Am I creating a sleep monster?

[nstewart]

DS is approaching 8 months old.  By about 3.5 months, he was going to bed at 8-8:30 and waking to BF at 11, 3 and about 6 and then getting up around 8.  Then he had a bit of sleep regression at 4 months where he was waking at 1 as well but DH would get up and "nurse" him back to sleep.  Then at 6 months he hit a growth spurt and was waking every 2 hours.  The growth spurt was followed by a cold, so he continued to nurse very frequently and I didn't try to cut down on the frequency.  A week or so after he was over his cold I tried getting DH to "nurse" him back to sleep when he woke up at 1 but this only lasted a few nights as DS would NOT go back to sleep unless he was BF'd.  I decided that it just wasn't worth us losing sleep and would work itself out.  Now, a month later, the little guy is still waking up at one and in addition starting around 5am just wants to nurse on and off.  A few sucks here, then rolls away.  A few minutes later, a few more sucks.  I've stopped even looking at the clock or thinking about how many times I wake up in the night because I think it will just make it harder for me to get back to sleep. (obviously we are bed sharing)

Am I creating a monster here?  Should I be getting DH to try to "nurse" DS back to sleep some of the time?  I've heard that 6-9mos can be a hard time for sleep between developmental milestones like crawling and teething, so is this just a phase I need to wait out for another month or so?  I am starting to get pretty tired and would love to even go back to the 11, 3, 6 wakings (I'm sure I'm dreaming there!)  WWYD?

[asraidevin]

My son did the same thing for two months, starting around 8 months.  He would wake up, suck a bit fall asleep, fall off and wake up.

Then he would sleep 4 hours on occasion. And then he suddenly started sleeping 6-8 hours at a time in the past week. He's 11 months.

I'm a big fan of doing whatever is necessary for them. I don't believe in sleep monsters. Our daughter was nursed, rocked, laid with to sleep until school age. It was what she needed. She's 8, she goes to sleep on her own. Sure I would have loved to put her in her bed at 4 and left, but she needed reassurance. It will not last forever, just longer than you probably would like.

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by asraidevin 

I'm a big fan of doing whatever is necessary for them. 

I really do agree with you here.  I guess I'm more concerned that I was doing him a disservice, not me.  Like maybe he would sleep better if I were to do something differently and not wake so often and that I think I'm giving him what he needs, but really I am not and thereby creating a bad situation (ie: a sleep monster).  It's reassuring that your son figured things out on his own.  I guess DS will with time too.

[coffeegirl]

Since you asked WWYD....I'm just wondering if him being in the bed right next to you and smelling you, etc. might contribute to him waking up more often when otherwise he would perhaps not?

You could try to test this theory and maybe try a few nights of him sleeping in the room with you, right by your bed if possible, but not IN the bed. You kwim? A co-sleeper would be ideal, or a small crib next to the bed. Your boy is probably too big for a standard bassinet, but just any kind of small, safe bed. That way you can still reach over and get him to nurse when he DOES wake up, and you can just see if he wakes up less. The first night might be harder than the ones that follow-- if you tried this I would try it for a few nighs and don't discount the difficulty of the first night. If it doesn't seem to help either of you sleep better/less interrupted sleep, etc., then you can just go back to bed-sharing.

This is similar to what we did with my daughter. First few months she was in the bed with me (just me and her--- my DH was overseas) and it was awesome. She did wake up frequently to nurse but would always go right back to sleep, both of us would. And it was what she needed then. It was what we both needed. Then, when my DH came home the bed got too crowded all of a sudden (it's a double bed and she's a big guy) so we put Annie in a bassinet next to the bed. First couple of nights she still woke every few hours and I'd reach over, bring her into the bed and nurse her back to sleep. Then whenever I woke up again I'd place her back in the bassinet. After about a week of this we started noticing she was waking less in the bassinet than she had been in the bed, and eventually she stopped waking up at all. (I tend to toss and turn a lot at night, so I think I was probably keeping her awake when we shared the bed). That was when we transitioned her into her own crib across the hall and she sleeps like an angel now, all through the night w/o waking up. YMMV though-- I know all babies are different. And who knows, when Annie starts crawling or cutting some more painful teeth she may start waking up crying again, and then we'll have to probably go back to bed-sharing for a little while. Whatever works best for all of us.

[nstewart]

Thanks coffeegirl, I think you might be right.  *sigh*.  My mom mentioned the same thing last night.  I guess I just love having my little cuddle monkey right next to me so much I don't feel ready to move him out of our bed.  But maybe I shouldn't think of it as all or nothing.  I suppose if he's in our room right next to the bed I could even bring him in bed part of the night, like after he wakes up around 5 (or maybe he won't wake up anymore!)

[Asiago]

I would just do my best to try to roll with it. He may be in need of extra nourishment or comfort for a number of reasons. In the first year a baby's needs are primarily 'needs not wants' (that fun starts later!). You can't go wrong by meeting baby's needs.