Things that we did when DD was in the NICU--undressing her to wake her up (start w/hat, socks, sleeves), tickling her toes, making silly noises, talking to her (obviously). Messing with her nose, blowing on her face a little. There was something that we did with her chin, or cheeks, or neck, to encourage her to swallow--I can't remember what now (she's 2) and DH doesn't remember either. Has she seen the speech therapist to ensure that everything is working properly? Not that it isn't, just that this person (whatever they're called) can be helpful with feeding issues.
ITA with bottle being quicker to get her home. That's what we did with DD. She had to keep down 60 mL, gosh that was hard. I pumped the whole time, and she latched for the first time when she was 3.5 weeks old. Exclusively BFed thereafter, and BFed until we weaned at 18 mos. So don't get discouraged about that.
As I'm thinking about it, I think what we would do when feeding DD was run a finger along the underside of her jaw, from near the ear in the direction of her chin. Not sure if this is just an old wives' tale, but it seemed to trigger a swallow now and then.
Keep your head up mama. I know its a dark time, especially when others are home with their babies. This subforum isn't very active, but you ca pm any of us, any time, even if its just to vent. Lots of hugs to you and your little one.