I want raw milk, DH doesn't

[Lirazel]

I've been learning about raw milk lately and I'm really interested.  DH isn't impressed by my arguments.  We have access to grass-fed, unhomogonized pasteurized milk, so is it worth it to keep pushing the issue?  He doesn't think it's worth it to drive 1/2 an hour away to get raw milk that he is not convinced is truly safe for some mystical, magical benefits of a few extra enzymes and bacteria and my impassioned declarations that pasteurized milk is "not how it's supposed to be."  He's with me on the grass-fed issue though.  We don't have lactose intolerance or any huge health issues that we want to see if raw milk could help us with. (Though I have PCOS and I'm curious if it would do anything for me there.)  But I think the benefits would be important now, while we're young and health issues have *not* started to build up and for our son to drink *real* milk from the start (though that's even harder for DH to accept cause they say some of the people most likely to get sick are children).

In trying to sort through the issues, it's been hard for me to find evidence of how many illnesses have actually come from pastured cows as opposed to other cows.  And the raw milk advocates would have me believe that many of the raw milk illnesses are falsely blamed on the milk, but DH wants the hard numbers.  (He's an academic and needs research and reputable sources to really believe it.  Anecdotes aren't cutting it for him.)

He's not worried about mild tummy-trouble per se but the big diseases that send you to the ER and leave your crippled for life. 

So, is this a battle worth fighting?

[cristeen]

How much do you each drink?

My DH doesnt drink milk much, so I stopped discussing it with him. I'm the one buying it and drinking it, so i get myself raw. We've been drinking raw now for over almost 2 years (before DS was born), and he hasnt said another word about it.

[TonyaW]

I agree that is you want it, YOU should try it. If he wants pasteurized he can have pasteurized. If you want raw milk, what would keep you from it? If it is a matter of budget, then set up a budget that you can both live with and only go to the farm once in a while.

Anyway, I have been drinking raw milk for almost 7-8 years. Never had an issue, not once! My son has had raw milk from the beginning and he has had no issues either.

If your husband is a reader, then the Untold Story of Milk might be interesting to him.

[Arduinna]

Why not just let him drink what he wants and you drink what you want. I know my husband would eventually try almost anything if it's already in the house but I wouldn't bother fighting over it. We don't have to eat everything the same.

[blessedwithboys]

Is his main issue the time and trouble of the long drive to get it?  That stopped me from trying it the last few years, but now that I have closer source, we make a milk run every 2 wks.  I can understand him asking you not to drive so far.  I wasn't willing to do that either, so for me, yeah, I would respect his request to not bother.

If he doesn't mind the expense of you driving to get it, then go for it. 

[Ldavis24]

Hmm sounds like my DH, only the ride we would need to take would be over an hour away unfortunately. He thinks it is insane to drive over an hour with gas the price it is to buy milk that is easly 5 dollars more than at the grocery store. We would have to buy less (I drink a ton of milk but I wouldn't mind if it was raw) and he doesn't think that I can do it...

I am just going to take DD one Saturday afternoon and get it myself. If he wants to try it fine but I won't be begging him to have any...MORE FOR ME :)

[SuburbanHippie]

I drive farther to take my kids to school.  LOL.  I would stop discussing it with him and buy the milk.  He can buy his own milk if he doesn't want raw milk.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I would get it for yourself for now.  Is part of the issue whether or not to give it to your son?  I would probably not for now in your situation.  My children all drink raw milk, but my dh is on board with it and with the attendant risks, which are very low, but still real (as is the case for any food you eat).  If your son did get sick, that could be a rift between you.  My guess is that when you have been drinking it for a while with no ill effects it will start to seem more normal to him and less risky.  Also if you could get him to read some additional information during that time (rather than just telling him what you read), that might help too.  Good luck! 

[johanna84]

Like other posters, I'm the only one drinking raw milk and I have a 1/2 hr drive to obtain it.  My DH was 'gracious' enough to be ok with the added expense of me driving to obtain a gallon of milk that costs more than store milk for only me to consume, but he was adamant about not consuming it himself.  One thing that did put his mind at ease with even me drinking raw milk, was going to the farm with me, and meeting the farmers and hearing first hand how safe it is to drink, the testing that they do, etc. so maybe this goes without saying, but meeting the farmers and asking them questions and seeing firsthand what their farming practices are could go a long way with putting your DH's mind at ease.  And you know what? After about 8-9 months of raw milk being in our house, my DH has actually poured himself an occasional glass of raw milk! (with heaping amounts of Ovaltine, oy! compromises abound in a good marriage...)

[425lisamarie]

Well I ended up in the ER with e.coli and had a raunchy kidney infection.  The local HFS did not notify me that the milk they got one week was recalled, after a new supplier had a problem with a batch of milk.  I did not know until after the fact, that my number had been missed, and they "forgot" to call me so they said.  I don't drink any milk now, and I would have been fine had the store done their job of notifying everyone in time, because the farm took the proper measures to make sure that milk was not consumed.  I recovered fine, and it didn't really make me parranoid.  I eat what I like, and so does DH.  If he was hell bent against me feeding the kids a certain something I would give him credit and listen/discuss the argument. 

Edited by 425lisamarie - 3/22/11 at 3:51pm

[Lirazel]

I've been away and didn't notice there were so many responses to my original question! 

While it's not a bad idea for me to drink raw milk and let DH drink pasteurized, the way the raw milk system is here and particularly from the farm we'd be getting it from requires that we get 1.5 gallons per week.  I can't drink that much alone and it would be silly to get more pasteurized milk on top of it!  (I suppose we could buy it raw and heat it at home for DH and possibly DS.)  The cost is actually cheaper than the store-bought organic milk.

But I guess part of my question is....  Are the benefits of raw milk really worth the trouble?  Right now I can believe that raw milk is essentially a different food from pasteurized milk.  That it has the ability to help us resist diseases and allergies, help my son grow better, give us better dental and skin health, keep our bodies running more smoothly overall, and that it tastes better in addition to all that.  But have I just been caught up in the raw milk propaganda?  All of that seems well worth it to drive 1/2 an hour away to get it and to risk a tiny chance of getting sick (DH and I debate how big that risk actually is).  But should I believe it?  Is pasteurized milk "good enough?"

[Arduinna]

You really are the only one that can make the call. For myself I don't see a 1/2 hour drive to be that big of a deal to get raw milk and 1 1/2 gallons per week minimum purchase wouldn't even phase me nor would the need to buy pasturized milk in addition for dh. I'd separate the cream and make raw cultured butter and any extra milk I didn't think I'd drink would be turned into buttermilk. 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Originally Posted by Lirazel 

I've been away and didn't notice there were so many responses to my original question! 

While it's not a bad idea for me to drink raw milk and let DH drink pasteurized, the way the raw milk system is here and particularly from the farm we'd be getting it from requires that we get 1.5 gallons per week.  I can't drink that much alone and it would be silly to get more pasteurized milk on top of it!  (I suppose we could buy it raw and heat it at home for DH and possibly DS.)  The cost is actually cheaper than the store-bought organic milk.

 I see you are in Michigan (as am I) which means you need to do a cow-share program.  Our farm sells fractions of shares for folks who want less milk.  Are you sure the farm you would be buying into does not offer that?  If they don't, another alternative would be to find a like-minded person to share your share.  They could get a half gallon and you a gallon, or vice-versa.  You could also potentially share the driving to the farm! 

In fact, we live about 40 minutes from "our" farm in St. Johns, so we belong to an informal milk group -- a group of share owners in our area that take turns going up and getting milk for the whole group.  I only have to go once month or so.  The farm my be able to put you in touch with with a similar group. 
 

ETA: I love that our milk works out to cost less than the store-bought organic!  I actually prefer the cow-share program to buying in the store for reasons of cost and safety.

[SuburbanHippie]

Originally Posted by Arduinna 

You really are the only one that can make the call. For myself I don't see a 1/2 hour drive to be that big of a deal to get raw milk and 1 1/2 gallons per week minimum purchase wouldn't even phase me nor would the need to buy pasturized milk in addition for dh. I'd separate the cream and make raw cultured butter and any extra milk I didn't think I'd drink would be turned into buttermilk. 

  If you really want to try it, just try it.  No one is going to balk if you try it and decide it's not for you for whatever reason.  It's only worth it, if you feel it is worth it.  But you won't know if you don't try.

[Sandyandhaley]

We've had a similar issue in our house.  We ended up compromising with the low temp pasteurized, non-homogenized, that's 100 percent pastured and organic.  The thing that tipped the scale for me is a lot of the herd-shares around us use non-organic alfalfa (in winter since grass doesn't grow here in winter) and that can be genetically modified.  A few of the farms use non-organic hay but they give their cows grain while milking that include corn/soy etc that is most likely genetically modified as well.  The milk we are getting that is low temp pasteurized we get through our CSA and it comes from about 2 hours away where grass grows year round.  This helped me decide.  It is a hard decision.  For us it was also a thing about budget, I feel like eating TF has cost a lot more (atleast for now since we are still getting started). 

[Birdie B.]

We've had a similar situation too. Neither of us drink milk, actually, only our daughter. I want her to have the best milk possible, of course, which is raw local milk. But I cannot justify the expense, it's $12-$17/gallon here! I use a lot of milk and cream for cooking and baking, but since only one person in our house drinks milk (and she only has about 6 oz/day), I don't buy the raw milk. We get unhomogenized, low-temp pasteurized, grass-fed milk from a local farm for a much more affordable $6/gallon, and I'm fine with that.  Since it's mostly used for cooking, I don't see the point in paying extra for the raw stuff.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Wow, Birdie!  At those prices, I don't blame you.  We could never afford that.  I'm curious, is raw milk available in stores in your area?  That's one reason I kind of like the cow-share arrangement we are forced into here.  It's not terribly convenient, and availability is limited by your location, but for those who can get to it, it's affordable. 
 

Originally Posted by Birdie B. 

We've had a similar situation too. Neither of us drink milk, actually, only our daughter. I want her to have the best milk possible, of course, which is raw local milk. But I cannot justify the expense, it's $12-$17/gallon here! I use a lot of milk and cream for cooking and baking, but since only one person in our house drinks milk (and she only has about 6 oz/day), I don't buy the raw milk. We get unhomogenized, low-temp pasteurized, grass-fed milk from a local farm for a much more affordable $6/gallon, and I'm fine with that.  Since it's mostly used for cooking, I don't see the point in paying extra for the raw stuff.