As your son aged...

[AnnDMFT]

I'm just curious as to how you monitored your son's foreskin as he grew up (or is growing up).  My son is 16-months old now and I never had any brothers or anything.  So, I'm not sure at what age he'll start wanting to clean himself in shower or be mature enough to be trusted to do so.  My son's doctor made a comment that often she finds things in the foreskin of Intact boys and she said that these boys are "at the age" where they don't care about hygiene.  Anyway, it just made me think to ask how you all have handled it as your son has grown and been given more independence....

[nd_deadhead]

My twin boys are 16 years old, We supervised them in the tub until they were 5 or so; we explained how to clean their foreskins the same way we explained how to wash their bottoms and their ears.

It was probably a year later that they started showering. I remember standing in the bathroom, calling through the shower curtain "Did you wash your hair? Your armpits? Your penis? Your bottom? Your feet? Behind your ears?" I would get an occasional "Oops - forgot that!" for everything except penis - I suspect that was washed at the beginning, middle, and again at the end. It took years before they were reliable about their ears.

I don't believe I've seen my sons' penises since modesty kicked in, and they stopped running around naked (around 6, if I recall).

[AnnDMFT]

Were your son's both fully retractable by age 5 so you could educate them?   That's another concern, I just realized....what if he doesn't fully retract till age 14 and NO 14 year old is going to want to have his mother help him!  :O)
 

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead 

My twin boys are 16 years old, We supervised them in the tub until they were 5 or so; we explained how to clean their foreskins the same way we explained how to wash their bottoms and their ears.

It was probably a year later that they started showering. I remember standing in the bathroom, calling through the shower curtain "Did you wash your hair? Your armpits? Your penis? Your bottom? Your feet? Behind your ears?" I would get an occasional "Oops - forgot that!" for everything except penis - I suspect that was washed at the beginning, middle, and again at the end. It took years before they were reliable about their ears.

I don't believe I've seen my sons' penises since modesty kicked in, and they stopped running around naked (around 6, if I recall).

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by AnnDMFT 

Were your son's both fully retractable by age 5 so you could educate them?   That's another concern, I just realized....what if he doesn't fully retract till age 14 and NO 14 year old is going to want to have his mother help him!  :O)
 

Explain it when they're younger and then leave it be. I have no idea what age ds1 was when he started to retract, or even if he ever did. He's never had any problems. I mean...I'm not a guy, but I have trouble believing all the stuff about how icky foreskins get, and how guys neglect them and all that. I've never met a man who had an objection to handling his own penis, yk? Retract in shower, pull it back - it's not complicated or difficult. And, even my nephew, who did go through a few years of laxness about his personal hygiene, never had any problems.

[nd_deadhead]

My boys were retractable by then, and while I did explain that they should pull back their foreksins in the tub or shower, they certainly didn't need my "help" - this was by far their favorite bathtub toy. I would have had a much more difficult time getting them to NOT play with their foreksins in the tub!

[vachi73]

Precisely my thoughts!! :)
 

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead 

I would have had a much more difficult time getting them to NOT play with their foreksins in the tub!

[kythe]

My son is 8 and to my knowledge, he does not retract his foreskin.  I have told him periodically over the years that when he can pull it back, he needs to clean it in the shower, etc. But it's not like I really take care of him that way anymore, so I haven't worried about it.  I'm sure he'll let me know if he has a problem without me standing over him, "supervising" his penis care.

He still sees the same female pediatrician we have seen since birth (she's pro-circ, but has always left his foreskin alone), but there is a male ped in the same practice who is very knowledgable and supportive about intact care.  I've considered that when ds gets old enough that he doesn't feel comfortable talking to a female doc, we will switch his primary care provider this one since I'm confident he will never give poor advice on penis care.  This will also take the pressure off of me as his mom in teaching him how to take care of his body as he grows older.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead 

My twin boys are 16 years old, We supervised them in the tub until they were 5 or so; we explained how to clean their foreskins the same way we explained how to wash their bottoms and their ears.

It was probably a year later that they started showering. I remember standing in the bathroom, calling through the shower curtain "Did you wash your hair? Your armpits? Your penis? Your bottom? Your feet? Behind your ears?" I would get an occasional "Oops - forgot that!" for everything except penis - I suspect that was washed at the beginning, middle, and again at the end. It took years before they were reliable about their ears.

I don't believe I've seen my sons' penises since modesty kicked in, and they stopped running around naked (around 6, if I recall).

I was about to post something similar!

[eepster]

I really don't monitor DS's foreskin at all.  I haven't been involved with his penis since we finished potty learning, except to remind him not to play with it in the living room.

Your pediatricians statement seems very bizarre.  Why is she looking in there in the first place?  Is she asking her patients if they are retractable before looking, or does she start forcibly retracting at some point?  What could she possibly be finding that is so worrisome?  What exactly does she expect to find in their anyway?  

[AnnDMFT]

She said she forcibly retracts at age 5. 

She's doesn't know what's coming with me.....hehehe

[vachi73]

I have said it before, and I'll say it again -- you need a new pediatrician!!! This woman, and the other guy in the practice that you saw w/ the fever-of-unknown-origin -- terrible!! All they do is cause you worry about a totally natural, normal, self-cleaning body part!

Is there a naturopath or a nurse practitioner option within 45 minutes of your house?! Have you contacted that person who often recommends intact-friendly doctors (sorry, name escapes me right now)?

I've told you this already, too -- but I have four intact boys, and everything related to their foreskins is totally, completely a non-issue. Period. The only time I ever had any concern was when my old *BAD* pediatrician told me that DS#1 had a "tight" foreskin at around 9 months. Obviously, she had tried to retract to reach this erroneous conclusion. Well, for the record, that same "too tight" foreskin is totally normal today, recently retractible at 6.5 years old, and -- IMO -- perfect!! She caused me unnecessary worry about him; the only good thing about this is that I found this forum!

Hang in there ... I feel for you, as I know you're not in an area of the country where it's easy to find intact-friendly doctors. And I know you have to have a local health care provider for your child in case he is suddenly sick ... but BOY. Isn't there someone in Indianapolis or somewhere?!?! Even for just routine visits??

Hugs, mama. You won't believe what a non-issue this will be for you and your son. I promise! :)

[Treece]

I just don't get this line of thinking. I seriously, seriously, seriously doubt that boys miss that part of their bodies. SERIOUSLY doubt it.

ETA: Edited thi because I mean washing it in the tub lol.

Edited by Treece - 4/30/11 at 9:32pm

[bugmenot]

Originally Posted by AnnDMFT 

She said she forcibly retracts at age 5. 

She's doesn't know what's coming with me.....hehehe

You should do something about this.  Now.  Who knows how many she's forcibly retract or will forcibly retract before your son turns 5.

[AnnDMFT]

Originally Posted by vachi73 

I have said it before, and I'll say it again -- you need a new pediatrician!!! This woman, and the other guy in the practice that you saw w/ the fever-of-unknown-origin -- terrible!! All they do is cause you worry about a totally natural, normal, self-cleaning body part!

Is there a naturopath or a nurse practitioner option within 45 minutes of your house?! Have you contacted that person who often recommends intact-friendly doctors (sorry, name escapes me right now)?

I've told you this already, too -- but I have four intact boys, and everything related to their foreskins is totally, completely a non-issue. Period. The only time I ever had any concern was when my old *BAD* pediatrician told me that DS#1 had a "tight" foreskin at around 9 months. Obviously, she had tried to retract to reach this erroneous conclusion. Well, for the record, that same "too tight" foreskin is totally normal today, recently retractible at 6.5 years old, and -- IMO -- perfect!! She caused me unnecessary worry about him; the only good thing about this is that I found this forum!

Hang in there ... I feel for you, as I know you're not in an area of the country where it's easy to find intact-friendly doctors. And I know you have to have a local health care provider for your child in case he is suddenly sick ... but BOY. Isn't there someone in Indianapolis or somewhere?!?! Even for just routine visits??

Hugs, mama. You won't believe what a non-issue this will be for you and your son. I promise! :)

I know, I know!  I haven't looked in Indy just because that would be a stretch to drive every time he had a problem or needed to be seen.  I feel like a bad mom because I haven't done more research into finding a new doc for him.   I have Paul Fleiss' phone number and Marilyn Milos' phone number at NOCIRC and I feel like, if worse comes to worse, I can call one of them.   And, honestly, I feel like if I have access to this forum, I'll be more informed and more able to argue with a doc who insists there is a problem where there is none.