Where do I start? My daughter has ALWAYS, always, always - since she was 1 day old, been super fussy/screamy/clingy, etc. As she's gotten older, the time that I am able to be physically separated from her long enough to use the bathroom, shower, clean, etc has increased, but sometimes it still feels like I have a newborn. We are having some major problems right now:
1) Nipple twiddling: she still breastfeeds frequently (10+ times per day/night), and as of right now I want to let her wean when *she* is ready. However, she constantly has to twiddle/poke/prod/twist/scratch my "other" nipple, even in her sleep. It drives me effing INSANE, like, makes me absolutely CRINGE. If I try to tell her "don't touch", or move her hand, she has a meltdown until I give in and let her twiddle it again. It's making BFing miserable for me, and that is sad b/c otherwise I love it. She also likes to constantly switch from one boob to the other (like every 10 seconds), and it's like...geez... just stick with one boob for awhile, kthanks!
2) Naps: she will nurse to sleep for naps, but the 95% of the time, the INSTANT I set her down, she wakes up screaming. Even when she DOES stay asleep, she sleeps for only 45-60 minutes, and then wakes up screaming for me again to nurse. Either way, I'm stuck in a chair for 2-3 hours per day, holding my bladder, unable to do chores, unable to eat or drink anything... basically debilitated. I understood this when she was a tiny infant... but a TWO year old? Sigh. I occasionally watch the neighbor boy who is the same age, and when he is tired, I just put him in bed, give him a blanket, and he goes to sleep and STAYS asleep for 3 hours at a time.
3) Daytime: she is bored very easily (has TONS of toys - 98% natural, wooden, playsilks, creative stuff, etc - only one "noisy" toy which is a "laptop", and I rotate them in and out so it's not overwhelming), but it seems that the instant I get onto the computer to answer emails (I'm self-employed), do research for clients, update my website, etc, she HAS to have the Boobie right.then. Or if I decide to do chores, she wants me to pick her up and/or nurse her - and starts screaming and crying if I don't. I try to involve her in chores as much as is age appropriate, but usually she makes a BIGGER mess while I'm trying to clean it (i.e. she will shove a dirt pile that I just swept all over the floor again with her little broom). I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to cleanliness, and ever since I've been a mom, my house has been a disaster area. I can't even catch up enough to get it to the point where I only have a few things to do each day, and I don't have anyone to help (no friends or relatives live nearby).
4) In the Car/Outside: she is guaranteed to scream/cry/fuss every.single.time we are in the car, but even MORE so when no one is in the back with her & it's just myself and her going somewhere. So I have to go to the grocery store and run errands by myself when Daddy is home. We can't walk anywhere in this town because it's not walking-friendly. Too much traffic and no sidewalks. I do walk her around the neighborhood sometimes, but she tries to let go of my hand and run off. We don't have a fenced in yard, and she likes to run away from our yard too.
5) Nighttime: she stays up really late... like 12, 1, 2, 3am.... the time change has made it even later. Daddy works late, and we are night owls, but I would prefer if she didn't stay up past 10pm. When I finally think she is ready for bed, I nurse her to sleep We have our Queen bed side-carred to her crib. Some nights I go ahead and fall asleep with her, but usually I prefer to get up after she is asleep so that I can have 1 to 2 hours of "grownup" time - time to myself, and time with my husband when she isn't awake constantly needing our attention. Most of the time I end up falling asleep with her because she keeps waking up every time I unlatch her or roll out of bed out. Some nights she nurses every.freaking.hour. It's absolutely exhausting.
If you've read this far, thank you! I will go ahead and say that I have read a ton of books and blogs trying to find out solutions to these things. I have read almost all of the Dr. Sears books, I've read The No Cry Sleep Solution, and I recently bought Your Spirited Child (but it seemed like it applied more to older children?). I do think that we have had a lot of stress in our lives, and that I need to develop a daily "rhythm" or routine with her. It might help some, but how much? I need ideas of an order in which to do things with her every day so that she knows what to expect, and that I have some idea of if/when I can get any of *my* needs met or do household and business things that need to be done.