Sib Issues with DS (4 y/o)

[Disco Infiltrator]

DS is almost four and this past August he got a baby sister.  He's a very sensitive and insightful boy so having a sister has been treated wtih skepticism since we told him we were pregnant.  When she arrived he was quite traumatized, no honeymoon period whatsover, but he's mostly kept his distance.  Until now. 

In the past week he's started bonking her.  I knew this was coming but it's still hard to see my kiddo who is a very non-aggressive kid (he'll give a toy he's playing with to another kid before fighting over it) resorting to hitting and grabbing (he's also started pinching us during this time as well ::sigh::).  The part that's the hardest is that DD is doing NOTHING beyond simply looking at him or adoring him to provoke him.  I feel like he plays well with other kids, he knows how to treat the cat gently but his sister just triggers this deep rage.  One thing I've noticed is that DS is worse toward his sister when I'm around (I birthed DS and DW birthed DD), so I know this is about him feeling insecure about still being loved.   

So I've started gathering information, reading books, talking to my fellow AP parents, about how to navigate these waters.  Does anyone have any suggested reading (I've started Sibs w/out Rivalry) including books and articles, and stories are good too. 

Thanks!!!

[K1329]

I don't have any suggested reading, but, want to post and offer commiseration! We were very surprised when our gentle, loving dd started "bonking" her baby brother, too! What a surprise! I was worried enough to mention it to our pediatrician, who just laughed and said it was very common. That the lo would grow and be able to defend himself and that "this, too, shall pass". Sure enough, it did. Now, at 4 & 7, my two kids play for HOURS together and have a really friendly, loving relationship (with the expected occasional, small squabbles). For awhile there, I could have never predicted that they would one day get along! The one tip our ped gave us that I took to heart was to not leave the toddler alone with baby. While we were in the thick of the "jealousy stage", we made sure that they weren't alone together. Good luck! Hopefully, another poster will be able to offer some good reading suggestions on sibling rivalry for you.

[revolting]

Thank you, K, for posting this. My kids are 4 and 1, and we are still going through a lot of sibling aggression. It's reassuring to hear that even with a rocky start, they may one day get along!