How do you handle lying? My 5yo is really using this to her advantage. She will lie to get out of trouble, to get something she wants, and sometimes for no reason I can see other than amusement. It started at 4, but instead of mostly stopping by the time she was 5 (as it did with DD1), it is getting worse all the time.
Obviously, if she's lying to get out of trouble, I stress that I want the truth, and don't come down hard on her when I get it. Often, she still will not speak up. Lying to get something she wants - one example is telling me that a barrette (actually borrowed from her sister) was given to her by her teacher that day at school. (She has a really good poker face and can concoct some amazingly believable stories, at least for DD1 and I.) In this case, the lie lets her keep the barrette, and the truth would result in having to give it up.
With DD1, I did a lot of talking about how important it is for people to believe what you say, etc, etc - the whole truth-as-an-important-principle idea. It worked great. However, this has no effect whatsoever on DD2. Who cares about principles when you can get stuff you want more easily with a lie?
Our current situation is a battle over school lunch vs home lunch. She really likes the school lunches, but I prefer to pack lunch for the girls most of the time. We had settled on 1 school lunch every other week, and that was going well. On Monday, I was too sick to pack lunch, and they got a "free pass" for school lunch. I packed lunch Tuesday. Wed, our kitchen water had been turned off since Tues mid-day, so I said they could have school lunch again. Unfortunately, I didn't unpack to wash the lunchboxes until too late, and discovered that she hadn't touched her packed lunch. When she went to school that morning, she told them she was getting school lunch. The same thing happened Friday. The consequence for this one, I think, is that she will not be getting school lunch any more, and the school knows about it so she can't lie to them in the morning.
It has gotten to the point where I don't know what to believe from her anymore. She is telling me that some kids at school are teasing her about her new haircut, and I've been sympathetic, but I have to say I'm not even sure that story is true. She comes home with some crazy and not-so-crazy stories, and I no longer no when she's telling me the truth. This is a really hard spot to be in, not being able to trust anything she says. Please help!