I agree that some time for you, doing whatever recharges you, definitely sounds like it is in order. Some time on an evening or weekend afternoon drinking coffee in the quiet (I have older children that are LOUD), time getting my hair cut, cooking classes (I love these!), once a month night church, time browsing a bookstore or looking for a new shirt, these are things that recharge me.
When my oldest was 0-2, my dh traveled 4 nights a week. During that time, I found joy in long baths, silly movies after bedtime, and lots of playgroups (and mama conversation) during the day.
But, taking care of you is very important, whatever that might be.
Contrary to the way ChamomileGirl's house runs, I am in charge of most of the house type stuff around here. BUT, that's the way it's always been (since long before children), that's the way I like it, and while my dh likes it (who wouldn't??), he regularly checks in, so to speak, and makes sure that it's still working for us.
I prefer to do most of the house type chores during the day/week, so that our weekends are full of entire-family having fun time. In other families, they prefer to have more childcare oriented daytime/weekdays, so that the weekends are more divide and conquer, with one person doing childcare and one doing housework type stuff. And, you know...Whatever works. I think that it's just important to actually sit and talk with your dh and figure out how you want your lives to run and look and be. And, then, however that happens, then, that's great. It's just having that conversation with your dh that is important. AKA the "your life doesn't look much different, but I don't think you realize that mine has radically changed since we created this little baby" talk.
I use a bought schedule (motivatedmoms.com) for my deep cleaning type housework. We moved in October to an old house that has a lot of dirt just every. single. place, and this helps me keep it under control. I also mix this up with flylady routines (so I do the same things every AM, late afternoon, and before bed--just basic routines of cleaning/picking up/keeping it under control). I have been home fulltime for almost 5 years, though, so it took me some time to figure out what works for me. And, just when I get it figured out, the baby changes his schedule or my oldest stops napping or something different happens. Of course. :) Keeps you flexible, I like to think. But, for me, yes, I do the housework. I do about 30 minutes of basic maintence every day (wiping down the bathroom sink, making the beds, sweeping the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher), about 60 minutes of deeper cleaning every day (from weekly like changing sheets, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms to more often laundry to less often dusting my open shelving in the kitchen or spring cleaning the blinds), and about 60-90 minutes of food prep (all 3 meals, plus a couple of snacks, since I have 3 little kids here all the time).
This still provides lots of time for me to be with my kids. They like to help, so often they are cleaning alongside me. The 9 month old baby just sits on the floor of the kitchen (he's not mobile, but when he is, I'll get him to play with the pots and tupperware) while I cook. The 2 year old has a spray bottle of vinegar that he "cleans" with, and my 4 year old is proud that his job is to empty the trash. So, at least half of my cleaning/picking up time IS time with my kids. But, we also do kid-centric things, too, a lot of the time. I just want them to know that while some times are kid-centric, not all times are, and the priority is the happiness of the family as a whole. Which means we have a decently clean house, good healthy meals, time for everyone (grownups as a group, each parent individually, kids as a group, kids individually) to get some time doing what they want, lots of whole family time (for us, this is early evening and much of the weekend), and sometimes, we put other people's needs ahead of our own for a time to make the whole family flow well. Yes, that's a lot for a little kid, but it's sort of the fabric of our lives, and hopefully, they'll never know a time when that wasn't our priority as a family.
I also put a huge priority on relaxing with my dh at night. My kids are older, so our routine is to eat dinner together, dh puts the bigger boys to bed while I clean the kitchen, I nurse the baby/put him to bed, then I sit down with dh. After 8pm, I am done with all my homemakerly duties. If anything is undone, it can wait until the next day. This "quitting time" is essential for me. Cause, really, otherwise, I could find something to do every minute of every day. It's very important that I quit and enjoy down time. So, I do.
Big hugs to you! Becoming a SAHM is quite the career change. It takes time to find your groove. But, you'll find what works for you. You really will.