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Gifts I would not use, would you say something before hand? - Page 3

post #41 of 43
Originally Posted by camracrazy View Post

If they were close family or friends I would probably say something in a nice way. A lot of people just don't get why we choose do do things a certain way!



This is what we do!


 Usually before getting a gift family will check in to find out whatever the kids current preferences are, and usually I help them out with some suggestions I know the kids would love, or just refer them to a few of our favorite websites. If they were to send a gift that we don't allow in our house, or just something that's not really age-appropriate we would donate it.

post #42 of 43
Originally Posted by Shaki View Post

I'd just smile and nod and then donate or return the gift. If there are other parents in your family who dress their girls in those kinds of clothes I think it would be taken as insulting or judgmental if you told them that you will not dress your DD in those clothes. It's more gracious to just accept the gift and then dispose of it however you wish.

Exactly.  No nice way to ask them not to buy your child things they buy for their own children!  It is insulting and better left unsaid.  If they ASK you what to get or what not to get, you can offer up some ideas in the most polite way possible. 

Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post

Honestly, I think you are overthinking things.  Just because they put that stuff on their kids doesn't automatically mean they will give it to you. 



I think saying something ahead of time is going to make a bigger deal out of it than it has to be.  If I bought my niece something with Disney Princesses on it, and I never saw her in it, it's likely I wouldn't even notice, and even if I did, I am not going to say anything.  BUT, if my brother came to me and said something like-Hey, we know you love Disney Princesses but we don't believe in the commercialism that represents so please stick to wooden toys (or whatever variation thereof,) I would be somewhat offended, irritated, and would be regularly rolling my eyes behind his back. 

Agreed.  My dd3 loved Dora and had a Dora dollhouse and pjs, etc.  I don't think I ever bought anything Dora as a gift though - as who knows if that kid happened to be "into" Dora or not.  And I am adamantly against words on the butt of pants - but wouldn't say that to anyone who was about to come to my dd's party.  If someone happened to get that (which seems odd and unlikely) I'd politely thank them and explain to my dd (later, not in front of people) why we were not going to use it.

Originally Posted by Mama Mko View Post

It is never polite to tell people what types of gifts they can't give to you or or your kids. It's rude and presumptious. Just accept the gift and thank them then get rid of it or just don't have the baby wear it.


Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

There is one thing I could say that would probably head off the shirts that say these things....our babies have had skin problems and cannot wear polyester.

Much of the stuff you don't like also comes in cotton so I don't think that solves your issue at all.

Originally Posted by beebalmmama View Post

Yeah that. No reason to create bad feelings among family if you don't have to.

I agree.  To avoid a minor issue - exchanging or donating a gift you don't personally like - you will very likely cause a much bigger issue.  Having friends and family in your children's lives - people who care about them - is SO much more important than whether they give your child an Ariel t-shirt vs. wooden toys.  Don't risk one for the other.


post #43 of 43
I think you're doing the right thing... smile when you get it and then give it to charity. If you tell people in advance it might come off as judgmental, especially if they allow their kids to wear that type of stuff. Just my opinion FWIW. smile.gif
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