SPD - Therapy for Screaming/Yelling

[Calm]

I'm just on the hunt for information and ideas on therapy/help for extreme and frequent screaming in an almost three year old.  I am having his hearing tested and will go from there.  So to avoid a discussion on whether or not my son has SPD, I'd rather just cut to actions I can take right now as the process of assessment unfolds.  He does have other signs of SPD but they've got nothing on this screaming thing.  

Does anyone have a child who is EXTREMELY loud... please note, I do emphasise strongly that the screaming and his voice in general is excessively loud often to the point of intolerable.  My head is constantly ringing, my husband bought me special headphones for Christmas!  My daughter is often sent into tears with it (as am I) as no matter how much she tries to help him, he is aggressive with her, and just keeps screaming his demands or his upset over and over.  Yesterday she just fell apart and said, "I just can't take it anymore he just won't stop please make him stop oh god..."  She is almost 9 years old, and has been very forgiving and tolerant considering.  He has been difficult for DD.  We can barely converse with her (or each other as a couple) most of the time, he is constantly demanding and so god damned LOUD that we try to talk to one another and just give up because it can't be done... this is incredibly unfair to my daughter who needs some attention too, and needs to discuss things with us without us having to find a quiet spot all the time or "make special time" for her.  Ridiculous... it just isn't working, and it is hurting her emotionally.

The screaming has got to go, or at least we need a way to deal with it more effectively.  I've posted many times in the past but it never occurred to me to post in special needs... where the people probably have better experience and advice for this issue.  He has little patience, is sent into screaming as his first reaction to the slightest problem, even so far as suddenly exploding with "I NEED A DRINK! GET IT GET IT GET IT, AAAAUGH!  i NEED A DRINK!!" as though the world is ending.  So far I have dealt with it in the Aware Parenting way (I hold him or offer empathy for all emotional expression).  However, there are days when it is constant... I feel I could do more than simply deal with the screaming each time it occurs and instead deal with the root cause, if there is one.  I felt sure that supporting the release of his emotions would spell the end of these intense reactions eventually but it isn't even lessening in the slightest.  It is just how he is, it seems.  

So... what have some of you done in this situation?  What were the official recommendations, and activities?  Did they work?  I've never met a 7 year old who behaved this way so I am assuming this will lessen on its own in the next few years?  I'll admit I'm worried no one will have experience in this particular thing... it does seem to be rare, rare enough that I can't seem to find any help for it.

[KCMichigan]

I agree with testing his hearing first. 

If he has had lots of ear infections, I would look into fluid in his ear as a potential reason. Extra fluid or ear pain can make it sound like a kiddo is hearing underwater and/or distort sounds.

Second--- I work with three/four year olds. We have a little guy like that. He is SO.LOUD. and also spontanously shrieks a lot- his parent are not and  his family life seems calm and loving. He is just wired to be loud.

Some things that have helped:

1. modeling whisper, inside, outside voice. Practice them at calmer times (not when your DS is all riled up or tired). Responding only to that tone (hard at first, but works 80% of the time now at school for this little guy). Have fun with voices- make soft noises noises, funny noises, etc to try to build up a range of volume instead of just LOUD.

2. try to ward off unwanted noises: this too-- takes time. We remind our little guy that shrieking is for outside play and that friends are playing, etc. BEFORE playtime. If he starts yelling-- we stop him gently and remind him to stop. Yes, we did it a lot and still do. But now a few months later, we can call his name/look at him and shake your heads and he stops or says " no yelling, yes, yes".

We have not used it at school: but one of my DDs w/ sensory concerns we used a calming CD (found on Amazon) that helped deal with her emotions http://www.amazon.com/Swan-Mermaid-AGES-pediatricians-AIRY-MELODY-COM/dp/B001HAAOJO/ref=pd_sim_m_2 . It has helped as well and was suggested by her OT.

You could also ask for an OT evaluation through your schools - if he is close to three or Early Intervention if he is closer to two. They may find other reasons for the screaming-- it may be a sensory processing concern and/or he may have some other concerns that they may pick up on and have ideas to help (even if he does not qualify for any therapies).

[RiverTam]

I have a son with Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder, along with some specific deficits in semantics and pragmatics. He has poor volume control over his voice. He is a loud human.

We're working on it. We've had some luck with The Social Skills Picture Book to work on communication skills. (Ie. What to do besides yelling)

http://www.amazon.com/Picture-Teaching-emotion-communication-children/dp/1885477910/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1300116124&sr=8-1

We use the 5 Point Scale just to work on volume control. We spend a lot of time saying "You're getting loud. Take your voice to a Level 3" while holding up three fingers.

DS reads so we made a scale like this one:

http://burroughs.mpls.k12.mn.us/the_incredible_5-point_scale.html

but we put a lot more stuff on it. I made a column for where and when to use the voice at each level. (Example: at the movies, during church, the baby is sleeping, funerals = Level 2)

He also has speech therapy and they work on pragmatics and social communication at therapy.

[Rose-Roget]

Agree with all of the above. 

A 5-Point Scale would be a good visual.  Once you guys have designed it together and practiced the different voices, then you could post it around the house and even carry mini charts/numbers to let him have frequent feedback about his level.  (This kind of scale could also be useful for gauging his reactions to situation - tiny to volcano level problems - if that's an issue too.  But I'd wait until later to introduce it.)

I'd pair that with a social story about voice level and why it matters (how it makes others feel, that you care about and want to support him/his needs, appropriate voicing and how that makes people feel, etc...).