Spring IVF - Come and join the journey! - Page 3

[BellyBean]

Prim, I was starting to wonder where you were...but got distracted by this mess before I ever wrote!  So happy you get to do another transfer next week!  I think your plan of number to transfer sounds good and a "safe" amount of risk vs. outcome.

Taxlady, welcome!  You are moving quick!  LUCKY!  Keep us posted.

Lyndi - 11 eggs sounds very promising!!!  Can't wait to hear how those little embies are doing!

Kewpie, so glad you are getting started!!!

Keira, still thinking about you too :)

Missme, I swear your 2ww seems longer than mine was!  I am so excited for you.

AFM, today was an emotional rollercoaster. Not sure how many of you remember, but we haven't shared our IF journey with anyone in real life.  Well, I lost my better judgement and told a few friends about what happened (not the IF part, just the ectopic).  My 2 closest friends have been AMAZING but I have a "good" friend who I told, because she was already planning on coming to my house and I figured it would be better to be open about it.  We had been exchanging FB messages for a few days (trying to set this up - obviously still up in the air), well after I told her about what happened she completely stopped responding.  My feelings were so hurt, I cried most of the day.  A huge group of my friends are getting together tonight for St. Patricks and I have this overwhelming fear they are going to talk about me behind my back.  I know it's not rational, and probably from all the hormones and drugs, but I can't shake it.  I feel so lucky to have you ladies, you always know what to say to make me feel better and like everything is okay and normal.  I can't thank you all enough for really being here for me during this very low time.

[Taxlady]

Thank you for the help Blueyezz - I don't know anything.. I feel so uninformed.

Belly - I know the feeling about having friends disappear when you need them.  AND feeling like people are talking behind your back, but really if they are talking about you.. they are concerned.  Just like we are.. I hope you feel better.

This thread is harder to keep up with than the 30's somethings I belonged to because there are so many more things involved with IVF.  But I'll try to keep up.. thank you for the supportiveness.. 

[Kewpie80]

Primi - I've got you updated on the first page.  Congrats on your FET!  Do you know yet when your Beta will be?  Sticky dust to you!

Blue - woohoo! SO excited for you!

[Kewpie80]

Belly - SO sorry to hear about your unsupportive friend.  :(  Perhaps your friend who stopped responding just doesnt know what to say and is afraid of saying the wrong thing. and I agree with taxlady that if your friends talk about you it's probably because they are concerned for you.  During my ivf journey, pretty much only my husband's mom and one of his sisters ever talks to us.  I do have 1 friend that is pretty supportive and is careful about what she says to be fair. But I know what it feels like to feel abandoned too.   Hugs to you girl!  We are here for you.  If you ever need to talk just to get things out, feel free to PM me.  

[primipara]

Belly--I second what Kewpie said. Like I mentioned I've told a fair number of people. Some people magically know what to say and some people UNmagically do NOT know what to say. I bet your friend is just confused and overwhelmed by your news. it sucks sometimes but sometimes you have to make the effort to communicate to tell people how to support you.

Kewpie-Thanks for adding me! G-d willing the beta will be on the 29th AND it will be a POSITIVE beta.

Taxlady - Welcome! Any questions, I'm a research fiend.

Blue- Yay! you're on your way.

AFM: Transfer scheduled for 22nd at 1pm. Started my first progesterone shot last night, whoo did not miss doing that! I'm hanging out with my parents and sister this weekend, really looking forward to having some fun with them. Still battling a cold.

And, not in the spirit of negativity, but for a little laugh I thought I would post some of the dumbest "supportive" things people have said to me.

"Oh, did you see this article about yoga & fertility?" -- From a preggo friend who's never done yoga in her life; i've been doing yoga since I was 11.

"Aww, look at this, they want to know if you're pregnant (makes a "sad face")"--my mother in law, taking me for a massage to "cheer me up."

"Wow, it's so terrible for you, you can't even go clothes shopping to forget about it because you might not fit in the clothes in a few months!" --Mothers in law, you can't make it up!

"Did it hurt your feelings when I sent you pictures of your cousins?"--my aunt...my cousins are not adorable babies. They are between 6 and 13 years old! 

Anyone else got some zingers?

[Kewpie80]

primi - Yep, I do.  

From SIL: God must want you to learn something before he'll be willing to send you children 

From friend: XXXX is having twins, maybe she'll give you one

from friend: why dont you "just adopt?"

From a stupid person trying to solicit business from the fertility clinic: Wow you can cut the tension in here with a knife... I guess it's cause you're all infertile.

From friend: are you sure you're doing it right?

from friend the morning after our miscarriage: You're so young, there will be MANY more babies for you.

from friend: want one of my kids?

from SIL: you're lucky to not have any kids.  you dont have to deal with any of the crap

from friend: I am SO happy being a mother.  Nothing is better in this world.  (she says this while repeatedly handing me her bottle of breast milk for me to get inspiration from)

from BIL: so when are you gonna get pregnant already?  MY KIDS want cousins!

need I go on?

[primipara]

kewpie--oh my gosh these are AWFUL.

[Kewpie80]

My BIL and SIL mentioned above are married to each other and I dont have to see them often.  The wife and I dont get along at all.  She's made horrible comments about my weight and other things.  She's just not a nice person.  My BIL said that laughingly as a joke, but I of course didn't take it that way.

Most of the friend comments are from one friend in particular.  Anytime I'd call her out on her insensitivity, she'd start crying and run to her husband.  Needless to say, we rarely talk anymore.

The rest are just from well meaning people who just don't understand.  They still sting, but I feel better knowing that at least going through this has made me a more compassionate person (at least I think I am)

[BellyBean]

Kewpie, you are a VERY compasionate person!!  (and probably were before IF!!)

Prim/Kewpie, I can't believe some of the things people will say!    It's like they have no common sense!   If only people would consider how their words can hurt someone...

[lyndiramos]

We have decided that we wont tell anyone for a little while if I do get a BFP because we don't want to hear the stupid things they will say.  I just know that my husbands side of the family will say crazy things and they are very nosey!  

I got the call today about my little eggies.  They got 11 eggs 9 were mature, 8 were fertilized with ICSI so they will be transfering 2 perfect little embryos tomorrow morning at 9am.  Then the wait begins!!  I feel like we have made it over all the hurtles now just the last one!!

[Keria]

Lyndi hoping everything goes well with your transfer tomorrow.

Very few people know abut us having MFI but out of the people that know I've gotten:

A firend: Have you considered having a one night stand and then just pretend it's your DH's

Another  friend: You should feed you DH more seafood and shellfish.

A friend of mine who happens to be gay: I will give you my sperm if you give me one baby ( I never asked him to be a donor BTW)

And now for my update: the thing is still there but it's small she said it;s small enough it should not interfere with implantation and she does not think that's the reason the baby did not stick last time, but if this cycle does not work we'll  remove it anyways. For now My IUI is planned for sunday.

[BellyBean]

Keira, wow I can't believe the one night stand comment! *jaw drop*  I am so excited for your IUI Sunday!  It's so close!  Sending super sticky vibes!

Lyndi - 2 perfect blasts tomorrow sounds fantastic!  Praying for your BFP!

I just have so much love for you ladies, you help keep me grounded and positive. 

[blueyezz4]

Belly - Just sending you hugs...  I'm sorry to hear about your "friends" and that situation.  I know it is so hard to know who to talk to and who not to tell.  Hopefully your friend will come around and surprise you.  I wouldn't worry about what others think right now and I know it is hard especially w/ hormones flowing, but you just need to think about yourself right now and take care of you. 

Primi & Kewpie - Thanks!!!

Primi - Oh man your MIL sounds like a piece of work!!! So sorry!!!  Good luck with your transfer!  I'm excited for you!!  Keep us posted.

Kewpie - Does your family know that you guys have had IF issues?  My  BIL used to ask us if we had a "bun in the oven" until he found out we were having IF issues and then once they knew it wasn't as easy for us as it was for them he was more understanding and stopped asking. 

Lyndi - so good to hear your new about your embies!! Yeah!!!  Fingers crossed for you tomorrow morning!!!  Stick embies, stick!!!

Keria - OMG... the one night stand comment!!  Wow!!

[Kewpie80]

Lyndi - Good luck!!!!  I'll be thinking of you.

Keria - oh dear... that one night stand made my jaw drop too.  Good luck on sunday!

Blue - to be honest, I don't remember if they knew yet or not.  I've been married going on 12 years and it's all kinda fuzzy after a while KWIM? We've gone back and forth between "not seeming like we have a chance in the world" to "well, maybe THIS new treatment will work."  If I had to guess, it was probably after we had tried clomid, but before the surgery and IFV.  We hadnt told many about the clomid, so who knows. Technically we're still trying clomid, but it's my DH taking it.  He has varicocele and it's supposed to help.  I was very surprised when I saw the Rx.  lol  

[jenger]

Lurker Alert, Lurker Alert...

(It's me, I'm the lurker...)

Too funny ('cause if you don't laugh, you are going to cry) about the CRAZY insensitive things people say.  I *just* wrote a blog post about it. I am new to blogging, but it's been a great way to get the negative, dark stuff out...

[Keria]

I'm ovulating super early so that worries me a little bit doctor says it's nothing to worry about and can't find anything in doctor google, I only ended up stimming for 5 days.

The one night stand I don't know if she was joking or not , she was asking about the money and I was telling her how much we had spent so far and she just said it, I was shocked so I didn't say anything, then she said my all time favorite I could never do what you are doing,  People have no idea if they can do it or not until you are in a position where you have to do it.

[BellyBean]

Keira, Dr. Blue will probably have the best answer, but I agree with your doctor that ovulating a couple days early isn't a big deal as long as you are being closely monitored with u/s so the IUI timing is right.  Plus, you'll get to test a couple days earlier!!!   GOOD LUCK and GO SWIMMERS!

[BellyBean]

Hi Jenger, glad you posted!  I also checked out your blog.  It sure would be nice if everyone had that information

Also, hello to everyone (especially the lurkers who need our support too)!   

[missme]

Hi everyone! - These insensitivity stories are awful! I'm single, so no one suspects that I'm TTC, so thankfully I've been spared most of that! My friends and family who know have been supportive - the only problem I've had is with friends I'm close to having babies of their own and NOT asking how I'm doing. But in most of those cases, I've just taken a deep breath, jumped in and told them my updates anyway.

Keria - Will be thinking of you tomorrow! Very excited, and I wouldn't worry about O-ing early. If you're being monitered, the doc will see when they're ready to pop. What are you on for stims? On Femara and clomid (and in not-stimed cycles) I ovulated pretty early. Were you on suppression, too?

Bellybean - How are you feeling? xoxo agian!

LyndiRamos - so pleased about your number of embies! How did your transfer go? Welcome to 2ww World!!!

Primipara - Good luck on your transfer - the 22nd is soon! So sorry you're on the shots! Everytime I get annoyed by the constant flow of chalky paste leaking from my v., I thank my lucky stars that I'm not on the shots!!! That probably doesn't make you fell any better, LOL! Sorry!!

Kewpie - Just wanted to send you an extra hug for having to deal with such an unsupportive family. It makes my brain hurt to think of people being so un-nice!! So hugs to you, my dear!!! xoxo

[missme]

Dr, Blue - Glad your US went well and that you're on the road to transfer. It's been a long winter, so glad we're all moving on to spring!

Taxlady - I don't think I said welcome, so Welcome!

AFM - Yesterday I started to feel a little short of breath again, and today I'm definitely more bloated than the past few days. I'm hoping that my OHSS is coming back cause I'm pregnant!!! My sister keeps reminding me to take it easy and DRINK lots, i.e. not to induce symptoms so I feeeeel pregnant. She's right. But I'm so excited!!! This may weaken my resolve not to POAS. Yikes!