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What do you do when at someone else's home?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

We just visited some family out of town. We stayed with them & they know we're TV-free. They also have a toddler who watches videos on the TV & iPhone. I never request no TV when we're at their house, but I also will encourage DS to do something else if the TV is on. So I feel like we're being respectful of our differences, but maybe I've said something that was interpreted the wrong way? ... This visit I felt like SIL was constantly offering her LO videos & then saying something like "well, I guess not since [my DS] doesn't watch TV." She even once offered a video to her LO as a way to dissuade her LO from going with me & DS to the store! It was really weird. I just didn't respond... not sure if that was the best thing to do or not. But it was frustrating. Maybe this is just a vent...

 

I really try not to put off a "holier-than-thou" attitude... I just wish my family could respect our stand & not make semi-snide comments. Thanks for reading. 

post #2 of 6

I have a few friends that raise their children WAY different to us. Sometimes one mom will bang on about how kids need spanking....how delaying vacs is really bad etc etc.  I know that it comes from her own insecurities with her own children. I sometimes think she wants to argue her point but I never really react.

If I was your friend I may have a minute of feeling that I wasn't the best I could be. My 2 yr old watches Diego...she doesn't nap and it's the only down time I/she gets all day.  Even though i justify it i still don't like it!

When you are a Mom you want to be the best. I reeeally wish we were tv free. Maybe she does too. It's a reflection on her and not you.

Good for you though at not reacting and especially for being tv free :)

 

post #3 of 6

We usually just follow the lead of whoever is hosting us. If they watch tv, fine. A day or two(or a week, whatever) isn't going to be the end of the world. I would monitor the programming, but that's about the end of it. 

post #4 of 6

I get very uncomfortable about it. I mean, DS is there to play with his friends. I usually say "could we turn off the TV for a while?" and then explain that DS gets overstimulated from the shows and has behavioral problems. Sometimes DS cries and makes a big deal about it, and in that case I will usually give in and let him watch the episode until it's over. Then I try to jump in and find something fun to get all the kids involved in.

 

It wouldn't be such a problem for me, but DS has sensory issues and goes wild and then doesn't sleep that night because he's up every few hours talking about the TV shows. So for me, it's less trouble to confront the adults that I am staying with or visiting.

post #5 of 6

We weren't mostly tv free until dd was about 7 years old so I never dealt with it when she was very young. Dd usually would not want to watch tv when we visited someone because she wanted to explore and play.

These days it is her decision to watch or not as long as the material is age appropriate. I don't much like the kids to go off in a room alone to watch tv. It has been a bigger issue of some kids only wanting to only play video games instead of playing something less competitive that everyone enjoys.

 

Maybe plan to get together outside of people's homes... or bring a fun toy to share... or compromise on a little of tv and a little of other activities.
 

 

post #6 of 6

I don't ask the person whose home I'm in to change their viewing. If it is a show that's totally inappropriate (some people think those gory crime shows are fine; I don't want my kids in the room), I *might* ask if we can put on something more family friendly depending who it is.

 

Many times I find myself grabbing my kids and going elsewhere to do something else. "Let's go to the table and get out crayons!" "Who wants to go for a golf cart ride?"

 

When at my parents' and in-laws' houses, I do shut off the TV myself a lot. I'd never do it if someone was actively watching it, but c'mon, if it's on during Thanksgiving dinner?!?!?

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