7 yr old stole money.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Last night, we stayed at my sil. I have a nephew who is the same age as my son, 7yrrs old. Well, last night, a bunch of nickles fell out of his pockets. I didn't really think much of it, because he has a bank and sometimes he likes to carry it with him.

Then this morning, he asked me to hold on to the nickles for him. It was $2 worth of quarters. So, I began to get suspicious. I asked him where he got it, and he told me the tooth fairy left it for him. Umm, no. The tooth fairy left you $5 in cash, not $2 in nickles. So eventually, it all came out. So I told him that he would have to call his cousin and apoligise and return the money.

I tried to talk to him about the fact that stealing isn't nice. How would he feel if someone stole his money. He said he would be sad, but he really didn't seem to fell bad about stealing the money. So, is there anything else I should have said? Is this something that kids do? My older two never did as far as I know!

[DariusMom]

I think it's something they start doing around this age. DS stole some string and things from school. I was very upset with him and watched that he returned the items and apologized to the teacher the next morning. He had just turned 8 at the time. I remember stealing a candy bar from a store at around the age of 6 or 7 and taking a few other things, as well.

I think you did the right thing by talking to him about how he would feel and making him apologize. I don't think it's a permanent blemish on their characters, though! At least I hope not, because I think of myself as a very honest person and I stole at around this age.

[Marsupialmom]

It is a very normal, yet undesirable behavior in 7 year olds.  

Relax he isn't in for a life of crime. 

What you said was great!  You also need to make him give what he stole back.  And if he is not sure how much then you need to have him do an over estimation.  

I remember my mom dragging me back into the store and making me apologize.  She paid for the candy.  I had to do extra chores to pay her back.  

[seashells]

I was accused of stealing something at age 7, boy I sure remember that.

I think you did fine but honestly if it were me and my daughter, I would not feel right if she didn't feel bad about it. I would probably crank up the volume on the issue if I thought she blew it off, but that's just me, and not necessarily the right thing to do. If I thought she felt bad, then it would be 100% over for me and I wouldn't worry about it anymore.

[velochic]

I'm not following the story.  You talk about "nickles" falling out of "his" pocket.  Whose pocket? Whose bank?  And then the "nickels" are "quarters" in the next paragraph.  I'm still not following whose money is whose and what actually happened.  I suppose that's not that important as long as you're sure the money wasn't his and it was stolen.

However, could it be that the money is actually his?

If the money is not his, then I think the simple act of returning it is enough - it will probably be a good deterrent for the future.  Sounds like you've already had a good, pointed and low-key conversation.  I wouldn't give it a ton of attention, as that might be the goal.  In that case, I'd talk about positive ways of getting attention.  Good luck!

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Sorry I wasn't clearer. My son stole nickles from his cousin. And no, it can't be his.

[One_Girl]

I think the conversation you had is a good one, though I would suggest adding extension questions and asking him how he thinks his cousin feels after he identifies how he would feel.  Sometimes my dd will seem to be blowing something up because she knows she was really wrong and feels badly but isn't sure how to show it.  I think that you should hold yourself back from scolding more now and just make him return the money.  If he does this again I suggest taking it up a notch and expressing your disappointment with his choice at that point then having him stay in your sight the entire time you visit for a few visits to make sure he doesn't develop a habit.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by One_Girl 

I think the conversation you had is a good one, though I would suggest adding extension questions and asking him how he thinks his cousin feels after he identifies how he would feel.  Sometimes my dd will seem to be blowing something up because she knows she was really wrong and feels badly but isn't sure how to show it.  I think that you should hold yourself back from scolding more now and just make him return the money.  If he does this again I suggest taking it up a notch and expressing your disappointment with his choice at that point then having him stay in your sight the entire time you visit for a few visits to make sure he doesn't develop a habit.

This! This is what I forgot to discuss with him! I just asked him how he would feel, and I didn't take it that next step to have him actually think about how his cousin feels. at myself! I think this would really make the connection, and may be part of the reason that he didn't seem like he felt that badly about it. Thank you! I am going to talk to him about that part tomorrow!