limiting feedings/wakings

[mizznicole]

DS1 was a horrible sleeper from day 3. DS2 is a horrible sleeper now from month 3.  He would range between 2-5 wakings night, now it is every 30-45 minutes, 7 or 8 wakings. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He starts in the cradle and some nights will even get a 4 hour stretch in there.  Then I get him into bed with me - and forget it.  He's up constantly.

I tried putting him in the cradle after midnight last night but he woke up 30 minutes later - so I can't tell if this has to do with the time of night or bed sharing per se.

Is there anything you can do to limit night wakings and feedings in the family bed?  He basically wants to use me as the human pacifier.  I do offer a paci but it only works about 25% of the time to get him back to sleep.

[Knitting Mama]

For me, what worked was getting up-- physically up and out of bed-- so I was awake enough to make sure that she actually drank a full meal, not little sips. So it stinks to be fully awake at night, but she gets up less so I net more sleep. However, she has never been a high suck need baby, never wanted a paci, etc.

[Ravin]

With DD I just learned to sleep while being human pacifier.

[mizznicole]

Sadly, that doesn't work for me from experience.  We have to switch sides constantly because he gets bored with one side.  With DS1 the constant sleep deprivation led to PPD which I am very keen not to repeat.

Guess I have to learn how to get out of bed.

[Greenlea]

Ugh, I was just going to post about this!  My LO is 4mths old.  For the first 3 mths his was a very good sleeper.  For the past month I've been at my wits end trying to get him to sleep better at night.  The night before he was up, seriously EVERY HOUR!  He used to eat just fine with me laying on my side.  I guess not anymore.  Twice last night I finally got the motivation to sit up and use the boppy to nurse him.  Both times he ate better and then went right back to sleep, to the point where I could actually put him back in his cradle instead of needing him to come back into bed with me to stay alseep.

I'm guessing he may be the kind of baby that does not really want to co-sleep and would rather be by himself.

[gradstudentmommy]

Oh, the sleep deprivation is the worst! I was co-sleeping with my 6 month old and he was waking every 30-60 minutes and my depression was getting out of control. Last week we moved him to his crib in his bedroom. I started stretching out the feedings. So for example, the first night I nursed him not more than every 2 hours. The next night not more than every 2 1/2 hours. If he woke up and it wasn't time to nurse, I just comforted him because I knew he wasn't hungry. He wasn't very happy about the situation but I felt it was best for all of us to cut down the all-night sucking. I'm still willing to nurse him twice a night. I think that's reasonable for a 6 month old. My little guy has GERD and my gasto specialist has been really on me to stop nursing him all night long since it aggravates his reflux. And as I said, my depression was SKYROCKETING from the sleep deprivation.

So after a week, he went from waking every 30 minutes to not more than every 3 hours! He's even had some 6 hour stretches. Last night he only nursed once! He woke up briefly two other times but I just went to him and patted him and he went back to sleep. I really think the nursing all night was causing the constant wakings. And I think we were waking him up by co-sleeping. He seems to sleep better in his crib. And his reflux seems better too.

I'm ALL for co-sleeping and unlimited nursing but it just wasn't working for us and this seems to be a good compromise for our family. If you wanted to keep co-sleeping, you could still put limits/boundaries on the nursing. Mamas need their sleep. It's not a luxury, it's a necessity. I also have a special needs 3 year old and I was so sleep deprived and cranky, I couldn't properly parent her. I was going to have to go on anti-depressants and/or wean but now that I'm getting more sleep, I can soldier on!

Edited by gradstudentmommy - 3/15/11 at 9:20am

[new2this]

At around 3/4 months if not sooner I realized DD no long slept as good being in bed with us. It sucked. She always started the night out in her pack n play once she started getting more routine. After the first feeding she was in bed with us till morning. None of us got any sleep anymore. No matter what we tried. So we went to me having to get up feed her while laying down and when she unlatched I would wake up and put her back in the pack n play. We all got sleep again..lol it was hard because I missed it and it was just easier to have her right there. Even now when comes to nap times or even at night she will not sleep good at all being held or in bed with us. She is up every 30mins to an hour. 

[MJB]

My first son used me as a human pacifier all night long, and it was very hard on me. I was exhausted and in chronic pain. We night-weaned at 14 months and within a couple weeks we were all sleeping through the night (in the same bed). With #2 we started night-weaning before a year, and for a while I slept in another bed. It was a long ordeal but worth it in the long run. My third is 8 mos. and we've been trying to reduce her night-nursings (on average twice a night, but sometimes 3-4). Lately I've been going to bed with her, nursing her the first time she wakes (around 2), then nursing her a second time (4-5am) but she will not unlatch without waking and crying. So I leave the room and she is asleep within 2 minutes. Last night was the first time I just started out the night apart from her-- she slept through the night for the first time, in our bed without me. We're going to try again tonight but I really think just being next to mom is what makes them want to nurse. 

[Greenlea]

So I've been doing what PP have said and started nursing him sitting up, instead of lying down.  Its been working.  He eats more and goes right back to sleep to the point where I just put him back in the cradle.  He has only woken 3 times the last couple of nights, which is much better than every hour like it has been.  Problem now is he gets up at 3:30am and won't go back to sleep until like 5:00am.  This is killing me even more cuz I wake up at 6:00am to get ready for work.  And since he's been up he doesn't like getting up now so I can go to work.  How do I stop him from doing this??

[Greenlea]

Okay, sorry to post again, but I have an update.  Its been about a month for me where DS has been getting up a lot at night.  He refused to eat laying down, so I've been sitting up feeding him.  Well the past two nights he's started eating laying down again!  This is awesome for me as now I can sleep through his feedings and him wanting to use me as a paci.  I'm hoping his phase is over!

To the OP, how have you been doing?