Family bed with 3.5 year old and 11 mo old, time to change things?

[thelocknestmother]

My DD (3.5) is making things in the family bed interesting.  Our plan had been to have a family bed until I am pregnant (hopefully around when DS is 2) and then transitioning both children to a sibling bed.  But lately I have been questioning this plan...I really don't want DD out of our bed yet but ugh! does she make it hard to keep her there.  She is very particular about who sleeps where, and wants everyone to sleep looking at her, nap time is the same thing...tons of requests, repeated requests ad nauseum, and then on top of it...the wiggling, the nose-picking, the "I can't sleep because I am dreaming!", the one second lay down in bed, then declare "I can't sleep", the talking to herself, the making noise with her nose...any thoughts?

[mamaforever]

I know it's not funny when you're in this situation, but I just had to chuckle with the things your DD says and does in bed. :)  Is this when she first goes to bed?  It sounds like she is trying to stall going to bed or that she is too wound up to settle down.  Do you have a long enough pre-bedtime to settle her down and encourage sleepiness?

Have you asked your DD if she wants her own bed in her own room?  Or if she wants her own bed in the same room as the rest of the family?  I know most children probably wouldn't want it, but I have heard of some families saying their children voluntarily chose to start sleeping in their own bed and slept better that way.

Sorry I can't really help.  I hope you figure something out that works!

[thelocknestmother]

Thanks for the bit of humor from the outside looking in...I have asked if she wants her own bed, and she always answers, "No".  I don't think she is stalling intentionally, we have a long bedtime routine...snack, bath, books, nursing, lullabies...I think it is more about fear and/or control.  Both of which are fine motivators in my book, I just need a better way to deal with them, then the 50 million requests, or upset that someone isn't looking at her, but is still snuggled right next to her.  

[sarahmsquared]

It does sound kind of cute from way over here. Maybe you could anticipate some of her requests and start early in the evening repeating what will happen. "When we lay down, you will be next to mommy" or something. Also, tell her she can only make three announcements and count them down with her. You say your nose itches? Ok, that's one announcement! You have two more! What's that, you want to dream about puppies? Ok, that's your second announcement! Only one left! ....etc.... And just see if she complies. She might not, but you haven't lost anything by trying.

[D_McG]

My DD is getting like that as she gets older (she's 2.5). My son was always a snuggler. He'd just cuddle and sleep. So I moved her out to her own bed but now when I bring her in when she wakes she starts with the chatting. Last night it was "Mommy? I'm going to throw up" (she totally wasn't).

Anyway for now I'm ignoring her but I think I'm going to have to get stricter and send her back to her bed when she starts up. I just can't deal b/c I'm so pregnant.

The requests for sleeping assignments etc I never tolerate.

I have moved my 4 year old out and he mostly stays out. If he can't sleep I go sleep with him. No more than a couple of times a month though. Don't want to get into that habit.