Not liking "A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children"

[Galatea]

http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707529/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1300031271&sr=8-3

This book gets a very high review on Amazon, but I am not at all enjoying it.  It is so focused on school, and authority, and obedience... I feel like it is trying to turn out good little worker bees.  Has anyone else read it and found it to be helpful?  B/c otherwise, I'm just selling it.

[quaz]

Webb's book??

It has been a while since I've read it, but it is definitely one I've recommended to people, because it covers a WIDE range of topics that are very related to gifted kids. I did not get the impression of "good little worker bees" at all. I've listed to the Webbs give talks probably about 4 times now.  They are so far from trying to turn out 'good little worker bees', I just am not sure how that is coming across in the books.

Some of my favorite items that they have mentioned in talks... while there isn't a universal characterisitic for gifted kids, if there was one it would be intensity.

One talk they did HIGHLY focused on how critical familial relationships were. They stated that for many kids the sole person that a gifted child could talk to and be understood by was their parent. We were the people that they could share their numerous ideas, which often was not something they could do with teachers/peers/etc.  Because of that it was so critical to keep that relationship with our child in tact. They are strong believers in 1:1 time with the child each day, where we are there with the child doing what the child wants to do (non-competitive).

The amazon description mentions this....

Characteristics of gifted children; Peer relations; Sibling issues; Motivation & underachievement; Discipline issues; Intensity & stress; Depression & unhappiness; Educational planning; Parenting concerns; Finding professional help; and much, much more!

Yes, it does cover topics like discipline and school, but it covers a number of other topics.

I think any good gifted books about parenting gifted kids HAS to cover those topics. Disciplining/teaching a gifted child can be HIGHLY different than a non-gifted child. Typical methods of handling issues that arise, that might work with a non-gifted child, sometimes are miserable failures with gifted kids.

As for school/learning, that is often a huge concern for parents. Traditional schooling often does not work for HG+ kids. I headed another gifted board for a few years, and the majority of issues/concerns that came up were school related. It didn't matter if the kids was in school, homeschooled, or in a gifted class, there was always school related questions. Questions ranging from motivation, underachievement, acceleration, advocation, etc. etc.

At the same time, I do recall the book talking about motivation, peer relations, intensity/stress. It was one of the only books I've seen that discusses reactive hypoglycemia and the gifted child.

I see their books as less about 'worker bees', but one of the few books out there that tries to give parents practical advice to some of the practical problems they face with gifted kids, and covering a variety of topics about parenting a gifted child.

Of course, that was just my perspective. It sounds like you have a different one. Everyone reads things differently based on their experiences and that is fine.

I think the question is what sort of book are you looking for? There are a number of good gifted books out there, but beyond that, there are a number of good articles. I think personality of the child and age of the child also impacts what books one finds useful.

Tammy

[joensally]

Hmmm... how far into it are you?  I recall liking it and it made points that aren't in other books I've read. 

The vast majority of gifted kids in western societies are in group schooling of some kind, so it makes sense that this would come up as this is the primary context of most children outside of home/family.  And a lot of schools kind of are about making worker bees.

[Roar]

My take on the book is totally different. We are homeschoolers and believers in gentle discipline. I found the book respectful of children and parents and a good fit with our family's values. I found the book to be by far the best one I've read on gifted kids.

[Galatea]

I'm on the chapter about sibling relationships.

I felt like every other sentence in the beginning was about just accepting the school experience as being less-than-good and trying to preserve the rest of the child's life as positive.  This really irritated me, as I have recently become very angry about my own school experience.  At the same time, it seems like a lot of the problems that they address at least partially come from the very fact of being in a school.  Again, this may be about where I am at with processing my own PG childhood.

The parts on discipline and relationships were repetitive and obvious.  This may be b/c I have no experience with non-gifted children and our children have always been pleasant and easy, for the most part, so I don't know what other parents or families do.  Not trying to sound obnoxious - I just never really spend time around other children and so have no basis for comparison.  I also feel that like many parenting books and society in general, waaaay too much emphasis is put on the parents being solely responsible for the child's life success and happiness, as though there is a magic recipe for success.  My parents made mistakes with me, and yet that was not the end of the world, as I have developed the capacity to take care of myself and grow through things.  In families with multiple children, each turns out differently, despite the same parents and 25% same genes.

Maybe it is b/c ds1 is not in school (is HSed) and is only 7, so much of it seems inapplicable.  I don't know what I am looking for, to be honest.  I'm just in the phase where I have a new problem to work on and so am gathering information to then brew for awhile.

I will persist, since you guys seem to like it!  My problem is that I always have to read things straight through from beginning to end, even though that is not particularly efficient!  I will give myself permission to skip the parts I don't like.

[zebra15]

http://www.amazon.com/Guiding-Gifted-Child-Practical-Teachers/dp/B000X4QFX4/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_3 

Try this one...

[Roar]

Originally Posted by Galatea 

I'm on the chapter about sibling relationships.

I felt like every other sentence in the beginning was about just accepting the school experience as being less-than-good and trying to preserve the rest of the child's life as positive.  This really irritated me, as I have recently become very angry about my own school experience.  At the same time, it seems like a lot of the problems that they address at least partially come from the very fact of being in a school.  Again, this may be about where I am at with processing my own PG childhood.

My recollection was that there was quite a lot in the book about choosing schools and about advocating within a school setting so I didn't read it as an endorsement of just giving up. To me it seems like it would be a very big oversight to not focus a lot of discussion on schools in a book about gifted kids as the vast majority of kids do go to school. If you are looking for something that talks about gifted kids and homeschooling you might want to search under Lisa Rivero or David Albert.

My take on parenting books is - take what works and leave the rest. Some of what you leave may never interest you, some of it you may come back to later as your kids mature. Whenever I read stuff about school being difficult I just think "hooray, we don't have to hassle with that."  Part of why the sections on discipline and behavior resonated with me is that we have spent quite a lot of time with gifted kids including many who struggled with difficult behaviors. The message I got from the book is that it is important to understand how giftedness shapes behavior and experience, but that isn't the end point. You still need to find ways to deal with it.

[labdogs42]

I'm reading this book right now and so far, I'm enjoying it.  I have been skipping to the chapters that interest me, though, so maybe I've missed the "worker bee" parts!  I also skipped the sibling chapter because I have an only child.  Maybe try jumping around in the chapters and maybe you'll find some more useful nuggets in there.  I really think this is a great book!