My sympathies, MMM. If you look at my post above, it sounds like we're in similar situations. I try not to compare us to people I know are earning 2-3x what we are in our area, but it's hard. People do ask when we're going to buy a place, but as many people quietly confide to me that they either wish they hadn't bought due to the expense and hassle or even confess that they're having trouble with payments. The point is - for the OP, too (and I understand where she's coming from, too: we rent from my parents) - when the money's there, the time is right. Before that, it'll only bring grief.
How old were you when you bought your first home? - Page 4
I am curious to see how old people were when they purchased their first home. I got pregnant at 18 and H and I got married when I was 19 (and he was 21). For the past 6+ years we have lived with my mom (we pay her $500 rent) while we are saving to buy our own place but it still seems so far off. H just turned 28 and I'm about to turn 26. We now have 2 kids (6 and 1 yrs old). I have a B.A. but am currently staying home with DS.
I get along fine with my mom but sometimes I get depressed thinking that we are still living with her. I dream about decorating my own house and the kids having their own room and a yard to play in. My moms yard is all cement and not that inviting. Mostly, I feel like I am behind everybody else and that at this age we should have our own place but maybe I just feel that way because we began having kids and got married so young.
I can relate a bit to your post. I was 21 when we got married- we got pregnant during our engagement. My husband has lived with me & my family since he graduated high school. I will be 25 and he'll be 27 this year. We bought our home in late 2009 and have been renovating it since then. We will hopefully be in by the end of the year. The difference here is that they do not charge us any rent and they also buy a lot of our food, otherwise we probably wouldn't be able to afford to fix the house up and would be staying here a bit longer. I would also have to work, and I don't have to do that now. I'm so fortunate to be able to stay at home with our daughter. I know how you feel about feeling like you're behind everyone else. A lot of my friends are older and more financially stable than I am. It's hard to feel adequate sometimes. But you're really not alone. There's a lot of us who are at this place- and there are a lot of people who have had it all and lost it, or are just muddling through. I have hope because I think that I'm getting closer to my OWN. Everyone does it differently, and I feel like this was our right way, and it probably is your right way too.
I was 25 and dh 22 (no children yet), but we had a VA loan so we did not need a down payment. We are on our third house now (dh and I both have VA benefits so we were eligible for a lower rate on the first two homes) and plan to stay here until the children are grown.
Edited by Emmeline II - 3/20/11 at 7:28pm
We closed on our first house (a starter house, I suppose, a 2+ bedroom townhouse) a week after we returned from our honeymoon. I was 21, DH was 24. I'm glad we bought when we did because that was a short window of opportunity for us. We had both graduated from college by that time. DH was working full time and a part time job on the weekends. I was going to grad school full time and working part time on the weekends. And most importantly, we didn't have kids yet. If we had waited until after we had children to buy a house, I think it would've been MUCH more difficult for us to save the money for a down payment and closing costs.
In our case, we bought at just the right time. It was the housing boom, and 2 years later after DS1 had arrived, I had become a SAHM, and DH had gotten a few promotions/raises at work, we were able to use the equity in our rapidly-appreciating townhouse as a down payment for a single family house. I was 24, DH was 26 when we bought our second house.
And 6 years later, when we were the parents of 4 children and DH's salary had tripled vs. the entry level salary he had at the beginning of our marriage, the market was just starting to soften, but was still strong enough for us to use the the equity we had built up in our second house to buy a larger house out in the country. We were 30 & 32 when we bought our 3rd/current house. Although I really like our house, I don't necessarily look at it as our forever house. Unless something drastic happens, we will stay here until our children are grown (they're currently ages 7-11). I'm not positive I want to live here until I die- it's a big house and a LOT of property to maintain for just DH & I. I'd like a smaller house once we have an empty nest.
In any case, I agree with a PPer that the order you choose to do things in life makes a huge difference.
I'm 21, DH is 24, DS is 2, and we're hoping to be expecting another somewhere between feb and april(yay for returning fertility! boo for being on the other side of the world when fertility came back)
No intentions of buying a house anytime soon. We might rent out a bigger place, around fall 2011, and although we do hope to buy a house one day, it probably wont be for a good 15-20 years(we refuse to pay interest, so we'll either rent to own or pay cash). Makes me feel a lot better that so many of you are in your 40s and still don't have a house!
I was 28 when we bought our first (only) home. It is in my name. At that time a 900 square foot cottage seemed like a good idea with only a toddler. Now, we've got 5yo DD and 7yo DS and one bathroom. NOT ENOUGH SPACE for our family. And of course the kids are growing quickly. Realistically we don't have plans to move anytime soon tho.
We were 22 and 23. I'm honestly surprised that we were able to get a mortgage. We were both in grad school, I worked part time as a cashier and he had a small stipend. We didn't have any help, just our meager savings for the first time homeowner's mortgage down payment. Regardless, our monthly mortgage payment and utilities is was cheaper than our rent was, and most months we are now able to make double payments. It seemed a bit crazy at the time, but it was the best financial decision.
My husband and I were both 23 and pregnant with our second child. We had A LOT of help from his mom. I am 7 weeks pregnant with my third and all the sudden I realized I HATE being so far away from my family and I desperately wish we could just pick up and move in with my parents in California. We had planned to live here for quite some time and now I wish we hadn't done it. Honestly if my mother in law wouldn't be adversely affected I would sell for a loss and just leave. It's like we thought that a house and a yard and space and choosing our own paint colors was what we really wanted and now we realize that our relationships with our family have suffered, our children's relationships with their grandparents have suffered, and our marriage has suffered from all the stress of it all. What kills me is deep down there was something inside me telling me it was a bad idea when we were buying and now I wish I had listened. I wish I didn't own a house and still lived with my mother!
DH was 19 and I was 20 when we bought our house. We moved in on september 1st and got married september 7th! We are still in the same house because houses went WAY up in price. We paid $99,000 for the house we are in now, could sell it for $250,000 now and a house that would fit our needs would be $400,000. We are happy with our little morgage. :)
We got married when I was 20 (DH was 23) and had DD the same year. DH and I were both still in school and we lived in my in-laws' basement for the next year or so until DH graduated. When he found a job, we bought our house. I was 21, DH was 24. That was almost a year ago. I don't work, so we made sure to get something in our price range with just DH's income. Really though, we could get a whole house that's all ours for just over the amount we would pay to rent somewhere decent around here, so it was a smart move to make. Had to convince all the neighbors that we actually bought the house rather than inheriting it though (I'm guessing because of our ages). :-P
We are still waiting and we are 45 and 46, so I guess it may actually never happen. We lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for a long time, where it is pretty much impossible to buy a home on one income (and even when I was working we were planning on my staying home once we had kids). We now live in a slightly less expensive area, but it's still pretty hard unless your one income is high to buy a home here (Seattle area). We are going to move back to the San Francisco area, but are ultimately trying to find a somewhat crunchy area that isn't too outrageous. But it seems impossible to find a good combination of jobs and lower cost of living. Sigh.
DH and I were both 29 when we bought our first house.
When we were 31 and 32 when we sold it and bought the next house (relocation mostly, slight "upgrade").
When we were 38 we paid off the second house. This was a huge accomplishment and a bigger deal than buying IMHO.
In a couple weeks we hope to close and sell the second house and become happy renters again. (We have an odd set of circumstances that make renting feasible/attractive to us).
I don't think I could live with my mother (whom I get along with fabulously BTW) with kids as long as you have. I think I could live with my MIL about 2 days tops.
Edited by mnnice - 4/24/12 at 8:08am
I'm 29 and DH is 32... still no home for us! For the longest time, I couldn't fathom buying a house because that meant staying put. When we could have afforded it, we were living in a downtown metro area and i didn't want to buy there. Then we had kids and haven't had the money since. DH graduates soon so there's a good chance we'll buy in the next two years, but I'm so happy we didn't buy when we were younger. We would have be stuck somewhere we didn't want to live and would have been stuck with a mortgage that wouldn't have allowed me to be a stay at home mom. DH will be a teacher and will qualify for some good homebuyers discounts, so it looks like I may not have to go back to work full time in order to buy a house, which is our ideal situation.