VBAC encouragement needed

[ceriserenee]

I live in Phoenix, AZ with my husband and three year old, but my husband is from Peru and we decided to travel to Peru to give birth here. (I am currently here) We found a Birthing Center here that allows a home experience Waterbirth VBAC and his family has maids and nannies to help out with DD while I am in the last stages of pregnancy and postpartum. 

 

Right now, I am having a little bit of a hard time because here the C-section rate is very high, 85% or so, and was very happy to find a midwife/ObGyn that believed in natural birth and has had 3 HBAC herself and has delivered two of her three grandchildren in HBAC's as well. 

 

However, I have met with her a few times, and sadly, don't have a connection at all to her. She is not really as nice as my midwife in Phoenix was, and I have been meeting with Doulas, but am not connecting with any here either....while in Phoenix I connected with my Midwife very well, her apprentice and a doula on her team...

 

Now I feel as though I don't have any other options and don't really know what to do. 

 

I found a doctor who is considered to be the most open minded when it comes to natural birth, in all of Lima. I went to one appointment, where he told me that If I happened to be one of the lucky 2% of people who's babies were able to get into the right postition for birth, then I might be able to try for a VBAC, but he really didn't understand why I just didn't want to get another C-section and make things easy on myself. 

 

My husbands family is in the same place, they an't understand why I don't just take "The Easy Way" we did rent "The business of being Born" but they have not watched it yet. My husband is very supportive though and is explaining everything to them and is 100% with me and our choice to VBAC, so that is really great!

 

So, traditional doctors and hospitals here are not the way to go for me, and this midwife really is my only option. I even considered an unassisted HBAC, but I live with my inlaws, so it would be very uncomfortable to labor among them and give birth in my mother-in-laws bathtub. 

 

So my question is, has anyone ever not bonded very well with their midwife, and not had a doula to help them either, and still there birth went great? 

 

Sorry this is so long...but I am really looking for some hope amid all the discouragement here. 

 

Thanks!

 

Cerise

[cairomama]

I think bonding with your care provider is important IF you have a choice of care provider from among several that support your birth goals. 

Where you are now, you can go with a woman who has a proven, personal and family track record of doing what you want to do or going with a guy who says you have a 2% chance. 

The other option is to go back home to Phoenix. 

If after examining all factors you decide that you want to stay in Peru, then go with the person who is most likely to help you have the kind of birth you want. 

I think it is amazing that you found this woman. If you decide to go with her, focus on the fact that she wants you to succeed and has a proven track record. Also, do you feel unsafe with her, like she isn't a good provider or just that you don't love her personality? If you think she is a good provider, i would focus on that.

It is wonderful that your husband is supportive. Good luck with your choice!

[ceriserenee]

Thank you for your response. I actually researched going back to Phoenix, but we spent $3700 to get here and changing the tickets and paying for that is not really an option for us. 

You are very right though...I don't feel in any danger, or that she doesn't know what she is doing. It is just a personality thing, but it is true that in a country filled with people who believe that VBAC is a ridiculous thing, it is a miracle that this woman even exists and has 35 years of Midwifery experience to go with that. 

I think I got very spoiled in Phoenix with the team I was working with and instead of focusing on the positive side (That there is even a birthing center that does this), I have been comparing the midwifes and not appreciating that I at least have this option. 

Thanks....

Cerise

[soccerchic21]

Where you are now, you can go with a woman who has a proven, personal and family track record of doing what you want to do or going with a guy who says you have a 2% chance. 

 

I would go with option one. I had a VBAC in January. I saw a group of midwives with Group Health hospital. There was one midwife we saw twice and my husband and I just did not jive with her AT ALL. There was another that was eh... okay but was nice. I didn't have a choice as to who would be at my birth as they do a rotation. I decided that having a VBAC was better than having a midwife that I maybe didn't jive with. I knew that I would have my husband there who was supportive and my mother. 

Plus as said before she has a great success rate and has been there herself. :)

[pacificbliss]

I had a successful drug free hospital VBAC in California but I wanted to tell you I did not like my doula from hello. We used the "on-call" doula at the hospital and she rubbed me the wrong way when she walked in the door. In the thick of things though everything she did helped. She seemed to have a knack for knowing just what to do and when. Then, when I was holding my baby in my arms I could not wait for her to leave. So, I would focus on the fact she has been successful and is on your side. You don't have to be best friends.

Good luck!!!

[ceriserenee]

Soccerchic21 - I found your birth story and was very happy to read it and hear about your beautiful birth! Congrats on your VBAC!

I am just wondering because it wasn't in your birth story, how big your new baby was at birth? I only ask because you said your second was a C-section due to size and position?

Pacificbliss - Thank you so much for sharing...I am realizing that this is very important to me, and that as long as I am in the care of people who are good at what they do and are successful, then I am grateful that there is an option at all. Congrats on your VBAC!

[roadfamily6now]

I would never set foot in a south american hospital to give birth.

So, for me the option would be homebirth/ midwife.

What is her philosophy on birth? Will she be hands off and let you and your husband do all the work while she supervises? This might be ideal for you.

[ceriserenee]

Roadfamily6now - The hospitals here are very nice, as long as you go to the right ones...but I don't want to give birth in a hospital anywhere, so the birthing center is really my only option. She really does believe in not interfering and really helping with things if I need her, or if there is an emergency, so that is good. 

[cairomama]

On the doula issue, I am a doula, and think that doulas are an awesome part of the birth team, but I don't think you need to hire a doula that you don't connect with if you are at the birth center. If you were in a hospital, that might be a different story. Even so, a doula is for physical and emotional support so if you don't connect, you can either keep looking until you find someone you do connect with or skip hiring a doula for the birth center birth. Unless, of course, you feel you really need a doula. 

[CookAMH]

I agree with the sentiment that has posted - the midwife sounds like she's what you NEED and she's available to you. Go with it, and my bet is you will end up ADORING her and feeling very confident and cared for at your baby's birth.

[soccerchic21]

Thank you! It was an amazingly beautiful birth. I had not gone totally and completely natural in my previous births and it was actually the least painful (painful of course but less than the other two) and fastest. 

I am just wondering because it wasn't in your birth story, how big your new baby was at birth? I only ask because you said your second was a C-section due to size and position?

 

My cesarean baby who was actually my second child was 10lb 6 oz at birth. He was one week and one day late. My third child, the VBAC was a petite 7lbs 7oz. Crazy! I must make small girls and big boys. My first daughter was the same size as Hannah and also a vaginal birth. I am totally not saying that big babies can't be birthed vaginally though. My circumstances were a horrible position of baby. Literally curved and stuck in my pelvis. His heart rate started to decrease to a scary amount when I was pushing. That is why I was so obsessed this time around with proper positioning. 

[Izzy's Mom]

I think you are on the right track with this attitude! Given where you are located right now, it really is impressive that you have found such a VBAC friendly provider and I would not give that up or I suspect you would join the legions in that country getting a c-section.

Will be thinking positive vbac thoughts for you!
 

Originally Posted by ceriserenee 

Soccerchic21 - I found your birth story and was very happy to read it and hear about your beautiful birth! Congrats on your VBAC!

I am just wondering because it wasn't in your birth story, how big your new baby was at birth? I only ask because you said your second was a C-section due to size and position?

Pacificbliss - Thank you so much for sharing...I am realizing that this is very important to me, and that as long as I am in the care of people who are good at what they do and are successful, then I am grateful that there is an option at all. Congrats on your VBAC!