My father has been planning a trip to see us after the babe is born and though we are close we only see each other 1 or 2x a year (we are physically far away). My dad has great fun with DS during visits and is great with kids. Although he doesn't cook & clean, he will get groceries, help with our large garden, animals & yard, grill till our heart's content and do other things to help out. It is great to have him visit to help when we have DS (who will be 21-22mo) and a new babe.
My mama died in a tragic accident 3.5 yrs ago now after a long slow decline due to a rare disease. My father has been alone and grieving and in the past year has really started to live again, which is great. He just sprung the news on me that he intends to bring a new girlfriend when he visits this summer (!!!!). Neither my brother or I had any clue she existed and have figured out that they have only known each other less than 6 months and live 2K miles from each other. Anyway, his trip plans went from him coming to see us 1-2 weeks alone to "GF and I are going to Yellowstone for a week, then GF and I will stop by your house for a day or two, then GF and I have a wedding to go to in Portland (her family)".
I am hurt. I am uncomfortable. I wanted my dad here to spend time with us and his grandkids since we don't see him often. We have no $ or plans to travel this year so he probably wouldn't see us again until next summer when the baby will already be a year old and DS will be 3! I already have to deal with a whole host of unwanted IL visits and was looking forward to my dad, not playing hostess to his new GF for "a day or two". Since they are posh east-coasters they may not even stay at our house- i.e. we are a little too "rustic" for them, very rural and near the mountains/wilderness. That would be very insulting.
I was so shocked, I just said "OK". I want my dad to have a life again and find happiness again and I would like to meet someone that he has become close with. However I am NOT wanting to do this postpartum and I am really upset that she has taken precedence over his visit with all of us. Frankly I think it is the worst time to bring by a new GF. I loved my mom and am still grieving- it hurts all the more while I am pregnant and do not have her. I will be sleep deprived, emotional and exhausted trying to wrangle DS and the new LO.