Question for a friend regarding car seat

[Katie T]

I have a friend who is divorced. Her xdh refuses to ensure the car seat that their son rides in fits him properly. Right now in xdh car is a 5yo Cosco Senera that was in a accident with him driving. The vehicle was drivable after the accident but it did receive body damage. (accident happened on a highway) I don't know the height of the little boy but he weighs 36lbs and just turned 3yo. The straps on the car seat have not been raised since she left her xdh and are far below his shoulders. (He is ffing). He refuses to raise the straps and will not let her do it either. She suspects that he has outgrown the seat altogether because his head is well above the top of the shell (he is a tall boy!) She is not sure if the tops of his ears are even with the top of the shell, just that the top of his head is well above the top of the shell. I am not familiar with the requirements of this car seat. I have a newer model for back up but is the guidelines the same?

My questions are. Is this car seat safe to use after the accident? I am having a hard time finding the Iowa laws on how much he has to weigh to go into a tall back booster (not that he is old enough or mature enough but for her knowledge). And what can she do about the fact that he refuses to properly restrain their child?

She is very low income and does not have the funds to purchase a car seat for him for in the dads car as that is what she would love to do.

Any help would be very appreciated. Thanks so much. If you have any questions I will try my best to get them answered.

[chickabiddy]

Iowa does not have specific guidelines for harness vs. booster, but requires seats to be used according to manufacturer guidelines.  Most highbacked boosters are rated for 3 years and 30 pounds, so it would be legal for him to use a highbacked booster.  It would be far from ideal, but it would be less unsafe to have him in a properly fitted and used highbacked booster than in a crashed outgrown misused harnessed seat (assuming no special physical or developmental needs).

I have seen -- rarely -- custody orders requiring children to be transported according to the law, but I don't think I've ever seen or heard of a judge requiring more than the law does in terms of best practice.

[Monkey Keeper]

My sister had issues with her XDH not properly restraining their son (3yo at the time).  In her state, what he was doing was against the law (boostering prior to age 4), so she was instructed to call the police every time he picked her son up without an appropriate child restraint.