or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › August 2011 › Could Use Good Thoughts Tomorrow!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Could Use Good Thoughts Tomorrow!

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 

I'm so so so nervous.  We have our 20 week u/s tomorrow with the Perinatologist.  I'm a nervous wreck.  I am taking the measurements from the 3d u/s and also writing down every single thing he didn't mention or measure at the 16 week u/s so that we cover all of our concerns.  If I have to leave there feeling let down with so many questions lingering I will have no choice but to go elsewhere, which will most likely be difficult.  I hope and pray that all of this is just my anxiety and that this baby has beat the odds and that he will be healthy and ok.  It will be a miracle if he is, because I do not know how such a tiny little thing could survive the meds and horrible panic I have endured.  Any calming, positive thoughts (or prayers) you can send my way are greatly appreciated!!

 

Here's a profile pic at 17 weeks (hopefully it works)

 

17weeksedit.jpg

post #2 of 51

Good luck! (((HUGS)))

post #3 of 51

I'm going in tomorrow for my 20 week ultrasound, too!! I'll be thinking of you while I get mine :)

post #4 of 51

Sending good thoughts your way! 

post #5 of 51

I'll be praying you find out all you need to - and that you find, even if there are some concerns, that compared to your fears, they're minimal.  (Not in *any way* to minimize your fears; just hoping and praying for you to get good, solid, reassuring news!)

 

 

post #6 of 51

Lots of good thoughts for you!

post #7 of 51

Good luck tomorrow!  Can't wait to hear a bunch of good news :)

post #8 of 51

Good thoughts headed your way!  I love the ultrasound pic in your post.  What a cutie!

post #9 of 51

Thinking of you mama!  Hoping you come back with a huge smile and great news and MORE PICS!!

post #10 of 51

Hope that things are going well for you today!  Keep us posted...  I thought of you this AM as soon as I logged in!

post #11 of 51
Thread Starter 

Well....baby has a moderately dilated kidney which the Peri said is a soft marker so I had an amnio.  I knew that I would if he saw anything.  He dismissed my concerns over the BPD/FL ratio so whatever. I feel like the u/s wasn't very in depth.  I had to ask various questions and he went back to measure things I mentioned (like he wasn't even going to do it).  I'm feeling a whole host of emotions right now.  I'm worried about the kidney situation and if it's going to get worse, if it's going to affect my amniotic fluid, if lungs won't develop and we'll have to deliver early.  I'm just worried.  So I'm worried about the amnio results, but I'm also worried about the kidney situation as well. 

 

I just don't know what any of it means and I'm tempted to call a Nephrologist (which both of my kids see already) to see his thoughts.  I wonder if it has anything to do with heredity.  My son has a duplex kidney, but it was never seen on our level 2 u/s.  We didn't catch it until he was close to 4, I believe.  I'm just a nervous wreck over it all.  And again just so many emotions about it all. 

post #12 of 51

Oh, no, mama.  Hugs! hug.gif  I would have done the same in your shoes.  When will you get the amnio results?  I'm a little naive about this, so forgive me, but what will the results tell you?  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Lean on us, we are all here for you.  

 

post #13 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Oh, no, mama.  Hugs! hug.gif  I would have done the same in your shoes.  When will you get the amnio results?  I'm a little naive about this, so forgive me, but what will the results tell you?  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Lean on us, we are all here for you.  

 


Well, the amnio will basically only tell me if the kidney situation is due to down syndrome or another chromosomal issue, which I hope and pray isn't the case.  So it's kind of related, but kind of not.  It's a soft marker for Down Syndrome and I am a NEED TO KNOW person - if this baby does have DS, I need to prepare and grieve before birth not on BIRTH DAY.  I also need to prepare my children. Regardless, the kidney issue will be monitored separately.  So I have to worry about the amnio results, but also the kidney situation which is basically monitor and wait and see.  I've read it's VERY common, but I just wished that something would go wonderfully.  That we could have walked out with such reassurance.  I was daydreaming about it and thinking that everything would be better after this u/s and we could tell people, but now I just want to isolate .... even more.   FISH results (preliminary) will be in by Friday.  So we should know about DS and the other major trisomies. But other results won't be in for a couple weeks. I'm so sad and anxious.  And just feeling like I'm letting people down.  Everything going on with my daughter is making it much worse.  She's made it clear that she hopes this child doesn't survive - that is devastating.

 

post #14 of 51

Veggie, I don't have much to add except hug2.gif.  Also, just trust that you are doing your best... if people decide to let themselves "feel let down" by your circumstances,  then that's their decision to feel that way, you are not in control of their feelings.

post #15 of 51

Good luck tomorrow.  I hope it all goes well.  Keep us posted.  You will be in our thoughts.

post #16 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiemomto2 View Post
Everything going on with my daughter is making it much worse.  She's made it clear that she hopes this child doesn't survive - that is devastating.

 



Well, that's certainly not going to be helpful.  I'm sorry she's being like that.



Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

Veggie, I don't have much to add except hug2.gif.  Also, just trust that you are doing your best... if people decide to let themselves "feel let down" by your circumstances,  then that's their decision to feel that way, you are not in control of their feelings.


I agree with this.  Don't worry about what other ppl are going to think or feel.  Do what feels best for you, the baby, and your family.

 

Man, I just hope everything comes out normal or within range so you can just BREATHE for a change.  Huge hugs, mama.

 

post #17 of 51
Thread Starter 

Honestly, I just feel like I'm letting down my children, especially my daughter, but that's so in depth and there's just so much going on with her.  I'm going to get her help.  I know she's just hurting and it's turned to anger, but it's so hard.  Also, I for some reason feel like I've let this baby down.  I am just feeling so odd.  I can't even explain the range of emotions.  Just laying there doing something I didn't think I'd be doing and feeling that pain and realizing that it's not risk free - it just felt weird.  I'll keep you guys updated.  Thank you for all the support!

post #18 of 51

I think it is so important for you to remember that this is not your fault, and you are not letting anyone down! You're right, your DD is grieving and dealing with the worry in her own way, and hopefully she will come around and be more supportive. It's my belief that every person is a miracle even with abnormalities or health issues, remember your baby will love you no matter if there is DS, kidney issues etc. you are still doing everything you can to give him a healthy and happy life. Hang in there mama, we are all here for you.

post #19 of 51

P.S. I'm not sure if this would make you feel better or not, but there is a great blog I read called "Enjoying the Small Things" www.kellehampton.com by a mom who had a baby girl with DS last year. She was devastated and distraught at first (which is completely normal and healthy) and has since discovered how perfect her new daughter is just the way she is, even though she sometimes faces challenges, Kelle writes that she has totally brought their family together even more. This blog helped me deal with my fears of having a child with some kind of health issues, or birth defects. I hope you might find some comfort in her writing.

post #20 of 51

Lots of hugs!

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: August 2011
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › August 2011 › Could Use Good Thoughts Tomorrow!