OK, how do you feel about gay teens in relationships? - Page 3

[Rhonwyn]

I have gay friends who when looking back could tell that they were gay when they were children but none of them really fixed on an orientation until they hit puberty.

My kids just don't seem to have a preference other than liking to play with particular toys. They play equally well with boys and girls but will choose friends of the same sex to play with if given the choice. It will be interesting to see how things unfold not that it really matters to me. As long as they are happy, I will be happy.

I guess I just can't imagine my son at 9 coming up to me and saying I like boys and want to marry a boy anymore than I can imagine him saying I like girls and want to marry a girl. My daughter has already told me she likes girls better but her behavior around my son's friends is downright flirtatious.

Anyway, when the time comes the same rules will apply to each whether they are dating girls, boys or both. They will be able to date but no closed bedroom doors. They will each get the same talk about condoms and protecting themselves.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Upset? Hey, to me, there seem to be a number of ADVANTAGES to my dd being gay. (She's not 4 yet, so I have no idea who or what she'll be interested in.)

However, if my dd were gay, here are things I see as advantages:

1. NO RISK of unmarried teenage motherhood!!!

2. TEENY risk of AIDS compared to the risks she'd run with a hetero dude.

3. REDUCED chance of being sexually or physically abused -- at least she'd be with someone closer to her own size.

4. A good chance she and her partner would mutually double each other's wardrobes!

Okay, what's not to like? If they want kids, they can always go the Melissa Etheridge route (but not, one hopes, using David Crosby's sperm.)

[Marsupialmom]

4. A good chance she and her partner would mutually double each other's wardrobes!


Then they will argue over who wears what when. LOL

The girlfriend will put holes in her socks and runs in her stockings.

So that one is not always a good thing.

[marymom]

OMGosh great thread, glad it was bumped again
I think when I last wrote was like 6 months ago, and my daughter was still gay...well now she is bi...but is seriously doing some thinking about her sexual orientation at least I see her writing alot about it...
I'm thinking that current society is pretty ok with girls with girls AND boys, (which is currently my daughters thing, she has a friend/boy who she says is saving himself <who knows> and girlfriends...and admittedly, I was easier about the door being shut with her and a girl, than her and a boy...but Ive switched over to no doors shut (unless it is to keep out unruly siblings and then Im popping in if the mood looks romantic or...sexual) but
that doesnt keep them from making out and experimenting doing whatever...
My daughter wants to start a gay/straight alliance at her school, we live in a small town, her best friend's parents (he is gay- self defined and seems pretty sure of himeself since about 13-14) have a really hard time with their son being gay, at first he was so depressed I suspected suicidal tendencies, but he has come a long way, and so have his parents, sexual orientation is a very sensitive area, his parents, his mom, loves him sooooo much, and really had a good strong attachment with him so forth and so on, but is truly terrified that her son is gay, she has told me (and unfortunaltly him) that he will be beat up and raped if he is gay so he can't be (no wonder the kid was depressed?)
We have tried to show her other views and over the last year or two I think she hasreally mellowed, but I don't know...
just rambling here...
~mary

[LovinMyKids]

Your son is very lucky to have such a supportive mama. i would hope that I would be the same way.

[polka123]

I would not have a problem at all

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by doulamomvicki

Quote:
9!!!! My son is 9 and he doesn't even know what sex is yet. He knows where babies come from but not how they get there. I can't imagine him declaring an orientation at 9. We have told both our kids that families come in all shapes and sizes so they know about Mom-Moms and Dad-Dads but neither has expressed a preference. It has been hard explaining the marriage thing but they don't seem too concerned about it. It is more likely that my daughter will be gay than my son. She has always preferred girls but at the same time she flirts shamelessly with her older brother's friends. I haven't worried about it. We will just accept whatever they declare when the time comes.
Today 06:31 AM

I have suspected my son was gay from the time he was five. He says he knew he was "different "his whole life" and knew he was gay when he was 9.

:

Delurking for a minute.
When I was really young, in daycare at around 3 or 4, there was this little boy in with me named Keith. Keith was very different then the other boys, even the really, really shy ones. You couldn't really put your finger on it, he just was. He also really liked to do things like dress up in the girl's play clothes, and wear high heels.
He was my friend for a long, long time off and on. When he was ten he asked me if I thought he was gay. I did, but I thought maybe he was asking me because he was feeling uncomfortable so I said, "I don't know". He wanted me to be his girlfriend to 'make sure', since he knew me well.
So, it didn't work out. :LOL I think he kissed me once, and had a dramatic, public 'break up'. He didn't date another girl, ever. He officially came out when he was around 13 but we lived in a small community our entire lives and EVERYONE knew he was gay since he was a toddler.
You don't have to be aware of yourself as a sexual being to know if you're gay, or bi, or straight.

How did YOU know you were straight at 20? At 15? Or even at 10? Sometimes you really just 'know'.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by dado

not in that situation, so i'm having a hard time imagining, well, what else are you going to do? cut your kid off? i mean, seriously, is there anybody here would actually ostracize their kid because they were a practicing homosexual?

That's exactly what happened to a friend of mine in high school. His mom and stepdad basically abandoned him and my mother basically took up the slack (though she wouldnt let him move in til he turned 18 to avoid legal issues.)

My 1st ex has a gay sister, and I've always thought of her partner as my sil (now ex sil) and as my kids' aunt since my first baby was born.

I have complete respect for choices that adults make. I will admit that I'd be dissapointed if my children make different lifestyle choices than I did (keeping a Kosher home, observing Orthodox Jewish Laws, etc) but I could never stop loving them, cut them out of my life, or disrespect choices they make for themselves after they become adults.

I'm not sure how I'd handle teenaged dating (hetero or homo) but I hopefully have a few years before I need to worry about that! I'm trusting that I'll know my children well enough to make appropriate decisions when we get there- just as, when my oldest was a baby, I couldn't fathom parenting a 10yo.

[meowee]

I dont think it's okay for teens to be having sex gay or non gay. There is too much risk physically, emotionally, and spritually involved.

Non sexual dating is ok IMO.

[craZmama]

First, I want to point out that teens today get involved with very risky relationships, gay or straight. I think there are a lot of kids who are experimenting...they don't think of themselves as gay or straight...they're bi and they will fool around w/ anyone.

I agree...teens really need to not be having sex. It's just too dangerous.

[thismama]

I don't understand the comments about teens need to not be having sex (I'm repeating someone verbatim but talking about all the comments along this line). Abstinence based sex ed programs, in my opinion, are naive, and so is this philosophy. Kids are sexual, and many will have sex. It could also be argued that adults need to not be having sex, but we do. Or that kids need to never go outside because it is dangerous.

I also don't see a direct connection between talk about teens having sex and teen sexual orientaiton.