women who care about toxic chemicals do about their appearance.  Thanks!

[Lynn08]

I voted the 1st option, but I'm somewhere in between 1 & 2. 

I use "natural" beauty products for the most part (shampoo, deodorant, etc) and I love makeup (which I pretty much only wear for work (pt) and on special occasions) but can't really afford to go all out and buy everything I want.  So I have a few splurges and go conventional where I think it matters least.  As for smelly-type things, I much prefer my own natural scent, so lotions etc tend to be very lightly fragranced, if at all.

I don't color my hair or paint my nails, though.  Too much upkeep for my lazy butt. 

[woodchick]

I voted option 3.  But I'm not aggressive about it. I don't wear makeup or nail polish and I don't shave.  But I don't do these things to "make a statement" I do them because I feel like it is the right choice for me.

[Toolip]

well, if olive oil counts as a "beauty product" then I should go with #1 but I voted #2

[lookatreestar]

i've always been #2, reasons include: lazy/tomboy/dislike chemicals 

[Chamomile Girl]

I voted the second option which is mostly true I guess. I don't wear makeup or invest in hair care products (except shampoo/conditioner). I shave pits and arms because I am "supposed" to and not doing so makes me super self conscious, but I hate, hate, hate doing it (because its a big nasty double standard) so I only shave when I have to. I do buy nice Weleda stuff to wash my face because soap didn't cut it now that I'm old, and I use deodorant sporadically. Although since I became a sahm I don't really actually use deodorant much anymore.

No nail polish, no perfume. I like perfume though (essential oil stuff) and I used to blend my own. But smelly stuff bothers DH so I stopped (sigh). No lotion, although I adore naturally scented body oils like lavender and rosemary. I try to use them lightly since DS was born since he is stuck to the boob so often.

My one vanity was that I hennaed my hair, but I haven't since DS was born because it took too much time. I did order some henna yesterday though, so yipeeeee! Now that he is finally sleeping in the evenings I have a chance.

But, yeah, the "beauty" section of conventional stores is a wasteland of "meh" to me.

[JesKace]

I voted for #2.

I've slowly reduced the amount of things I do to be "beautiful" over the past few years.  I threw out all my nail polish and stopped painting my toe nails last year.  I never really painted my finger nails unless I got my nails done (acrylic nails 7 years ago). 

I did try making my own deodorant, but it was irritating my skin so I started using Tom's of Maine.  I'm hoping that once I'm not pregnant and my hormones aren't so messed up I can get away with not using any or trying some other home made things.  Last summer before I got pregnant I was doing okay with not using anything but it seemed like once I got pregnant I got stinky...LOL 

I do shave, but in the winter time it's not a top priority.  I like to have my legs/arm pits shaved otherwise I feel like I get itchy.  I can tell when it's been more than a few days and my leg hairs get long because I start scratching my legs like crazy. 

I don't use tons of make-up.  I only really use eye shadow and mascara when I'm going out of the house or feel like I look frumpy, so maybe a couple days a week.  Occasionally (few times a year) I use face powder.  Now after only washing my face with hot water and using jojoba oil as a moisturizer it for the past month, I feel that my skin looks really good and I probably won't have to wear the powder at all anymore.  I hate the feeling of lipstick/chapstick on my lips.  This winter if my lips got really dry I've been putting a little coconut oil on them to moisturize them.  The make-up I do use is conventional makeup though :(  I'd like to buy natural ones, but I'm still trying to use up what I've had for a while. 

I go back and forth between no poo and using shampoo depending on how dry my scalp is.  I cut my hair really short last summer and I ended up having to use a lot of hair products, and had to blow dry my hair everyday.  I've been letting it grow out and I'm able to get it mostly up into a ponytail which I'm excited about.  I hated having to put stuff in my hair everyday just to make it look presentable.  Plus I hate having to wash my hair everyday to get all the stuff out!  I used to dye my hair all the time, but over the past few years I've only done it a couple times when I really needed a change.  I'd like to give henna a try!

I do still use some perfume on occasion, but since I've cut out smelly stuff from our house (home cleaning products, scented lotions, soaps (ours are only mildly scented), and fabric softeners I find that even one squirt of perfume is almost too much.  Especially with my super sensitized pregnancy sense of smell.  So now when things are heavily scented it makes my nose burn.  I would like to try making some of my own perfumes using essential oils mixed in a carrier oil that way I can dilute them so they aren't sooo smelly.

So I guess I'm pretty plain/natural looking.  But the days that my hair is down, and I have on some eyeshadow/mascara I look a little done up and probably blend in more with the mainstream idea of beauty...

I hate dressing up and spend all of my time outside of the house in Jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt though... So on that front I'm definitely more "plain Jane".  My clothes pretty much look exactly the same from day to day.  I sometimes wonder if people think I only own one outfit...lol

[no5no5]

I voted "other."  I don't do anything for the purpose of making myself fit in with societal standards of beauty, but I also don't go out of my way to avoid fitting in with those standards either.  My goal is that I'm clean, comfortable, and that I like the way I look.   

[ShadowMoon]

I guess I'd fit in with #2.

I use very little "beauty" products and the ones I do are natural. I use a non-residue shampoo, occasionally a conditioner, and have my hair highlighted a bit during the summer. I plan on dreading my hair in the next month or two and that will decrease my hair product usage even more.

I use a natural foundation, mascara and lip gloss for makeup. I only shave my legs and use a crystal for deodorant. I use patchouli and nag champa as a fragrance. I do use lotion, especially after a shower or on my hands when I'm working. And I will occasionally put a clear coat of nail polish on my nails to keep me from biting them. (A bad habit of mine).

[isabchi]

I voted for #2.

I think that I look kind of normal. I really don't know. I know care if I fit or not under the cuItural standars. I just really try to be concious out the toxics products. I use my homemade deodorant, shampoo,  and toothpaste. I don't use polish nail or perfumes, and nothing with fragance, that include our clothing or bath. I don't dye my hair , but probably I'll start to do soon, I start to get lots of gray hair and don't really like them for me. I don't use hair conditioner or any hair product except some coconut oil to detangle here and there. I don't use make-up in years, body lotions, nothing. In summer season, I shave my legs and armpits and use a mix of coconut oil and olive oil in my legs.

[MsFortune]

I'm the 2nd, but it's out of laziness rather than a plan.  I used to be the 1st, but since having kids I don't have a lot of time for grooming.  I do like to get done up, I think it's fun, but I only bust out a hair do and make up for parties.

[tracymom1]

Originally Posted by no5no5 

I voted "other."  I don't do anything for the purpose of making myself fit in with societal standards of beauty, but I also don't go out of my way to avoid fitting in with those standards either.  My goal is that I'm clean, comfortable, and that I like the way I look. 

This exactly.

I have long hair which I love and every 6 months or so I get some highlights (I have A LOT of grey hair and I am not ready to accept it fully yet).  It's my one purely vain and toxic splurge.  I don't wear makeup unless I am going to a wedding or something where we will be professionally photographed.  I don't wear nail polish or perfume or fancy lotions.  I use pure almond oil as my moisturizer and Dr Bronners bar soap on my body.  I do shave my legs and armpits in the summer and my bikini line if I am going swimming in public, but not so much in the winter.

Like the PP said - I just want to be comfortable being me.  Whatever that entails, I can accept it.  

[jimblejamble]

#2. I keep myself clean & groomed (brush teeth, wash hair, deodorant), my hair goes up in a ponytail every day, no makeup, but I wouldn't say I have a counter-culture look. I am considering dreadlocks though...

[CI Mama]

I chose "other" because I mostly go for the "plain beauty" approach, but I have this one area of total vanity...I dye my hair. If I didn't, I would be completely silver, and at age 41 I am just not ready to look "old." And I don't dye it myself...I go to a salon and get it done. It's probably not the most "natural" approach, but I love love love getting my hair done. It's an hour and half to sit and be pampered by someone else, and I get to ready a magazine while the dye "sets."

So, yes, I'm totally into the all-natural/plain beauty thing except for this one instance where I completely cave to mainstream concepts of beauty (and the accompanying products). What can I say, I'm not perfect. I am kind of like my friend who is a vegetarian except for bacon.

[physmom]

Having a nice (easily manageable) haircut is a nice way to start.  I recently cut my hair and I was shocked how big of a difference it made.  That and losing a few pounds/working to stay in shape has also helped a lot. 

Beyond that I don't do much.  I'm working on finding more flattering clothes (but that can be done through consignment shops if you want to save $$).  I'd like to start wearing a least some makeup but I'm so lazy that I'm not sure if that will ever happen.  I picked up some today but we'll see if it gets used.

As for lotion, most bother me because of the perfume so I prefer lotions based made with cocoa butter if I can find them (and the ones I found were rather inexpensive but I've only found one that I really liked and that was in Germany ).  My hair color is natural because DH cringes at me dying my hair (and I have a unique hair color for where I live so most people envy it, even though I find it rather boring!!).  I'm also way too laze to put on nail polish except for on a rare occasion and then DH normally complains about it anyways!

Oh but I don't use natural deodorant.  From what I've read on here it doesn't work that well?  I actually hate what I use currently because it makes me itch like crazy but then I at least don't stink.

Oh, and I think I look pretty normal.  I've gotten more than once that I look like a preacher's kid?  Don't ask me why...

[Chicky2]

I voted 2, but more a mix between 2 and 3.

I use to wear makeup every day and spend alot of time on my hair.  Then I became a mom of more than 2, lol, and decided doing things for/with them was more important so I stopped wearing makeup everyday, and would wear a ponytail for convenience.  Then I decided to wear makeup everyday again, but then went full-on into perimenopausal ickiness and sweat so darn much now that I can't wear it, esp. in the summer (TEXAS) because it falls right off.  Yay.  I did decide this past summer to dread up and now I just decorate them if I want to feel dressed up.

[justmama]

The only "beauty" products I use are some gel in my curly hair to tame the frizz, and some natural mineral makeup(very small amts, usually only mascara) and I do shave body hair and paint my toenails.  But no hair dye or perfume or nail appts or whatever else anyone does like bleaching your teeth and all.  I do the very basics to make me feel good about myself. 

[goldenwillow]

I voted #2 here. 

I only wear mascara in the winter since I have albino eyelashes and like to have a bit of contrast while I am super milky white in the winter.  I have natural curly hair and use a bit of organic (Aubrey) conditioner to tame the curls.  The frizzies got way better over the years after I stopped straightening and cutting it and made peace with my curls... oh a shower filter made a HUGE difference there.  I shave because I like too.  But that is about all I do. 

I too feel like women are super toxic when I see a ton of makeup, purfume, striped hair, etc...  (I was one of them back in the day!).  I do think at times that it is pretty but think... Man...  how much crap is in your body!  I am SUPER chemically sensitive and just don't go there anymore... going on 7 years.

I feel I am "prettier" now than ever before, especially while holding my DS!