Working from home.... with kids.

[rhianna813]

I work for a software company in a customer service type job. I most correspond via email and occasionally make outgoing calls. I attend meetings and conference calls very occasionally. My boss is allowing our team (3 people) to work from home 1 day a week but I could see it turning into 2 days a week if it goes well.At home I have a 7 yo son who goes to school 8:30 – 2:30. My DH is the SAHP but we are hoping he will be employed in the near future. I work at our dining room table so I do not have a private office or anything. The cat has been attempting to sit on my lap or as near me as possible LOL

Working from home definitely has it’s pros and cons. The biggest pros are saving money on gas, not having to pack a lunch and wearing whatever I like J The cons are my dining room table is not my ergonomic cube with fancy chair. And my home is cold in the winter and hot in the summer.

The biggest con is DS needing attention when he is home from school. DH has done a good job taking him out but this week DH was getting sick so he napped. It went pretty well as DS watched a movie and respected my workspace.

BUT what about Summer Break?!?! Would be possible at all for me to WFH with DS home all day?

Thanks for any advice or BTDT from the WFH front.

Rhianna

[seashells]

I've been working from home fulltime for 5 years. However, DH and I have always utlized the third bedroom as an office, so I have a room with a closing door and everything. It has cons of its own - I often feel "stuck" in here, because I don't want DD to "pounce" on me if I open the door.

I LOVE saving on gas and also commute time. Love it, love it, love it. After five years I still love it.

Can you use a bedroom, even a corner of the master bedroom, as an office? Of course, I'm not sure if you WANT to (see above, feeling stuck). If you have wi-fi, perhaps you can be portable with a laptop and retreat into a bedroom if you need to, or be out in the dining room if that's ok. (I don't have wi-fi, and don't want to, personally).

I have two felines and both have taken their turns at being annoying from time to time. Both have jumped up on my desk right in front of my face during a conference call, for example. No magic solution - I just push or toss them off my desk 3 or 18 times until they get the hint.

I have always worked at home in DD's memory and DH watches her while I'm working. She does not ever bother me when the door is closed. But she does pounce on me if I come out. I don't know what I'd do if I did it all over again. I often consider moving to the dining room myself. Then I could get up and move around more during the day, get food (I sometimes go all day without eating), maybe spend a few minutes with DD. It's hard, though. Once I start giving her attention it's really hard to walk away. Sometimes during downtime I do read her a book or something. If I were working in this house all alone, I could get so much done - I think I'd be more productive one both fronts (work and home). I'd do a task for a while, then I'd jump up and switch the laundry and grab some nuts or something, then sit back down and do more work. But instead I feel kind of restless and caged, can't do anything house-wise because DD will just jump on me if I walk out of here, and since I don't have any real break or just walking around, it's hard to motivate myself working.

So since I've typed out my stream of consciousness here, not with any particular purpose, I am thinking staying in the dining room is probably a good choice. Perhaps you can build in 10 minutes per work-from-home day to be with your son when he comes home, to say hello and ask him about his day, fix him a snack, whatever you do. And then the rule is, if you're at your desk, if he needs something he has to ask dad.

About summer break. I think it really could work fine, but it depends on your son. My kiddo is 5 and she demands a lot of attention. But thinking back on myself as a 7 year old, yeah, I TOTALLY could have left my mom alone while she worked. I am hoping that when DD can read by herself, she will be a lot more able to entertain herself. I was an only child, and I was happy to just read all day and amuse myself. DD is an only child too.. but I guess she's different. Also I started reading by 3 but DD isn't yet.

Do you permit your son to go outside by himself? (That's another thing, my DH is not cool with that for DD). Are there neighborhood kids he can play with? How much ability does he have to engage himself?

[rhianna813]

Hi Seashells,

The corner of the bedroom is already an office with our home computer, monitor, etc… But that is DH’s “mancave” spot and cluttered with his things and set up for his height (6’3”). I think once DH is employed and not living on the computer all.the.time. it might be an option. I can hook the laptop into the big monitor too.

I have a company issued laptop I use at work and can bring home. We have WiFi but I need to plug the LT in as it has a short lived battery. I use a full size keyboard and mouse because I do some much data entry. So I need a full table/desk but am happy to work where I can around the house or even outside during the day. Variety would be good.

The thought of prepping dinner *before* 5:30 is also sweet!

DS at age 7 has been amazing so far. He asks if I am on a “break” and everything. But I’ve only been working when he was around after school – not all day. I am thinking about changing my At Home shift from 8-5 to 7-4 since there is no commute. That would mean only 1.5 hours of overlap.

DH has been the SAHP and confirms DS needs a lot of attention. He refers to DS as his shadow. On the positive, during summer he can play outside more - back or front yard. If I work from the dining room table I have full view of the front yard. We have a semi busy street and no sidewalks and he does not have any neighbor kids he plays with L

Because I’d be working I am hesitant to 1) invite friends over to play and need to babysit them 2) drive DS around town to visit my parents and not save gas 3) of course pay someone else to watch him (manic laughter).

I guess a lot will depend on if/when DH gets a job. As he continues to stay home he will be the primary caretaker of DS. He is very supportive of me working from home to save money, so he will do a good job keep DS occupied. I can see DS and I enjoying a full hour lunch time together playing in the garden….

But when DH works we will need daycare anyway. We’d probably be using the After School Club at DS’s school which is a mere block away. I guess he could go there anyway while I am working – part or all day. I mean if we are paying a flat rate. Had not thought of that angle!

Thank you so much for your feedback – it really got me thinking!

Rhianna

[crunchy_mommy]

I do this!!! I think it's great to see someone else contemplating it!!

I won't lie, it's hard. I switched to part-time with flexible hours about a year ago and it's much easier now -- I still try to stick to my own 'schedule' but I have the flexibility to take off with DS, or just be with him when he needs it. Would your employer consider allowing you some flex time?

So your DS is older... But anyway... From when DS was born 'til about 14mos old, I worked full-time. He spent most of that year on my lap, nursing or sleeping or listening to music or playing next to me. I work from the bed lol... I have a laptop stand to make it more 'ergonomic'... It was tough because he was incredibly high-needs and I was running a whole department so I had a lot more phone time and high-priority tasks that needed immediate attention. But I made it work. DH flexed his hours at work so often he could be home in the afternoons, so that's when I'd schedule my conference calls and deal with things that required more devoted attention (though DS was usually still in the room with me even when DH was home because, well, like I said, he was HIGH needs!) Then last year I switched to 20 hours a week (a change for which I had to threaten to quit before they'd allow it!). DS was a night-owl so I've kind of taken advantage of that and keep him on a very 'off' schedule compared to what others seem to... he goes to bed at 11:30pm and wakes up around 10am. This allows me a few hours in the morning to get some work done (though DH & I get NO alone time at night!)... then DS & I go out for a few hours and come back for nap time, which is when I get the rest of my hours in, though there are many times I work while he just hangs out with me, listening to music and playing, 'cause he is not predictable with naps... Some days I work a little extra in the morning (when DS tends to be happiest and most content) so I can go out with him for the whole day.

I love that I am with him 24/7 (though it's admittedly tough, he's a demanding little kid!) and that I'm able to bring in money, maintain our family's health insurance, do something 'productive' with my days... But I wish I was able to devote 100% attention to him sometimes, and that I could relax while he naps (or maybe clean the house!), or that I could have less structure to our days. I also don't always feel like I'm giving work 100%.

So obviously since your DS is older, things will be different for you... easier in some ways & maybe harder in others... If you do this, I would try to go into each day with a plan. What does your DS like to do? Could you organize his day with fun activities? Maybe a couple hours outside in the morning and then a nice lunch break together (perhaps including a walk to the park or a short errand), and the afternoon could be broken up into segments... maybe he can play inside for an hour or two, and then you could provide some sort of structured independent activity (craft, science experiment, etc.) and then an hour of reading/listening to music, and then maybe plan to have a friend over toward the end of the day, so they can entertain each other for an hour or so and you'll be done working by the time they need 'babysitting'... Just an example of how you could structure things, I don't have a 7yo so I'm kind of clueless to what they do all day lol... but it doesn't sound like he'd be into just playing on his own... You can also check if your rec center has any free/cheap classes or camps for kids, which could buy you a few hours here & there... don't get so caught up on saving on gas that you don't provide for your DS's social needs, you know? (Unless you really can't afford the gas!) It's kind of a tough balancing act to meet your needs, your DS's needs, and your job duties!! Another idea would be to see if there is a WAH/childcare co-op around you... or start one up yourself... It sounds like your biggest motivation to WAH though is to save money, so some of my ideas might not work for you or might not be worth it...

[rhianna813]

The ideas on breaking up the day into activity "zones" is really good! Also having a friend over towards the end of the day is something to consider. Thanks!

Yeah the price of gas in Oregon is really brutal right now and we are only putting $5-10 at a time in the tank. Id like to keep the driving to a minium on WFH days. This is why driving DS over to one of grandparents would not work, They live farther away than my office. Hoping they might be up to coming to get him instead - they're all retired with maximum benefits hehehe

I was hopping to use spring break as a trial run for summer break. I am working from home Wednesday and DS would be home from school. But FIL is taking him for 2 nights to the Coast which will be a blast.

Rhianna

[pumpkin]

DH works from home full-time. I take care of DD while he is working. I work from home part-time during naps and on weekends when DH is available to watch her. Honestly the only way this works is office space with a door. Neither of us has the type of job where we could be responsible for childcare while working and DD is too young to respect that Mommy and Daddy can't be interrupted.

I may have to increase my hours soon and DD will either go to daycare or we will hire a nanny.

I would try to set aside some different workspace. Could you make a nook in your bedroom?

[rhianna813]

How old is your DD?

Rhianna
 

Originally Posted by pumpkin 

DH works from home full-time. I take care of DD while he is working. I work from home part-time during naps and on weekends when DH is available to watch her. Honestly the only way this works is office space with a door. Neither of us has the type of job where we could be responsible for childcare while working and DD is too young to respect that Mommy and Daddy can't be interrupted.

I may have to increase my hours soon and DD will either go to daycare or we will hire a nanny.

I would try to set aside some different workspace. Could you make a nook in your bedroom?

[limabean]

I've been working from home full time for almost 10 years now -- 4 of those were pre-kids (I wish I had appreciated how easy I had it back then!!). My kids are currently 6.5 and almost-3, and it's hard but luckily I have flexible hours -- it sounds like you have to be working during traditional business hours? Is there any way you could be available for phone-call or face-to-face stuff during your son's school time, and then do your e-mail and data-entry stuff during evenings/weekends to get a little flexibility in there? 

I agree with those who have said that a separate office area is really helpful. Right now I have a nice desk and chair in our bedroom, but at our last place I worked at the dining table for a few months and it was horrible. Our bedroom was smaller there, so I got a little tray-style desk and put it next to the filing cabinet, the top of which I used to spread out papers if I needed to. Not ideal, but at least the kid-related distractions were minimized, and I didn't feel so guilty having to sit there in plain sight ignoring them -- they usually forgot I was home when I went upstairs. 

Good luck -- it's a hard thing logistically, but there are lots of benefits, and as time goes on you'll figure out what does and doesn't work and fine-tune your set-up to work with your family. 

[rhianna813]

Just to clarify.... I am only working from home 1 day a week. I have a feeling if it goes well and my supervisor sees I am sticking to my schedule and doing enough cases I could work from home 2 days a week. I doubt it could ever be full time and I would not want that. I need to see people and get out of the house. Plus there is heat and air conditioning at the office.... a free gym.... yeah it's pretty cush.

I do not take that calls or attend many meetings. I handle customer service via email and work a certain shift and need to keep up a certain number of cases. I might be able to swing asking to switch from 8-5 to 7-4 if I want to get up earlier. But I won't be able to set my own hours or work on the weekends. Although not sure how that would help??

Last week I worked from home one day during spring break. FIL came by at 10 am to pick up DS to take him to the coast over night. I worked between 8 - 10 with DS up and around. DH didn't bother getting up to watch him. So DS came to me for everything.... breakfast, help finding a movie, random questions, the cat wants in, the cat wants out, when is FIL going to be here, where are his boots. I didn't really get any work done and was annoyed DH was sleeping.

So I am nrevous about summer.

Rhianna

[limabean]

Originally Posted by rhianna813 

I do not take that calls or attend many meetings. I handle customer service via email and work a certain shift and need to keep up a certain number of cases. I might be able to swing asking to switch from 8-5 to 7-4 if I want to get up earlier. But I won't be able to set my own hours or work on the weekends. Although not sure how that would help??

Okay, sorry, just throwing ideas out there. Do you have to work from home 1 day/week? It sounds like it's just creating problems -- maybe just work all 5 days at the office if that's easier. 

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by rhianna813 

Last week I worked from home one day during spring break. FIL came by at 10 am to pick up DS to take him to the coast over night. I worked between 8 - 10 with DS up and around. DH didn't bother getting up to watch him. So DS came to me for everything.... breakfast, help finding a movie, random questions, the cat wants in, the cat wants out, when is FIL going to be here, where are his boots. I didn't really get any work done and was annoyed DH was sleeping.

So I am nrevous about summer.

Well if this is still new to your DS, it will take some time for him to adjust and to really understand that you can't be interrupted... Which is why I think having things all set up in advance might help... so you could have his breakfast made & ready before he's up, and lay out a movie and 2 other activities for him, for example, and he'll get into the routine... Although I'd be pretty annoyed if DH was sleeping too... well actually that happens frequently (DH is laid off and I'm still taking care of DS while working most of the time)...

It's not going to be easy and think carefully about whether you might be happier just working in the office... Saving a little on gas might not be worth all the stress it's causing you, and maybe you can find other ways to cut back and save money.

One other idea, do any of his friends have stay-at-home moms? Maybe you could send him over to a friend's house one day a week & in return, watch her kids on a weekend day (or cook meals for her or go clean her house or whatever would work out as a good trade).

I like working from home with DS but I definitely can see why you might not like to!!!!

[rhianna813]

I have worked from home 3 times so far - yup it is very new for me. First time I worked at home was due to snow (this is the other reason it is available to me) and not being able to travel to work. DS was home all day but it went pretty good. DH kept him fairly entertained. The next time DS was at school for all but 2 hours of my day and it went fine. This last time DS was home in the morning, DH was sleeping and things were not that great. He is the SAHP and should have been up so it was really him I was irritated with. Then DS left for the rest of the day and I worked uninterupted.

Saving gas and travel time is the main pro. It is not uncommon for me to get stuck in traffic for 20 - 30 mins because of an accident on the way home several times a month. Gas is 3.70 a gallon.

I think things will continue to go pretty good through the school year. With there being a 1.5 - 2 hour overlap of me working and DS being home from school. But yes I am nervous trying this during the summer when he is home all day. That is not until Mid June so things might be in a better routine by then. But alas I am open to working at work, if it turns out to be the least stressful option.

Thanks for everyones feedback!

Rhianna

[madskye]

If you can plan to work from home one specific day a week, can you set DS up in activity that afternoon?  And then use the same model when you work from home during the summer.  You'll still have more time together, because you won't be commuting.  And I'd definitely work out space in your bedroom with your DH, so that you have a quiet place to do your work where it's clear you cannot be disturbed.