or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › I'm having a really hard time with all this
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm having a really hard time with all this

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

I have two girls ages 3.5 and 12 months.  I've been a SAHM since dd1 was born and have always loved it.  But 2 kids is SOOO hard!  The baby still wakes up a few times at night to bf so I never get a really good sleep.  So I'm always so tired.  And I'm a person who neeeeds my sleep.

 

And dh and I don't really talk except to update each other on the kids, mostly cause I'm so talked out by the end of the day.  Plus we argue and our relationship isn't that great anymore. 

 

AND the latest thing, which I was really only going to post about is that I feel SOOO sick and tired of our weekly routine!!!  We go to a few different playgroups during the week and see friends on one or two other days.  At today's playgroup, which I used to love, I was soooo bored I was saying to myself, 'We can never come here again.'  I felt soooo sick and tired of the songs they sang, I hated them!  Sooo annoyed at the snatchy kids, wild kids, snotty nosed kids, kids who talked to me and I thought, 'Ugh, I cannot deal with aNOTHER kid talking to me!  I have enough with my two!'

 

I live in another country, so my family and dh's family are all in separate countries from us so I have no help. 

 

I need a vacation but dh couldn't get off till April so we have to wait another month for that............

 

I guess I'm burnt out.  Does anyone else ever feel like this or am I the only one?

post #2 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plarka View Post

I guess I'm burnt out.  Does anyone else ever feel like this or am I the only one?


hug2.gif Yes, of course, and no you're not the only one - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you're feeling.  It - is - very hard.  

 

Do you have some quick picker-upper when you're feeling particularly blah ...?  Or, perhaps take a nap with the kids during the day, if their naps overlap?

 

It really is ok to feel like this. 

 

 

 

 

 

post #3 of 9

I hear you, mama. Mine are about 5 months and 2.5 years and I'm going a little bit crazy. This is compounded by the fact that DH is away for the better part of a month and our beloved babysitter/cleaning lady can only come for a couple of hours twice a week. Other than that I'm on my own. I get two hours on Mondays to run errands, two hours on Thursdays for an appointment, and three hours on Saturdays for a knitting group I started and sort of have to attend (which is good because it means I can't talk myself out of doing this much-needed thing that's MINE).

 

I'm so sleep-deprived and exhausted it's ridiculous. I have huge dark circles under my eyes and can barely function. And DH will be gone until mid-April so it's not like it's going to get better any time soon. No advice here but you're not alone. We wanted four kids but I'm struggling so much with two that I don't even see how it would be possible. I feel like the worst mom ever. 

 

Anyway the only thing that helps me is to get the kids in the car and take them somewhere, anywhere--it doesn't even matter. The park, the drive-through coffee place, a scenic drive through the countryside, whatever. Sometimes they even sleep on the drive and I can listen to music and zone out and sip a latte (the caffeine is very necessary while driving since I'm so tired all the time). I don't know if that would be an option for you but it really helps me. hug.gif

post #4 of 9
Thread Starter 

Thank you so much! It's just so nice to hear I'm not alone.  I see you're a Christian, I am too! 

 

To me, 2 kids is like 8!

 

.

 

post #5 of 9

I hear you guys!  my husband has been away for 2 weeks. We have a 9 yr, 7 yr, 2 yr old.

 

I am so tired, burnt out etc. The baby does not nap so I never get a break. She talks non stop...so I am always answering questions and talking to her. When they all go to bed at 8pm I am DONE but still have to iron uniforms and make sandwiches.

 

We have all just had a virus so that has been tough. The older two are off school tomorrow.

 

I have no family here and there are no playgroups.

 

I don't do anything for myself, ever unless going to the bathroom/shower counts! I am just exhausted and wish I had more help so I could enjoy it more.

post #6 of 9

Could you just take a break from all the stuff? Just hunker down at home, if you want to go out to lunch spontaneously, just do that. Or if you want to meet up with a particular friend, do that. But otherwise, just take it easy? Watch some movies with the little ones, try and take a 'break' from all the running around.

 

Definitely, it's completely normal to get burned out. I totally do, too. I'm feeling that way right now because we're about to be moving, DH is taking a new job, but I've been dealing with a couple of different illnesses and injuries that seem to come right after the other and I feel like I can't get my feet under me. 

post #7 of 9

I hear you, and you're definitely not alone.  I stay home with 2 girls as well, 10 months old and just-turned-3.  No playgroups around here, and very little to do unless the weather's nice, so this winter about wrecked me.  

 

I was feeling a little burnt out, so I actively searched for ways I could relax a little with both of them at once... I'm not super-proud of it, but my solution this winter was to go to the local McDonalds with an indoor playground, let my older daughter run free in there, bring a lot of finger-food snacks for the little one, and just sit at a table with a cup of coffee while the little one has cheerios and watches the other kids play.  It's a great moment for me to breathe, even though I don't like McDonalds and it feels a little lame.  Just to sit with a cup of coffee while my older daughter plays with other kids and my younger daughter entertains herself with cheerios... priceless.

 

In any case, apart from that maybe helpful (or not) advice, just wanted to add to the chorus that you're not alone, and you will make it through this rough time.  Soon enough the baby will be old enough that she can entertain herself more, and you'll be able to breathe more.  

post #8 of 9


You know I think that a pretty creative solution. Often we are not willing to try something new/different-a new venue, a new walking route, even a new grocery store. But sometimes a simple act of getting out of the house and being somewhere different or new can be uplifting.

 

When my son was small the simple act of going to a the library in the next town over lifted my spirits. Even a drive thru DD coffee and the act of driving there and back was cathartic, LOL.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottyG View Post

I hear you, and you're definitely not alone.  I stay home with 2 girls as well, 10 months old and just-turned-3.  No playgroups around here, and very little to do unless the weather's nice, so this winter about wrecked me.  

 

I was feeling a little burnt out, so I actively searched for ways I could relax a little with both of them at once... I'm not super-proud of it, but my solution this winter was to go to the local McDonalds with an indoor playground, let my older daughter run free in there, bring a lot of finger-food snacks for the little one, and just sit at a table with a cup of coffee while the little one has cheerios and watches the other kids play.  It's a great moment for me to breathe, even though I don't like McDonalds and it feels a little lame.  Just to sit with a cup of coffee while my older daughter plays with other kids and my younger daughter entertains herself with cheerios... priceless.

 

In any case, apart from that maybe helpful (or not) advice, just wanted to add to the chorus that you're not alone, and you will make it through this rough time.  Soon enough the baby will be old enough that she can entertain herself more, and you'll be able to breathe more.  



 

post #9 of 9

If you are feeling burned out on playdates I would say stop going. You can always join back up, but if you are feeling exhausted there is no point trying to make all these dates that you don't even enjoy. Find something else to do. When my second was littler I felt burned out a lot. It helped to do something physical. Even having a little one you can get some exercise taking them to the park, wearing the little one and taking a walk. Or, I have a carriage for my bike so I can put little ones in the carriage and take them for a ride. Any time I do this I feel majorly refreshed, have a little more energy for the rest of the day.

 

I hope you get some good ideas and encouragement from this thread. Also, know that this is a phase, it will last a while while your 2nd is a baby, but soon it will be over and you'll be on to new things.

 

OH! And I have done the- put them in the car- get a coffee- go for a ride. That was my favorite for a while! :)

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Stay at Home Parents
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › I'm having a really hard time with all this