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Almost 6 yo peeing behind dresser and stairs on his bed

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

On several occasions in the past 3 months my husband and I have come into our son's bedroom to check on him and gotten a wiff of pee. After having our son clean his room completely we moved all the furniture to find where the smell is coming from...( a few years ago he would hide food behind his bed that he sneeked in between meals) I couldn't hold back the gasp as I saw the yellow stains on the carpet and the walls! Any suggestions on how to get him to stop? He told us that it was quicker to pee behind the bed than it was to get up and walk to the bathroom (which isn't very far away). We are beyond frustrated with having to carpet clean pee out of our carpets every week. With that being said he is in a very stable home, in a great school has mom and dad in the house and is a very happy boy, and no changes in routine.

post #2 of 10

Oh boy, that would push my buttons for sure!

 

A couple ideas come to mind...

 

- put a small potty (do you still have his old one from when he was little?) in the room that he can use to pee into.  Dumping out a potty sure beats cleaning pee-ed on walls and carpet IMO!

OR

- let him know that it is not ok for him to pee anywhere in the house except in the toilet.  Period.  Until he can be trusted to do so he loses the privilege of playing by himself (in his room, etc) and needs to stay where you can see him.

 

I'm not entirely sure from your OP, but I'm assuming that this has been going on for the past few months and continued even after you found out?  Or is it just recently that you found out and he hasn't done it again since then?  If it's the latter, it might be that now that he knows that you know, and that you are very much NOT ok with it, then he might just stop of his own volition.

 

Good luck mama!

post #3 of 10

I was just about to post something similar to this, about my daughter who is almost 4, but has been out of diapers more than 2 years.  She has recently been peeing herself on purpose and sometimes claims laziness (too cold to get up and get to the toilet etc.)  

 

I am here on MDC because I WATCHED her do it today, and I narrated what I thought was happening.  oh, it looks like you are deciding to pee in your pants etc.  I totally don't understand this.  I am most interested in WHY she is doing this.  I can't believe it is purely because she didn't feel like getting to the toilet... there must be some kind of control thing going on here...and quite possibly with OP (whose post I am hijacking ooops) little boy.

 I love the idea of a potty in his room though, it might just be that he enjoys his private time and doesn't want to break, or maybe there is an allure to the secretiveness of peeing behind the bed.  

 

ps we use "nature's  miracle" on pee spots :)

post #4 of 10

I wouldn't put a potty in his room!  He's almost 6!  He can take himself to the toilet-- but he admits he's too lazy?  Too bad.  

 

I would take a hard line about this.  I would tell him it's disgusting and a serious sanitary issue.   I would make him clean the walls and carpet. Thoroughly.  Even if it takes an hour. I would let it be  huge inconvenience for him.  I would also rearrange the room so that there are no more available corners or hiding places. I would take things out of his room if necessary, to make sure there's not another place he could pee. I might even tell him he's not allowed in his room alone for a certain amount of time, (except for sleeping) as a consequence for not respecting it.   If that's not an option, I would think of another consequence... such as he has to clean other rooms in the house, too, just so he knows how awful it is take clean up when other people don't respect the house. I would also let him know the even tougher consequence he would face if it ever happens again.  In short, I would make it such a big hassle for him to deal with the clean up and consequences that he would never dare consider it easier to pee in his room than in the toilet.  I might even tell him that, too.  

 

That said, I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon.  It just sounds like a maturity issue. Kids do crazy stuff, face the music and learn from it.   

 

post #5 of 10

My little brother did this when he was six.  My mom put a potty back in his room.  He used it for a couple of months.  Then he stopped, and used the toilet in the bathroom.  I don't understand a hard approach to this.  I certainly wouldn't tell him that it was disgusting.  I'd tell him that there are places for pee, either potties or toilets, and he can choose.  Is it 'disgusting' if a six-yea-old pees his bed?  I hope not!  As for punishment like the above poster mention, that also seems harsh, and shaming, and exceptionally unnecessary.

He'll grow out of it.  Why not make it easier for him? 

If he doesn't want to use a potty, maybe get him a special flashlight to help him get to the bathroom in the middle of the night?  Or restrict liquids after dinner. Any chance of a UTI?

post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post

My little brother did this when he was six.  My mom put a potty back in his room.  He used it for a couple of months.  Then he stopped, and used the toilet in the bathroom.  I don't understand a hard approach to this.  I certainly wouldn't tell him that it was disgusting.  I'd tell him that there are places for pee, either potties or toilets, and he can choose.  Is it 'disgusting' if a six-yea-old pees his bed?  I hope not!  As for punishment like the above poster mention, that also seems harsh, and shaming, and exceptionally unnecessary.

He'll grow out of it.  Why not make it easier for him? 

If he doesn't want to use a potty, maybe get him a special flashlight to help him get to the bathroom in the middle of the night?  Or restrict liquids after dinner. Any chance of a UTI?



The difference betwen peeing the bed and peeing behind the dresser is that one is fully intentional, while the other can't be helped. FWIW my ds used to pee his pants out of laziness, and one day when I ran out of clean clothes I was so frustrated that I made him do his own laundry (put clothes in, add soap, get them out and transfer to dryer, then put them away in his own drawers.) As it turns out he likes to do laundry, but he did find it such a PITA to do all this by himself, when he wanted to be outside playing, that he stopped peeing his pants. He would tell me "mommy, I went potty because I didn't want to stay in the house and wash peepee clothes."

 

Harsh would be beating him about it. Washing/cleaning it up is a natural/logical consequence. Someone has to clean it, why should it not be the person who made the mess????

post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 

No this is not because of a medical issue, he has admitted to being lazy and not wanting to leave his room because it was "quicker" to pee behind his bed than it was to walk through the kitchen to the bathroom. I don't find it harsh to make him clean up his mess that he intentionally made. I stood nearby and had him scrub the walls and carpet free of the pee smell and use our handheld carpet cleaner to clean up the remainder of the mess. I have put up with this nonsense for a few months and enough is enough. There has to be a point where you need to do something to make him understand that it isn't fun for mommy to clean pee off his floor and walls and after he cleaned his mess we had a talk about why it was not okay to pee in his bedroom.He is doing much better and I haven't noticed anymore smells coming from his room. I appreciate the suggestions but when a child understands what privacy is, and changing his pants if he pees in them because he doesn't want to get up from playing making him clean up his mess is not harsh.

post #8 of 10


my daughter, now almost 8.5 years old, used to pee on the carpet, in various objects like hats, dog bowls...things like that...that was when she was about 2.5 years old on and off thru about 4 years old.

 

recently i discovered she had been occasionally peeing on piles of clothes on the floor or into a shirt then leaving it on the floor. she also has said she was too lazy, basically, to go to the toilet. its only like 50 feet or so from her room or the living room, the 2 places she has done it. i have narrowed out any medical issue...  i'm thinking its an impulsive thing. but it has always seemed VERY ODD to me that she would even THINK to pee on the carpet like that. especially at this age. i still haven't figured out the reasons behind this.

 

i'd love to hear from those of you who have had kids intentionally peeing around the house. peeing in pants is different IMHO.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillylady05 View Post

On several occasions in the past 3 months my husband and I have come into our son's bedroom to check on him and gotten a wiff of pee. After having our son clean his room completely we moved all the furniture to find where the smell is coming from...( a few years ago he would hide food behind his bed that he sneeked in between meals) I couldn't hold back the gasp as I saw the yellow stains on the carpet and the walls! Any suggestions on how to get him to stop? He told us that it was quicker to pee behind the bed than it was to get up and walk to the bathroom (which isn't very far away). We are beyond frustrated with having to carpet clean pee out of our carpets every week. With that being said he is in a very stable home, in a great school has mom and dad in the house and is a very happy boy, and no changes in routine.



 

post #9 of 10

I agree with the pps that don't think it's too harsh to have the child help clean up their mess.  I also don't think it's wrong or shaming to let a child know that INTENTIONALLY peeing somewhere other than the toilet, outhouse, or behind a tree if you're camping (or where ever else is designated "ok" in your family) is unhygienic and gross.

post #10 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaimom View Post

I wouldn't put a potty in his room!  He's almost 6!  He can take himself to the toilet-- but he admits he's too lazy?  Too bad.  

 

I would take a hard line about this.  I would tell him it's disgusting and a serious sanitary issue.   I would make him clean the walls and carpet. Thoroughly.  Even if it takes an hour. I would let it be  huge inconvenience for him.  I would also rearrange the room so that there are no more available corners or hiding places. I would take things out of his room if necessary, to make sure there's not another place he could pee. I might even tell him he's not allowed in his room alone for a certain amount of time, (except for sleeping) as a consequence for not respecting it.   If that's not an option, I would think of another consequence... such as he has to clean other rooms in the house, too, just so he knows how awful it is take clean up when other people don't respect the house. I would also let him know the even tougher consequence he would face if it ever happens again.  In short, I would make it such a big hassle for him to deal with the clean up and consequences that he would never dare consider it easier to pee in his room than in the toilet.  I might even tell him that, too.  

 

That said, I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon.  It just sounds like a maturity issue. Kids do crazy stuff, face the music and learn from it.   

 



Totally agree with this! 

 

If my kid suddenly decided to start peeing in her room, I certainly wouldn't kneel down to her, hold her hand and ask her nicely not to do that anymore.  More than likely, I'd make a bed for her IN the bathroom and she could sleep in there....nearest to the potty since she was too lazy to walk to the bathroom ;)  until she learned not to be so lazy.   

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