childhood is stressful

[meemee]

would you agree with that?

i had no idea till i finally at 3 connected that dd's stomach ache was caused by stress. that put things in place and realised dd has been showing signs of stress earlier on but i didnt know the signs.

dd is also prone to anxiety. that is her personality. she was born with it. now i notice she doesnt get that many stomach aches. its now headaches. i am not certain they are migraines. 

anyways that started a conversation with a bunch of moms and i was so surprised to learn just how many children have anxiety and/or show stress at childhood. children ranged from 3 to 14 year olds. 

i noticed at dd's school K, and 1st were difficult and scary changes - the first month of the new school year. i recall dd had to go thru the experience to believe. no matter what i did - visiting her new class teacher before the year was out, visiting her new classroom, talking about it - the fear didnt go away. she had to go thru the experience. but that's anxiety and her personality.

but what shocked me was how alll the moms agreed that their child find childhood stressful. sad. sad. sad. 

would you say that's true for your kids or other kids you know. 

[Snowflake777]

I can't really speak for my daughter, but I remember being stressed out as a child. Not all the time, but there were definitely phases when I experienced a lot of fear, stress & anxiety.

[Shannie77]

I strive to make DDs life as stress-free as possible, or at least counter any stressful time with lots of free non-stress play etc.  I don't think you can totally avoid stress but I do think you can aim to a find a balance.  That said some kids really do seem wired to feel stress more strongly.

I was very stressed out as a child.  I was a real worrier and I was very anxious about growing up.  I always had the feeling it wasn't something my mom wanted me to do for a variety of reasons.  My youngest sister in hindsight had an anxiety disorder, and she was probably raised the "best" in terms of how my parents dealt with her.  

[skreader]

Yes, I think childhood is stressful, but I think that children are generally resilient. Some stress is necessary, it's how we cope with any sort of change.

Also, childhood always has been stressful, I think the idea that somehow childhood was, or is, orr can be a quiet utopia of pleasure with no adverse or unpleasant experiences is a myth. 

So, getting a new sibling, starting school, moving house - all of these are normal and will stress a kid out. My kids had difficult moments during these transitions, but they coped OK.  They are now both in their teens and doing OK - generally enjoy life in our family, at school, and in the larger world.

[mamazee]

My 9-year-old daughter gets stressed out easily and always has.  Her life isn't stressful I don't think, but kids don't have a basis for comparison.  The fact that her life is easier than most people's isn't relevant to her.  My younger child seems much more relaxed, but she's only 2 so we'll see as she gets older.  Anyway, the older one gets stressed easily but I think overall she's pretty joyful.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by skreader 

Also, childhood always has been stressful, I think the idea that somehow childhood was, or is, orr can be a quiet utopia of pleasure with no adverse or unpleasant experiences is a myth. 

i really dont think childhood has been stressful as it is nowadays. i look back at mine (and i remember asking my bro this too) but childhood (and i mean really maybe 7 and below) was utopian for us. yes there were stresses i am sure but not to teh extent society has today. 

i think children is a good judge of how society itself is handling stress. my mom and dd are v. alike. both have 'worrying' personalities. but again even for my mom childhood was utopian. she was raised in a 'village' and we were too. 

i remember not liking school. i never remember acting up so i wouldnt go. i mean yeah i didnt really wanna go but i went... because i had so much fun after i came back and went to play with teh neighbourhood kids. i just breezed thru my school day because i couldnt wait to get home to my friends. 

my mom wasnt a stressed mom becasue she had help. a new baby was no big deal because there was so much to life and so many others that the idea that we may not be loved didnt even enter my head. and my mom wasnt my only parent. just like some of the tribes in hawaii - all my aunts and uncles were like my parents too and i listened to them, was scared of them and was loved by them too. 

however i am talking about almost 50 years ago and 80 years ago.