Do you hide your SEX books from your kids?

[Koalamom]

My kids are little, 3 and almost 2. I could put books that were personal matter on my night stand by my bed and now my kids are really into pulling books off and looking at them. There are some really graphic pictures and when they can read, some really descriptive details. Do I hide these or let them be out and around? Or should I put them on the large bookshelf in the dining room where all the other books are? And if you would put sex books on a public shelf, would you be embarrassed if your friends or mother came over and saw them?

[cateerob]

I did put them away when my kids got old enough to take an intrest..mainly becuase i did not want them pulling them out and showing them to thier friends on playdates. although we have always been open about sex some parents are not and its not my place to let thier kids see stuff they dont approve of. Also i did not want them seeing/reading the more graphic things when they were young. Now they are teenagers they would be mortifed if they thought thier parents were having anything to with sex...lol

[One_Girl]

I hid mine away when my dd was little.  I am fine with her knowing about sex and plan to take her to the sex education classes through Planned Parenthood, but I don't think she needs to go deeply in detail with the positions and such until she is much older so I put them away. 

[treeoflife3]

I'm all for my kid knowing what sex is, but I personally don't find it appropriate for our family to introduce her to different positions and anything of a more pornographic nature than an educational nature.  I personally keep anything of that kind of adult nature hidden away.  If she is anything like I was as a kid, eventually she'll go snooping and find them ANYWAY, but until that age where she thinks about snooping through my things I don't feel she needs to know graphic details of the pleasure of sex other than the vague idea that sex happens to be quite pleasurable which is why adults do it for fun and not just with the goal of making babies.  I can't tell if what you mean by sex book is basically lit porn or if you are talking about things similar to the kama sutra idea (instructional) but both are more pornographic in nature to me than just teaching the biology of sex which is all I care to introduce to kiddo for a few years.

[Linda on the move]

I've always been very frank with my kids, but I would keep the kind of books you are describing away from children. Age appropriate books about sex are fine, but those just aren't age appropriate. And no, I wouldn't put store books on such a personal nature in a public area of the house either.

Knowing the facts of life are one thing, learning how to keep a long term relationship spicy is completely different.

[beenmum]

The romance novels are in my room on a bookshelf. My kids coudl care less.

I was reading those same novels from grade one and on. I took them to school and my teachers ended up calling my mum. My mum said that as long as I could actually read them she saw no harm in them.

Would I let my kids read them..nope. But do I hide them like they are shameful, nope.

ETA: Are we talking Kama sutra stuff? THAT is completely different and i would place that on a high shelf.

[goinggreengirl]

I agree with everyone else. I want my kids to have the basic information but they do not need to know all the different possible positions! Keep up high and out of sight!

[kriket]

I think I agree with PPs. We don't have romance novels or pornography (my nook locks ) but we do have a karma sutra, and I think one a sister gave me about sex and.... astrology? I keep those in my office, no one goes there. Not because it's off limits, it's just boring. I'm not sure if I would hide books on sex or not. I probably would. I remember I gave my middle sister nude playing cards for her 18th bday, and my then 12yo sister (or her friend, we don't know)  took them to school. I would just want to avoid situations like that.

[treeoflife3]

are you talking about the big red book called sexstrology?  I had that, it wasn't really that much about sex.  I bought it in high school and it was more about which sign you are most compatible with and stuff.  If we are thinking of the same thing (because I can totally see a book that talks about the best positions to try for each sign haha) then that wouldn't bother me being out for kids to see.  No worse than the love/crush story lines seen in about every single show and tv.. even in many kids books.  a bit more adult but I don't recall anything that would make me uncomfortable.
 

Originally Posted by kriket 

I think I agree with PPs. We don't have romance novels or pornography (my nook locks ) but we do have a karma sutra, and I think one a sister gave me about sex and.... astrology? I keep those in my office, no one goes there. Not because it's off limits, it's just boring. I'm not sure if I would hide books on sex or not. I probably would. I remember I gave my middle sister nude playing cards for her 18th bday, and my then 12yo sister (or her friend, we don't know)  took them to school. I would just want to avoid situations like that.

[Aubergine68]

When I was 7 or 8, I stumbled across my parents' hidden collection of naughty reading material and read it avidly - they never found out.  It had a negative and unhealthy effect on my developing sexuality, and I really wish I'd never seen the stuff.  

When my oldest started to read, I purged our house of *everything* I would not want to read with her or discuss with her at some point. I got rid of some antique stuff that was racist and sexist as well as some material that I thought was overly sexual.  I'm not a prude - I still have literature with naughty bits, including the odd romance novel.  But the value of it as literature had to be there.

[UnschoolnMa]

It would depend on the book I think. Though I can't say I'd ever really "hide" a book, I might put some subject matter that was really in depth or that might be visually confusing/overwhelming away a bit from a wee one. :)

[new2this]

Romance novels and the like are on the normal book shelf in the office now. 

Sex type books are in our bedroom drawer and just always there. Not sure if we will move them or not. But I don't keep them out in the open just because I don't like the clutter on my night stand and its not like they get read all the time type thing.

[Pepe]

This is an interesting discussion...and it reminded me that when DS was a baby/toddler, one of the little ones in his "playgroup" (which was mamas bringing babies together so we didn't go totally insane in a cold winter) pulled a graphic kama sutra-type book off of our bookshelf.  I didn't know the other moms all that well, so it was a funny and awkward moment. 

I agree with the idea of putting such books aside, at least until later on.

[weliveintheforest]

If I had any, I would hide them, probably in my night stand.  

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest 

If I had any, I would hide them, probably in my night stand.  

It sounds like the  OPer's children are going through her night stand. I would put them on a high shelf in a closet.

[onlyzombiecat]

What books we have that are all about sex and would be graphic and inappropriate for dd to see are in a box on the high shelf in my closet. Nothing we have is negative but more detailed than I want to share with my child yet.

If the book is a normal fiction book with a sex scene in it then it goes on the bookshelf.

I'm more concerned about people/kids seeing dh's book titled The History of Torture and Execution than a book about sex.

[Lisa1970]

I don't have sex books...I did not know they really existed, unless you mean, like...magazines like Playboy, but it does not sound like you mean that.

Maybe I need to look around more when I am at the book store.

I never hid my pregnancy books which had a lot in them. Those books were all over my son's reading list in 1st grade where they made us write down what our children read and send it in. Apparently, the school passed around my son's lists because it was that interesting. LOL 

[Koalamom]

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 

When I was 7 or 8, I stumbled across my parents' hidden collection of naughty reading material and read it avidly - they never found out.  It had a negative and unhealthy effect on my developing sexuality, and I really wish I'd never seen the stuff.  

When my oldest started to read, I purged our house of *everything* I would not want to read with her or discuss with her at some point. I got rid of some antique stuff that was racist and sexist as well as some material that I thought was overly sexual.  I'm not a prude - I still have literature with naughty bits, including the odd romance novel.  But the value of it as literature had to be there.

Would you mind going more into this? If you are not comfortable it is ok.

[Koalamom]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I normally would not even be asking this as I was struggling with my own sexuality as I was not allowed to even say the word sex growing up and was taught it was evil. I am only now changing my ways and have purchased sex books as a way to finally overcome my issues. I realized that the way I was raised thinking that sex was evil and the only sex book my parents had I found and read and it was thrown out right when they found out. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that sex is evil and now I don't even know what to teach. I don't have playboy magazines but more like books called Aphrodites Daughters - a book about womens empowerment spiritually through sexuality. It has no pictures but it does have some pretty descriptive stories through the whole book. Or another book about womens anatomy of arousal and it mainly has pictures of a womans vagina not a totally sexy picture book. Should a kid even see this? I don't want my kids to grow up like I did and want my dd especially to be proud of her womanhood someday. I don't want to pull the books out one day when the kids are 16 and say "surprise!" A whole other world you don't know about.

[Koalamom]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

I don't have sex books...I did not know they really existed, unless you mean, like...magazines like Playboy, but it does not sound like you mean that.

Maybe I need to look around more when I am at the book store.

I never hid my pregnancy books which had a lot in them. Those books were all over my son's reading list in 1st grade where they made us write down what our children read and send it in. Apparently, the school passed around my son's lists because it was that interesting. LOL 

Interesting. I don't hide my pregnancy books or breastfeeding books and they do have lots of pictures. Why wouldn't we hide those? Wouldn't it be nice if labor could be sexy and feel good- oh then we would for sure hide those books too. lol!