I am a single mom but ds's father has Asperger's (so does my son.) When his father is around, it's a nightmare. It has gotten to the point where my son's neuropsych has officially stated that ds's father can't be alone with ds. He just doesn't do a good job at parenting and loses his temper all the time (not hitting.)
My son has other medical conditions so he gets sick quite often. This means, I can't work outside the home. So, financial hardship makes life unpleasant. I also homeschool at the moment because ds was traumatized at school (we are meeting with the school to discuss an out of district placement but I'll be hugely surprised if they agree.)
So, I'm with ds 24/7. It's exhausting. And having to act like a parent to his father when he is visiting makes me angry. He refuses to get help. He admits that he has Asperger's but won't do anything to try to learn to deal with it.
I feel your pain!