?'s about retracting

[anomaly13]

my 2.5yo intact ds is always playing with his "peens", just recently he started to retract the foreskin revealing his penis.  he then comes to me with it out and asks "mama what's inside my peens?" sounding concerned.  i tell him it is his peens and he should leave it covered, that the cover is there to protect it.  well when dh sees or hears of him doing it he gets mad, while i try and explain a little but firmly ask that he not do it.  his foreskin has never been forcefully retracted otherwise to my knowledge, and i feel i would know since i spend 24/7 with the kids and have always done all their dr. appts.

is he hurting himself, he does not express pain when doing it, or causing a potential problem?  

also my 4.5yo intact ds sees it happen and i have now seen him trying to do the same thing only his foreskin won't retract, is that normal?

[Fellow Traveler]

Sounds just fine to me. It's really common for intact boys to play like that when they discover this wonderful new trick. He should be fine and I wouldn't worry too much about it, for either boy.
 

Originally Posted by anomaly13 

my 2.5yo intact ds is always playing with his "peens", just recently he started to retract the foreskin revealing his penis.  he then comes to me with it out and asks "mama what's inside my peens?" sounding concerned.  i tell him it is his peens and he should leave it covered, that the cover is there to protect it.  well when dh sees or hears of him doing it he gets mad, while i try and explain a little but firmly ask that he not do it.  his foreskin has never been forcefully retracted otherwise to my knowledge, and i feel i would know since i spend 24/7 with the kids and have always done all their dr. appts.

is he hurting himself, he does not express pain when doing it, or causing a potential problem?  

also my 4.5yo intact ds sees it happen and i have now seen him trying to do the same thing only his foreskin won't retract, is that normal?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Both things you describe, your younger ds retracting and your older ds not being able to, are both perfectly normal. No 2 boys are going to be alike in the age they retract. There is no set age when it should happen. From birth to adulthood is in the realm of normal. My ds also asked what was in there when he noticed he could retract a little and see the glans. Like you I explained what it was and he was OK with that.

[MarineWife]

My 3yo ds just almost fully retracted his foreskin. I don't think it was retracted at all before just now. He was sitting on the floor and said, "Mommy, look at this," and showed me his almost fully retracted foreskin. I just sort of said, "Yep." I did ask if it hurt him at all to do that and he said it didn't. That was that. I assume that as long as he's not complaining about it, it's okay.

[eepster]

It all sound perfectly fine, except your Dh's reaction.  That would be my main concern.  have a good long talk to your Dh about not over reacting.  

[anomaly13]

Thanks Ladies!  DH gets upset because he doesn't want ds to hurt himself and ds is constantly doing it, even when dressed with his hand down his pants.  there is concern about dirty hands playing with his penis and causing a problem in that regard. dh is not getting mad/upset any more, he is not intact so we both needed to learn that what ds is doing is safe.

ds has a "problem" with listening and doing as he is told, i guess it is called being 2.5yo but it is frustrating to be repeating over and over the same thing every day. ds1 was not like this he listened and remembered so we are working on a different approach with ds2 it's just taking awhile.  

[MarineWife]

Why is it such a big deal if he's touching himself? My 3yo touches himself all the time, especially right now. He goes bottomless most of the time that we are home because he tends to not use the toilet if he has pants or underwear on so it seems his hand is velcroed to his penis. He says it's awesome. It's completely normal and natural and there's nothing dirty about it. I also wouldn't say that a 2.5yo has a problem if he doesn't do what he's told all the time. Like you said, that's how 2yos (and most children a lot of the time) are. I'm sure almost any parent you ask will say that it's a lot of repetition.

[anomaly13]

it is only a big deal as far as cleanliness is concerned, i was/am worried that by retracting constantly with dirty hands then he could get dirt/grim "lodged" up there.  i know it is normal but it is new to me.  like i said ds1 doesn't retract and so while he too was constantly touching himself there was never any worry that anything was getting stuck up there, kwim?  now i know that there is no harm in him retracting on his own.  

as for my 2yo having a "problem", i wasn't serious, i did go on to say that it is called being 2.5yo and i know his behavior is age appropriate.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by anomaly13 

it is only a big deal as far as cleanliness is concerned, i was/am worried that by retracting constantly with dirty hands then he could get dirt/grim "lodged" up there.  i know it is normal but it is new to me.  like i said ds1 doesn't retract and so while he too was constantly touching himself there was never any worry that anything was getting stuck up there, kwim?  now i know that there is no harm in him retracting on his own.  

as for my 2yo having a "problem", i wasn't serious, i did go on to say that it is called being 2.5yo and i know his behavior is age appropriate.

My ds3, who is now 3yo, is my first experience with an intact penis, too. If I understood correctly what I read yesterday, I think that once the foreskin is retracted, it should be retracted for cleaning with just water or very, very mild soap while in the bath or shower. That should take care of anything that might get stuck in there.

Is that really much of an issue? I also read yesterday that the whitish substance that sometimes builds up underneath the foreskin is normal epithelial cells and other secretions that actually help to keep things clean and healthy.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

If I understood correctly what I read yesterday, I think that once the foreskin is retracted, it should be retracted for cleaning with just water or very, very mild soap while in the bath or shower. That should take care of anything that might get stuck in there.

If you can get him to retract it in the bath/shower (I dont see it being a problem for anomaly13 since he likes doing it anyway) then he can do so. But no one else should do it for him even if he is 100% retractable. The reason is that it has to be relaxed to go back comfortably and if someone else is messing with it can cause it to get stuck behind the glans (paraphimosis) which is a bad thing. So only the owner of the penis should retract it.

Just wanted to make that clear to everyone lurking

My ds did get an infection under his foreskin from playing with it with dirty hands. It was totally my fault since he had been outside playing and when I brought him in to change his diaper I didnt think and his dirty little hands where down there before I thought.

He has since played with it (gah when dosnt he ) with not so clean hands and had no issues at all so it was just a fluke thing but it can be a valid concern about dirty hands.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X 

If you can get him to retract it in the bath/shower (I dont see it being a problem for anomaly13 since he likes doing it anyway) then he can do so. But no one else should do it for him even if he is 100% retractable. The reason is that it has to be relaxed to go back comfortably and if someone else is messing with it can cause it to get stuck behind the glans (paraphimosis) which is a bad thing. So only the owner of the penis should retract it.

Just wanted to make that clear to everyone lurking

Right, thank you. I didn't make that clear.

So, what should one do if dirty hands do get down there, immediately put him in the bath? Or just wait until next time he takes a bath/shower and ask him to wash it?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Waiting until the next bath is fine. Ds has his hands down there a lot and his hands are not always clean and he hasnt had a single issue since that one time. I think that maybe he might have scratched it and let the bacteria in. I have always had a terrible time keeping his nails cut short they grow so fast, wish mine grew like that. Neither of my kids take baths every night and never have without issue.

The next time he takes a bath is plenty fast enough to wash things off. His body will take care of itself without help the majority of time.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X 

The next time he takes a bath is plenty fast enough to wash things off. His body will take care of itself without help the majority of time.

That's what I thought. I figure that if things are left the way they are supposed to be, no special treatment is needed.

[anomaly13]

THANK YOU MAMAS!  

My questions and concerns have been so kindly addresses.  I do believe ds2 has been retracting in the bath, which is 2-3 times a week, but I will ask him from now on to "uncover your peens" while he is bathing to be sure it happens.