HORRIBLE delivery. Have some questions for moms with my experience.

[kaypea13]

I gave birth to my son, Jayce on Feb 12. My water broke at 930pm got to the hospital at 10pm started pushing at 1050pm and he was born WITH NO PAIN MEDS (SO proud of that! LOL) at 1141pm. He was stuck on my pelvic bone which I belive caused my FOURTH DEGREE tears... OUCH. My Dr. was not on call that night so a different Dr. delivered me. He did NOT help me through any of it and was actually litterly standing in front of me arms crossed and tapping his foot as if he was annoyed. After I gave birth he did not push on my belly or try to get any clots out, just continued to stitch me up. Would not answer any of my questions about my stitching or tears. After that I started bleeding through bed pads within one hour. Couldnt stand up without passing out. The next day luckily a nurse walked in, started to push on my belly and actually stuck her arm up in me (Stitched up and all...OUCH!) and pulled out a blood clot the size of a canteloupe. After that came out, blood came FLOODING out. This resulted in a blood trasfusion. They sent me home the next day with my blood levels still very low. So that same night due to passing out, and unable to breathe, I had to be admitted into the hospital again for yet ANOTHER transfusion. At this point I was scared to death. Had to be put on oxygen. Drs were telling me they were surprised I didnt have to be recesitated(sp?) Also , through these 5 days I could not see my son which sucked because this was special time needed for bonding. I am ok now, but am still having difficulties with standing long periods of time without getting short winded and light headed. And also with incontinece of gas and bowels. Jayce's father is currently deployed in Iraq, returning home in Sept. I'm worried/embarassed about not being able to hold my gas because I don't want Jayce's father to return home to my uncontrollable gas! My questions for you moms are..... How did your fourth degree tears heal? Did it take along time? How long until sex was tolerable? Any of you end up with the vaginal recovery surgery? If you had incontinence trouble how long did it take for it to stop? I will appreciate all of your answers and would love to here your stories also! I am new and excited to be a part of this group!! 

[lunarlady]

So sorry for your horrible experience. You might look at posting in the birth trauma forum or doing a search there for more info about healing fourth degree tears. Welcome to MDC!

[MeepyCat]

I have no advice - I haven't been through anything like that.  I just wanted to say something like "Oh my god, you poor mama!"  I'm incredibly angry at your doctor.  You and your baby deserved better care than that.  IMO, they should have kept you both in hospital for an extra day (or more!) after the hemorrhage.  It makes me furious that basic professional standards were ignored, and that you suffered unnecessarily as a result.

I don't know the answer to your questions, but I wonder if you have considered speaking to a lawyer.

[Katie8681]

My god.  I am so sorry for what happened to you!  I know you've got enough on your plate just healing and taking care of your baby, but have you written to the hospital and told them about your experience?  It sounds like you were treated terribly.  I'm pregnant with #1 so don't have any first hand experience with tears.  Does your doc know that you're having troubles?

[CookAMH]

I don't have any advice but I just want to say how I feel for you in what you went through!! I pray for complete healing for you.

[lifeguard]

There is a really good thread here about fourth degree tears. Many mamas have shared their experiences including healing & subsequent births.

I know it seems crazy scary right now but things will progress.

Congratulations on your baby!

[Toolip]

I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly! I hope you heal quickly!

Here is a thread that has lots of mamas who experienced 4th degree tears.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/266955/vaginal-birth-after-4th-degree-tear/120#post_16156368

[kltroy]

Oh my goodness, I hope you are feeling better soon!  I wanted to address the issue of reconstruction surgery, postpartum recovery etc.  I did  not have a 4th deg. tear but I did end up with some prolapse after my birth a couple of years ago, and there are a few things that I would do differently next time around during that 6-10 weeks postpartum.  First, I would do lots of gentle walking and would make sure to have good sitting posture.  Pelvic tilts either on a birth ball if it's not too painful, or even on just a stool, are good.  You want to start rehabbing your deep core muscles, which were probably very overworked during your pregnancy and birth.  You can also start working on gently correcting your (probable) diastasis recti.  This is a "split" in your abdominal muscles and you can feel for it when you lie on your back and gently contract your abdominal muscles. Push in with your finger around your belly button and see how wide the "gap" is -- it's probably 1-2 fingers wide at this point.  Start to help your body close that gap using the exercises listed here:  http://mutusystem.com/diastasis-recti-test-what-works-and-what-to-avoid.html  Note: DO NOT DO CRUNCHES.  Anoter good exercise to do is to "zip" up your abs.  Lie on your side and slowly pull in your abdominals, starting low in your pelvis and working your way up to your ribcage.  As you pull them in, use your hands to pull the two sides of your stomach in towards the midline, like a corset.  It should take you about 10 seconds to complete one of these.  Lie on your left side and do a couple, then on your right.  Don't overdo it, especially at first. 

Esp. with pelvic floor damage, you will want to work on those muscles too.  Start laying on your back with knees bent.  Put your hands on your belly and try to kegel. Keep breathing, keep your abdominal muscles relaxed, butt relaxed, while you do it.  Start with a set of 5, taking 1 second contract, 1 second rest, etc,.  Then rest 10 seconds.  Do another set of 5 the same way.  First week do a few sets of 5 each day.  Next week up it to sets of 10 each day with 10-20 sec. rest between.  Remember, your muscles are very, very weak right now from the birth.  It will take time (like 3+ months) to get them strong.  After you feel good about doing these laying down you can try to do them sitting up on the edge of your bed.   The *quality* of your kegels is much more important than the *quantity*.  Focus on technique and stop doing them when you feel as though you are no longer doing them properly (ie recruiting other muscle groups).

Happy healing!

Edited by kltroy - 3/21/11 at 10:23am